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Posted 10/7/2014 5:40 AM (GMT 0)
I am a new member to this forum, and any forum about my issue. I am trying to reach out and hopefully get some advice on my problem.

A little backdrop. I was diagnosed with panic disorder w/ agoraphobia at 17. Ive checked my heart by a cardiologist and everything was fine. Ive been through lexapro and paxil. I have been on fluxotine since I was 18 till now. I am now 22. I am in my final year of college in which I will be applying for medical school next year. This summer was quite the summer. My issue is this. First off I recovered from anxiety from 18 issh till I was 21. This summer I had a lot happen. My gf of 3 years cheated on me, im studying hard for the mcat, my grandpa was divorced, then I flew to alaska for vacation and had my first horrible panic attack on the flight. I ended up having multiple severe attacks. At this time I was actually off the drug for more than half a year. I weened myself. After coming home this august, I slowly started enduring severe panic attacks. I restarted the med at 40mg (before I was 20mg) because ofbthe severity and frequency. (Fyi, psychiatrist said 40) I started getting them in any stressful situation. Driving in houston really started it. I then got into a head on collisiom short after in which I ended up having a horrific panic attack. I was ambulated. Car totaled but I lived. Then after that, I have had 2 severe attacks a day. 2 weeks later, I endured the worst attack of my life. I feel to the floor gasping for air, heart racing like no other.

Here is my problem. I originally had a way to calm myself down, but nothing works now. I am struggling with severe attacks every day for the past 3 weeks. They are very debilitating. I have a fear of "forgetting how to breath" now, fear of losing my mind (lately I feel I am not on this earth, like im over complicating existence), fear of unknown things, deep depression in which I cannot do anything but cry. I am having horrible post severe symptoms since my attack. I had 3 attacks right after a other for 4 hours. I cant eat anymore. I cant think anymore. I think to much. Breathing exercises actuslly induce panic attacks. I feel bronchoconstricrion even if it isnt truth. My nose clogs up making anxiety worst. Every attack I have for these weeks have left me feel like a puppet. I dont know what to do. Im scared to wake up sometimes, like id rather just sleep cause I cant feel these symptoms while unconscious. Im struggling. I just need help. Sorry for this long post. But its just a quick view into my overcomplex mind. I fear ao many things, overanalyze everything to the point of questioning existence of whats in front of me. It scaring me so much. I see now how ptsd is really scary for some.
Posted 10/7/2014 6:14 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry you have been through so much. Welcome to HW. There are many of us who suffer a lot right along with you.

Some coping techniques don't work on all of us. Sometimes I'm capable of meditating and sometimes I can't. Sometimes breathing works and during times of severe attacks it does make it worse on me.

I suffer with anxiety attacks and panic at least 2-3 times a day. I too have agoraphobia, emetophobia, OCD, and depression. I totally understand the physical symptoms.

First off. How long were you off medication? Sounds like you really need to speak to a doctor about the medication. If you were off awhile taking such a high dose suddenly could probably mess you up too. Has the doctor ever gave you anything for immediate relief like Xanax, klonopin or valliums? They don't work instantly but will calm you down shortly after.

I wish you the best. You really need to try and speak to the doctor so you don't hurt yourself with your medication.
Posted 10/7/2014 6:18 AM (GMT 0)
Ive been on 40mg for 2 months now. Originally I was off the meds for a year or so. You think the sudden high dose really could shock my system? The severe attack came on pretty sudden. As of now ive taken 35mg because I was terrified that 40mg may of been too high. My doctor has me at 40mg right now. Im seeing him tomorrow
Posted 10/7/2014 6:19 AM (GMT 0)
Btw no I dont take any benzos. Im kinda terrified of drugs affecting cognition
Posted 10/7/2014 6:30 AM (GMT 0)
Oh. lol.

Well that's good you get to see him soon. Sounds like you need adjustment ASAP. Personally I would have started off at minimum dose and slowly worked up.

I've been on klonopin since I was 15, I'm 32 now. So that's a long time. Also from past experience. Sometimes something works and if you quit taking them and start again they affect you differently. Like the brain chemistry changed. All the medications are a guessing game. Maybe he can try something different. I've been on an extensive amount over the years. Never found the right combo so I just stick with my klonopin.
Posted 10/7/2014 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
Great advice and input Bak!

Would like to add my support and encouragement !
Posted 10/7/2014 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
Btw no I dont take any benzos. Im kinda terrified of drugs affecting cognition.

