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For those who cry...

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Posted 11/19/2014 2:59 PM (GMT 0)
When you're anxious or ever having an off day, do you just wanna cry randomly? I'm sitting at the doctors office, feeling anxious and just "off" and I feel like I'm at risk for bursting into tears at any moment. Like a full blown cry. Crying is kind of my thing. If I'm scared, mad, frustrated, panicking...I'm assuming today im just scared for this appointment, but I also slept poorly and just feel off.

I hate being a crier.
Posted 11/19/2014 3:02 PM (GMT 0)
I cry too. I can be ok one minute and then start crying and panicking. I have cried so much that my jaw gets stiff sometimes and it'll hurt. However, crying is making the anxiety worse. It's just feeding it. I know it's hard. I have cried so much within this past month. Good luck at the doc! :)
Posted 11/19/2014 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks. I'm sorry you can relate. I sometimes find that crying releases all the tension I feel inside, but times like this, I do not wanna cry and I feel embarrassed. I feel like I'm gonna melt down the second I see the doctor. My pulse is racing and I just feel really off. I need to let these tears out but this is not the time. Thank God I have therapy after this, but too bad I put on make up and it's gonna be all over my freaking face!
Posted 11/19/2014 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hope everything goes ok with the doc!! :)
I always feel a bit weird when I'm waiting to see the doctor! Get really nervous!

I tend to cry at night when I'm on my own.. Actually relieves some of the tension letting it all out.. Doesn't feel so great the next day though when all my face is puffy! :(
Posted 11/19/2014 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
CT,

I wish I could just hold it in and then cry it out at night when I can not be seen! My tears tend to boil over at the worst times!

I always tell my therapist that I must cry more than anyone he ever sees.
Posted 11/19/2014 7:40 PM (GMT 0)
I'm a crier & not ashamed lol!!! My therapist told me it's ok, it's who I am & there is nothing wrong with it.

I don't hyperventilate cry or that might be an issue. Today I teared up reading bday greeting cards for my mom.

I know tears are different than crying. We're iften taught not to cry or to stop it or stop others from crying but it's better to let it out when we appropriate & possible. It's ok to hold it in before having your appt but if you feel it after, let 'er rip on your drive home.

How'd the appt go? Was thinking of you this morning.

Hugs girl!
Lisa
Posted 11/19/2014 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
Good luck CT. We will be with you <3
Posted 11/19/2014 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I didn't cry at the doctor, because he's a really comforting man. He had a few ideas involving lactose or gluten intolerance, but then remembered I have suffered from IBS in the past, so that's what he assumes it his. However, I did take blood to check WBC for infection and Hemoglobin to make sure there's no bleeding anywhere. I'm still pretty nervous, but I'm hoping it's just IBS.

As for therapy....well the tears they came a pouring. My therapist wants to do a lot of talk therapy about my recent IVF experience and is giving me a test of sorts to check for PTSD. We talked about the possibility of me having more children and I broke down because I'm scared that even if I got pregnant naturally, what if the hormones have a bad impact on me and I meltdown again. So he wants to see me again Friday and we'll be doing some exposure therapy. I hate it because I think it's awkward and also because I basically cry for the entire session. He insists that its necessary for my recovery, but I'm still pretty scared.
Posted 11/19/2014 8:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hello!! Anytime I have a panic attack or feel anxious, I cry. It's a wonderful release for me and I always feel better after I have a good hard cry!! : )
Posted 11/19/2014 8:31 PM (GMT 0)
When I have those days I do cry. I am not ashamed to cry anymore. After the release I feel so much better and can go on with my day. I always have to nap after and that and that helps also.
Posted 11/19/2014 8:51 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah, I'm not ashamed by the tears. They tend to make me angrier more than anything. Sometimes I just hate feeling soooo sensitive. I was literally in the waiting room surrounded by other patients and was fighting back tears. At times I'm jealous of my sister, because when she has emotions, they come out as her seeming angry or frustrated and grumpy. Sometimes I just wish I could be that way. I feel like when I cry so easily, it takes me back to being a little girl and I'm a 34 year old with a child of my own now. I mean, I keep crying because my mom is leaving for the winter and she's my safe person during times of panic. So I cry. And feel like I'm 12. However, there are times where crying is exactly what I need and it feels like someone is removing an elephant from sitting on my heart. I guess I can't win here!
Posted 11/19/2014 8:51 PM (GMT 0)
Friends-

I just heard this quote from one of my favorite writers Anne Lamott:

"Tears water the ground at your feet so that new things can grow."

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Posted 11/19/2014 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
I like that. It makes me feel like tears equal a fresh start and I do kind of feel like that when I cry. Like it get it all out and get to start over with feeling better. Good one!
Posted 11/20/2014 12:15 AM (GMT 0)
I wish I could cry...I'm actually a very emotional person but I try to be so strong and hold everything in. I'm scared to cry, I almost feel like I'm then saying that I'm a weak person. I know that's totally skewed, even my therapist has said it. Sometimes I want to just force myself to cry so as to release some of this tension, it does make me feel better even if for a little bit.
Posted 11/20/2014 12:37 AM (GMT 0)
Anxiousgirl,

Try to let it out when you can. I don't love that my gut reaction to thugs is tears, but I do like how it feels to cry and release what feels like it's stuck inside. I'm at my parents house right now and I'm still feeling overwhelmed and I have every intention of bawling my eyes out when I get in the car.
Posted 11/20/2014 12:55 AM (GMT 0)
I cry at everything...whether it's sad,funny, touching, scary, you name it, I start to weep. But I'm afraid to let it ALL out because I guess I'm afraid it will never stop and I'll be totally out of control. And I'm kind of embarrassed by it too...I can just be talking to someone about something relatively insignificant, and the tears will come. There was a period of a few years when, ironically, I WAS going through something very difficult and yet I couldn't cry at all. I sometimes wonder if now I'm letting out all those tears I held in so long.
Posted 11/20/2014 3:45 AM (GMT 0)
Park,

Crying is a release for me too! I haven't had a good cry in a while, but have had a couple years welling in the eyes the past couple weeks. I cried so much during the summer, when my anxiety was worse, and it always made me feel better. Made me feel like I was still human.

Lisa, I LOVE Annie Lamott. I have one of her books sitting on my nightstand right now:)
Posted 11/20/2014 4:16 AM (GMT 0)
Mom,

The fact that you went through such a difficult time and seem to have come out the other side is so inspiring to me!!
Posted 11/20/2014 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
Today was overwhelmingly bad for me... nothing seemed to help...BUT crying... it gave me a few minutes of relief each time... and I cried several times today.
Crying is, to me, 'letting go' of the 'whatever' it is that producing the stress, anxiety, or depression... Its kind of embarrassing when it just comes over you... like yesterday, some kind teen age girl offered to give up her table in the coffee shop so I could sit near an electrical outlet...as I said thank you to her, I suddenly just felt tears streaming down my face... Poor thing...she was so sweet...she kept saying "It's ok!" :-)
Just want to wish everyone a sudden, surprising act of kindness. Bless you all! yeah
Posted 11/20/2014 7:40 AM (GMT 0)
i brew, like a strong coffee emotionally, then when that last straw hits and i break open do my little turtle eyes. cathartic for me.
Posted 11/20/2014 1:02 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Park! You're gonna make me cry😘
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