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TMA, and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day! :(

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Posted 11/22/2014 8:34 PM (GMT 0)
Ok, the subject line may have been a bit DRAMATIC. But after a great run of relatively NICE days, my anxiety is back in a very strong and (nearly) debilitating way. It has been slowly piling up on me... my oldest son was VERY sick this week with a high fever, my middle son was sick right before that, and now my baby girl is sick----and I have also caught something. :( Then knowing that next week is good ol' turkey day and all the traveling that we will be doing, well I am sure this is increasing the tension.

This year, 2014---HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE in that regard. Pardon my French there! But we have been battling so much sickness this year!

Anyway today when my baby laid down for her nap, I decided I would try to nap as well----since I am a bit under the weather and my husband was here for the other kids... For some reason I was REALLY anxious while I was laying there, trying to sleep. So I did all the usual worrying, trying to ignore it, etc.... Then I felt "off" in my heart (of course, where else right...) And that's when I felt what seemed like a "zap" or a "knock" in my heart so I took my pulse. Everything seemed normal, but there was a pvc. Man oh man oh man.

It has only gotten worse since then. Got to LOVE the tension that covers your body during anxiety... Not! Later I decided to head out for some distraction shopping, starbucks etc.. And being a little under the weather, I have a lot of head tension, body tension---and my Health Anxiety is simply taking over my day! Today I have brain cancer, a brain tumor, and an undiagnosed heart problem. I was considering going to the ER...for NOTHING AT ALL. They would say, "Why are you here?" and I would say... Hmmmmmm.... There's nothing physically wrong with me, but hey, I do feel a little under the weather. Could you go ahead and admit me so I can just sit here and be under your watchful eye?

Seriously, must I over-react to something as slight as a cold with head tension and tiredness??!!!

Boy oh boy oh boy...

Thanks for letting me RANT on here. :(
Posted 11/22/2014 9:24 PM (GMT 0)
TMA,

I'm so sorry, but I'm laughing as I read this, because you are too funny and also because I have totally been there!! I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to just be at the hospital so someone can keep an eye on me!

I'm sure your anxiety is just acting up because your body is worn out and you're trying to take care of sick kiddos too! Hang in there. This too shall pass as they say.

If you do go to the hospital, let me know if they let you stay, because I'd like to try that sometime! ;-)
Posted 11/22/2014 9:28 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, TMA....I feel for you and know exactly how you are feeling. I had the heart zaps/knocks yesterday. Completely threw me off. All day I was convinced at any moment I was going to keel over with a heart attack. They were weird. Different than the others I've had, but I'm pretty sure they were PVCs. My heart is fine, I've had all the tests and just get PVCs on occasion. I know how hard it is though.

Today the top of my head hurts and so does the front of my face. I'm sure it is from slumping over my computer for 12 hours a day or I think I may even be clenching my jaw at night from stress. But, of course, I have a brain tumor. :p

Do you drink tea? I like the Tazo Relax. I'd make a cup and find a show that distracts you and ride this cold out. Let the anxiety in, let it wash over you. The more we try to fight it, the worse it gets. We are very sensitive to the "off" feelings from even a cold. You will be better soon and that will go away. You've also had the stress of sick kiddos. Don't be too hard on yourself, that all adds up and away we go with our anxiety!!

Hope you feel better soon! Hugs!
Posted 11/22/2014 9:38 PM (GMT 0)
TMA,

Sorry about your day:( Sickness is just terrible when the kids are involved. That stuff travels around my house too.

I had a very off day this week too, after feeling better for a couple weeks. I actually had heart "issues" the last week or so too, which is not my usual symptom. I'm an over breather all the way. So it freaked me out a little bit to.

I think you're right when you say it's a combination of all the things going on that's giving you anxiety. And I agree 100%, worst year ever. We should throw a party at the end of the year to bid farewell to 2014-Year of Crap.
Posted 11/22/2014 9:52 PM (GMT 0)
I am very sorry girl!!

Whenever I get sick, even in good years (I'm right there with you that this year can take a HIKE!), I get anxious. I'm sure I have flu & am going to get some rare complication & die. My husband had the sniffles this week & felt run down. I was spraying Lysol dang near everywhere. I wanted to spray him (I'm not kidding) blush

Your pvc was from your worrying and your body being run down. Nothing more, nothing less. The end.

Easy for me to say that I know, but it's true!!! Being sick then all the kids = perfect storm for an anxious day and heart flips and flops!!!