But hopefully the medicine can get squared away. Its just so pathetic and saddening that I use to be able to not care about if I could breath or not. Now I cant play basketball or anything that elevates breathing without having an attack..
Posted 10/7/2014 4:50 PM (GMT 0)
I have the same problem with deep breathing in that it actually makes my anxiety worse. I'm managing pretty well but a year ago, I was terrified to drive to work. So, here I was, a 35 year old teacher and mother of 3, and my dad was either driving me to work or following close behind. I didn't feel like I was ever going to get past that, but once I got my meds worked out, I slowly started to feel better. I have also had health anxiety so bad....this year alone I've had a brain CT with contrast, a X-ray of the soft tissues of my neck, an ultrasound of my thyroid, blood work twice, a chest X-ray, and an EKG. I say all that just to say that I've worked past all that when it seemed so bad at one time.

One thing that works for me is just accepting the anxiety and working through it if that makes sense. The worse I fought it, the worse my panic escalated. Also, when I started getting panicky I would start saying my ABC's backwards or thinking very intently about every minute of my day that day. I know that seems silly but it really helps me to get my mind focused elsewhere.

Anxiety does still rear it's ugly head occasionally and I do have a prescription for xanax to take as needed, which is rarely at this point.

Don't give up! You will find what works for you :-)
Posted 10/7/2014 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome!

I am really sorry to read of your recent challenges, and the return of anxiety/panic. :( We understand how you are feeling, so know that you have found a place of caring friends, who are willing to listen and support you anytime you need it.:)

It is good to hear that you are working with your doctor, so let us know how your appointment goes tomorrow, won't you?  Can you ask about a possible therapist referral...or perhaps your p-doc provides therapy himself?  Many of us here have found this treatment option invaluable!

For now, I am going to post some great coping skill exercises that may be something new that you can add to your tool belt.:)

Self Help sites with breathing/relaxation exercises instructions

Panic attack relief exercises:

 

http://www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/c/73076/34334/breathing-lessons/

http://www.healthyplace.com/

http://www.stress-relief-exercises.com/

http://www.ehow.com/video_4405003_breathing-exercises-panic-attacks.html

http://www.psybersquare.com/anxiety/panic_relax_I

 

These come from our Resources that you should have a look through when you can. It is full of great information and ideas to help you along in your journey to wellness!

Post often, and we glad to have you with us.:)

Scaredy Cat

Posted 10/7/2014 5:21 PM (GMT 0)
First of all, please know that "this too shall pass." It really will.

I didn't know til this year that sometimes a medicine that worked great in the past, may not work after we've been off it for awhile, so it may be that you need a different med or add something to it. Is your doctor a family doctor or psychiatrist?

Please don't be afraid of benzos. They are given for a reason- to calm your brain down so you can function. They actually allow your brain to heal from the stress by calming it down. That's how my psychiatrist explained it to me when I voiced my concerns. I listened and he was right. Imagine that :-)

I took Xanax up to 3x/day. Now I just take it PRN. No addiction and NO cognition issues. It does not "dumb you out" or intoxicate you. It takes the edge right off of anxiety or a panic attack.

Can you access a therapist through school or outside of school if you have insurance? Are you still on your parents insurance or on your own? Most colleges or universities have access to free therapy for students.

Hang in there and keep posting here. You found the best forum on the web imo and we are a very supportive & understand grp here bc we've been exactly where you are or are struggling right along with ya.

Sending love!
Lisa
Posted 10/7/2014 5:54 PM (GMT 0)
Figured I'd throw in a few thoughts as I can relate to several aspects of your post.

I've been on and off Prozac since it first came out in the 90's. Each time I "re-started" it, I'd get successively worse anxiety that took a few months (yep, months) to manage.

Ultimately, for me, I've continued the combination of Prozac and yes I also use benzos. They really *can* be used safely and successfully. That part is up to you and your doctor's prescribing advice.

After being off Prozac for so long, your doc wanted to jump right in at 40mg?

(btw: I currently take 40mg as well). But each time I re-started Prozac, my doc always had me start off at 20mg out of the gate. So perhaps it's just, temporarily, or for where you are now, just a bit aggressive of a start? I don't know (not a doc, and not your doc!) but it's certainly worth discussing when you have your appointment.

As it is now, I do not see going off my meds because it makes life......well, LIFE! :)





M.
Posted 10/8/2014 12:15 AM (GMT 0)
I started 40mg on my own like an idiot cause I thought 2 tablespoons was 20mg. So since I started that by myself for 5 days, my doctor said to just keep it for now. The doctor prescribed me .25mg of zanex 3 times a day as needed with the same amount of prozac. I hope it works
Posted 10/8/2014 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
Take the xanax when you you need it! The less suffering, the quicker your brain will heal.

