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not sure how much more I can take

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Posted 11/17/2014 7:50 PM (GMT 0)
my panic is starting to take over again. Im tired of always being anxious and moody. I hate who I am and how I feel. I feel like im always irritated and yelling at my husband and children. all I am is scared of the future and im so fearful of death. I have had a horrible year and im convinced im going to find out I have something terminal before the year is over. a few weeks ago it was lung cancer and now I still fear that as well as breast cancer. we r in the process of selling our home and moving and im sure that's what is causing all this fear and panic but I keep thinking I will be dead by then. or we wont be able to move because I will find out I am dying. im even having breast pain and I don't know if its real or all in my head. how can we make ourselves have aches and pains that aren't real? my Effexor was increased and I was feeling better and now im not again. Last night I was watching a funny movie and was laughing hysterically and then the next second I am hysterical crying. my period has been off too and im not sure if its from all the stress and anxiety I have had lately or if its hormones or if something is seriously wrong. I fear going to the drs cause im afraid of what they will find. every day I put off making an appt. I feel like once I have an apt I will have even more anxiety and I don't know how to even get through that. im just so tired of feeling this way.
Posted 11/17/2014 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
I feel for you, I'm suffering with chronic 24/7 anxiety and panic attacks myself. Working with a physic NP to get on the right meds, but so far no go. He recently took me off of my abilify, something that was working for my bi-polar because he thought it might be causing my anxiety, he put me on zyprexa instead and now I am on the verge of tears besides dealing with the anxiety. It's a vicious cycle it seems.

I have had the chest pains and thought I was having a heart attack, a few months ago it got really bad, my blood pressure was super high and I went to the dr, she ended up calling for a ambulance and they took me to the hospital, they did blood work, ekg, and I had a stress test about a week later. Everything checked out okay. I still get chest pains but think it is a side effect of panic attack. Heart disease runs in my family, so I'm still worried I'm going to have a heart attack and die. I am so terrified of dying.

You are not alone, I know how you feel. I'm tired of feeling this way too. Hopefully better days are to come for us both.
Posted 11/17/2014 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
NMP,

I am so sorry that you are going through this tough time currently.:(

You have a lot going on in your life right now. Trying to sell your house and move....plus deal with all of life's other responsibilities...plus deal with anxiety! All of that is bound to take it out of you...and make managing your symptoms really hard.

However carving out time to do your coping exercises now is more important than ever! It may seem impossible, but the gain will be worth it.

Finding ways to break the anxiety=symptoms=more anxeity=more symtoms.....is crucial!

If you can just take 10 min, 3x's a day to do some breathing/meditation/progressive muscle relaxation/journaling/positive visualization...ect., I think you will really start to see some improvement.

Keep posting with us. We understand, care and are here to cheer you on!

S.C.
Posted 11/18/2014 2:23 PM (GMT 0)
idk - I try to do breathing exercises and it doesn't seem to help. the only thing I want to do is sleep. I hate being awake. im just so tired of all of this. :(
Posted 11/18/2014 2:45 PM (GMT 0)
I know the feeling! I had chest pain this morning when I woke up. I thought for sure I was dying.
If it makes you feel any better, I worked at a cancer center for years (had to quit because of my anxiety) but usually breast pain is a good sign that it's NOT cancer. I know it sounds crazy but I worked with a lot of breast cancer patients and pain was not the first symptom. That usually came after treatment started. It's best to have things checked out for peace of mind. I am always scared that I will have some kind of cancer but I don't worry about it as much from working there.
Posted 11/18/2014 3:19 PM (GMT 0)
NMP,

I know that it is hard to get started with the exercises. They don't seem to help at first...and in fact can sometimes make the anxiety seem a little more noticable.;/

...but here's the thing...if you keep going with them, and make them a daily practice...they become invaluable as part of your anxiety management plan!

Sometimes the things that are the best for us, are difficult at the start...and not easy to make a discipline...

...but I can pratically guarantee, if you stick it out and keep practicing everday...you will see a difference.

All the best.:)

S.C.
Posted 11/18/2014 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Self Help sites with breathing/relaxation exercises instructions

Panic attack relief exercises:

 

http://www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/c/73076/34334/breathing-lessons/

http://www.healthyplace.com/

http://www.stress-relief-exercises.com/

http://www.ehow.com/video_4405003_breathing-exercises-panic-attacks.html

http://www.psybersquare.com/anxiety/panic_relax_I

Health Anxiety - A Self Help Guide:

 

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/pages/introduction.aspx

Helping health Anxiety

 

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_id=53

Health Anxiety- The Super Scanner

http://www.get.gg/docs/SuperScanner.pdf

Posted 11/18/2014 6:06 PM (GMT 0)
NMP,

I too experienced breast pain last month and freaked out! I had an ultrasound done and it was negative. I also had 2 docs check and they couldn't feel anything weird. The OB did say that sometimes hormones and of course anxiety can cause breast pain. When I was getting the ultrasound done, the tech said that breast pain is actually a good thing (just like Bambi bear said)

Thankfully, it went away. But my hormones are so screwed up and my periods have been crazy as well.

I have the same fear that you have. I have a lot going on in my life (just got engaged, moved out of my parents home, living with in laws, upcoming wedding) Anxiety is really bad and it makes you feel like you're trapped and definitely not yourself.
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