DO take a bath this evening when you can. Get the Epsom salts out, brew a cup of any decaf tea & sink down in a warm tub. I take my phone in the bathroom and put on a Zen music channel on Pandora. Turn the lights out & light a candle (just don't let hubby in or there goes your relaxing me time LOL)!

Sending you much peace of mind. You're going to be ok!!!

Lisa
♥️
Posted 11/22/2014 10:15 PM (GMT 0)
TMA

I hate it so bad that you got the "anxiety blues". I am beginning to think that you're the "Cornell female version"! You also described all of my symptoms this week.... For some reason, it has been harder than usual.

I went to the movies recently and I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance right there! It was miserable just sitting there thinking I was going to die!

If there was a "be peaceful and happy button" I could push for you, I would push it! Distract yourself - put a movie on tv and grab one of your little ones to hold. My kids love the Hallmark movies - it's killing me!

Okay, I will write more in a bit... I am away from my phone charger and it's at a 5% charge going down fast!

I truly hope you feel better but just remember when you get to feeling bad that I am a few states away probably feeling the same way! We will fight it together...

Later dudette!

Cornell
Posted 11/22/2014 10:20 PM (GMT 0)
feel better soon. sending strength and harmony your way.
Posted 11/22/2014 11:37 PM (GMT 0)
TMA,

I too am wishing you well!! Take it as easy as possible so you can fully recover!

Anxiety is opportunistic and will try to kick us while we're down...so kick back!!

Use your coping skills to tell the worries and fear to take a leap!!

You can do this. ;) We are cheering you on for a speedy recovery and an anxiety free rest of the weekend!

S.C.
Posted 11/23/2014 1:34 AM (GMT 0)
I had the subject line kind of a day
not with health anxiety but- I can relate
wishing you all the best
Posted 11/23/2014 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
You guys.........seriously......amaze me.

So encouraging, so supportive, so understanding, when I don't have anything positive or supportive within myself. I am literally out of gas to keep the engine running today. :( And all of your words of support and encouragement have given me just enough hope to ride out this evening in hopes of a better tomorrow.

Thank you all so much, from the bottom of my heart.

Park---Wouldn't it be so nice to just have a TLC hospital..? A place where us "not-sick" people can go to just be taken care of for a while? Because we are obviously thinking we're sick! LOL. Man oh man. What a day. Can't wait for this one to pass!

Miss Gigi----Sorry for your zaps/knocks too! This has happened to me once or twice before and it's usually when I am just about to doze off to sleep, but it is completely different from my usual PVC feeling. But it always happens when my anxiety is high, so it's likely anxiety related... And you are SO right that we are especially sensitive even to the "off" feelings of a cold. That's EXACTLY what I am doing. My body feels completely off, and here I am over-analyzing this cold. :(

Mom----Happy New Years never looked so good! I'm not usually a New Years person, but this year I will be for sure!!! What was it that happened with your heart? PVCs? Sorry to hear of your tough day too!! :(

Lesweet---Lololol......thanks for the laugh!! Already hit up the Epsom salts tonight, and thankfully my husband didn't interrupt! :)

Cornell----I'm convinced too. We're anxiety twins. :P I did get some snuggles with my baby and my 4 year old tonight so that was nice. I wish I could watch Hallmark movies! Oh man, that would be GREAT! Lucky you!! ;) And I am feeling especially comforted to know that you're suffering just a few states away....oh man I sound so MEAN! But it does bring me comfort. :)

Happy Turtle --- warming, thanks! I could definitely use strength and harmony right now! <3

SC----Thanks for that BURST of energy there! I am going to try so hard to get back into the coping skills. That's obviously where I have failed this week. I was going about life as though I didn't have anxiety---not using my daily relaxation, just basically flying by the seat of my pants. Yep, didn't quite work out!! Need to keep those skills sharp!!!

Weary----Thanks! I'll have to look back at your subject lines!!! :)
Posted 11/23/2014 5:06 AM (GMT 0)
I hate anxiety more when I have been doing really good and then out of nowhere a bad day. Of course we are entitled to a bad day though, even people without anxiety will have bad days. We just focus on them more. With worrying about your kids, you are bound to be anxious that's just how we are as a parent. Hang in there and know you can have your good days back. This is just a minor hiccup. It's just like someone trying to quit drinking, smoking, etc. just because they slip doesn't mean the go back to square one. They fight harder to conquer it. At least that's how I'm approaching things these days. I refuse to let an off day ruin tomorrow. Hope the kiddos feel better and you also.
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