Keep posting here too bc we will support you!

Sending love-
Lisa
Posted 10/9/2014 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
Ill try. I just got the xanax. Only taking a small .25mg dose. So far still struggling mightly. I get them when I stand up after sitting for a bit, I wake up 2-3 times with high baseline anxeity, 2-3 severe ones a day, and I tried looking at those exercises but I have a interesting dilemma. I fear ill forget to breath, since all my muscles are tight and weak-feeling, I feel it affects the fact that the diaphragm is, since voluntary, also hard to move like my other muscles. I also have this weird underlying fear or feeling of thinking so much that I stop myself from doing simple tasks like walking. I just freeze
Posted 10/9/2014 3:18 PM (GMT 0)
First of all- start standing up slowly when you do and pace yourself once up. I can get dizzy standing up too fast & that can trigger anxiety.

Secondly, I used .25 Xanax and took it up to 3x/day when things were rough. That's the tiniest dosage & you can take 2 at a time & see if that helps. Honestly, most ppl I know take .50 or higher per dosage. .25 worked for me but you bet I would have taken more if it wasn't taking the edge off. My psychiatrist even gave me permission to do so.

Finally, per the breathing exercises, I got the same way at first too. So instead of intentionally setting a time to do them (too much pressure in the beginning!), I practiced randomly through the day. You could go buy a harmonica. It's silly but fun & absolutely increases breathing & helps exercise those muscles. They recommend ppl with asthma to use them! I bought one lol. I sound ridiculous & my dogs run and hide but it's kinda fun too turn

Also, have you seen an ENT to check you out? Sometimes benign and simple polyps can cause obstruction & cause you to feel stuffed up which sounds like a trigger for your anxiety. Do you have allergies? Maybe an allergy pill might be considered.

One day at a time. You're at ground zero starting out and you are going to be fine.

I'm sorry but I can't remember if you're in therapy? It's a good time to think about going if you haven't. What's your daily schedule like? A schedule is so important.

Sending you peace, healing and courage!

Lisa
Posted 10/9/2014 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
I am going to sound like a broken record here but I suggest to everyone to read Dr. Claire Weekes books or listen to the audiobooks or CD's. They aren't super long and they aren't hard to digest. She is an Australian woman from back in the day so some of the terms are different but it is obvious what she is talking about.

I relate SO much to the things you said. Especially when you said "I cannot think, I think too much." Omg can I relate. I also cannot do the breathing exercises either. Focusing on my breathing makes me even more anxious. Feeling like I'm going to go crazy and feeling detached are things I totally understand too.

I would suggest keeping with the prozac and seeing how it goes. I'm a long time prozac user, over 15 years actually. I've had doses all the way up to the 60 I'm at now. I had weaned myself to 40 super slowly over the course of a year of so and I was fine. Then over the course of months I went down to 20. At first I didn't want to think it played a part in this bout of severe anxiety but I think it would be foolish for me to say it didn't. My point is that you can feel fine for a long time and then BOOM out of nowhere this crap hits you. Give the meds a shot and see what happens.

Keep up with your doctor and read Dr. Weekes or some other type of book that explains anxiety if you can. For me it made me feel better to hear all the symptoms and to know that I wasn't going crazy. A way that I settled down when I was at my most anxious was to listen to different podcasts on my phone with my headphones. I did hypnosis and meditation MP3's sometimes but couldn't always bear that. The podcasts with people talking calmed me down to listen but kept my brain engaged so I couldn't over think and scare myself more. That is how I went to sleep most nights.

Keep us posted please! Know that we are all pulling for you and that it can get better. For me the good days are finally starting to outweigh the bad and that was something I never thought would happen. I first came here just looking to see if I had any hope for the future. The kind people here helped reassure me that I wouldn't be this way forever and they were right. I still have bad days but they are less and less and it will get that way for you too. You have to remember that and believe it to get there.
Posted 10/9/2014 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
Ditto to what Billy said!!!

I am going to check out that book Billy. That's the 3rd or 4th time I've heard about so I'm going to get it. I also have The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook my friend found at Goodwill. I've yet to break that out-why?! idk why- maybe bc when you're in the storm it's very hard to motivate yourself to read/do work (even tho the experts say try hard to do it anyway).

Best to all of you!
Lisa
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