Im getting worse I think

Hey all, just dropping in to say hi and hope you are all doing better than me!! LOL I swear I'm getting worse...every time they bump up the meds I start improving then crash again. I think Im experiencing a lot of depersonalization and sticky brain....what I call sticky brain is when I get stuck on a subject, or something happening in my life and I obsess over it, I cant for the life of me put an issue to the side and come back to it later, it just goes around and around and around like I'm obsessed. Its the worst. I don't try and fight it because I know that's worse but I feel like Im driving myself crazy and get sick of the thoughts. Sigh* Anyway Im off to my next pdoc appoint tomorrow but Im guessing it will be another bump up in meds and then the usual feel a bit better and crash. There is a little room to go up...but what about when we get to the highest dose and Im still unwell??? What then....sooo scared...this is going on forever....its ruining my life!!! Im on Effexor so you cant just go off it, it would take a long time to just come down on the dosage let alone get off it....withdrawls are horrendous and I cant go through that I have a child to look after on my own. I just want to be well again.

Hi 2frogs

I doesn't sound like your getting worse just that you may not be at the right dose, if you are having some good days here and there that is usually a good sign, In saying that Im having a few issues too but as I look at it right now, I am definitely much better then I was 2 mths ago. I could not even function, I have children too so I know how you feel. we will get through this, its best to increase slowly and you can go pretty high on Effexor, I had a friend on 475mg. my highest was 300mg 5 years ago, switched to pristiq after 12mths b/c thought it might better for my liver, then tried to cure my anxiety with a program and weaned off pristiq over 7mths with little problems, got off completely was pretty good for approx. 40 days then major anxiety came back with insomnia, tried to accept symptoms but it was relentless and with little sleep found it very difficult to function so went back on ADs.its been a roller coaster ride but Im positive I will get there and feel better soon, and you will too. Take care

I've mentioned this before to others, but if you haven't already I would strongly suggest reading either of these books:

Stop Thinking, Start Living by Richard Carlson
At Long Last Life by Paul David

The former is a book mainly aimed at those who have depression, but there is a multitude of extremely valuable information in it. It was the first book I read in my recovery and it was like a rope had been thrown down the well I was stuck in. You will gain massive insight in to your condition, and learn effective techniques to help yourself.

The latter is a book by a man who suffered with terrible social anxiety for many many years before he found a path to recovery. He is not a professional author, but honestly it doesn't really matter. It's a very credible source of information because you know he has suffered just like you.

I read both of these, sometimes more than once, and highlighted bits I needed to remember for later. I worked with them like you would with study materials at school, and I cannot stress enough how helpful they were. If you're looking for instant help, Paul also has a website www.anxietynomore.co.uk that is very very helpful

I wish you all the best, and I'm fully confident you are capable of a full recovery

I agree with Rr. Therepy might just be that last little thing that you need to balance everything out.

️Sending loving thought and positive vibes your way!!

Great responses everyone!

2Frogs - I am so sorry you feel like this. But I can't stress enough that "we" know how you feel.

It's such a sad and scary feeling to feel like all hope is gone and there is nothing we can do (or take) to make us feel better. I've been where you are and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. "Hope" is really all we have and when it is taken away, sadness-depression-and fear start to dominate in our lives, a true vicious cycle of doom and gloom.

But...... Let me tell you now that "hope" does exist, even in the utmost, devastating circumstances. Although we may (or may not) share a different definition of the meaning of "hope", it's purpose still remains the same! Hope to me is simply a "feeling" - a warm and fuzzy feeling that everything is going to be "alright"! Notice I said, "alright" and not perfect, painless, or easy. But rather "alright" meaning "possible" and able to overcome desperate situations despite very difficult circumstances.

I get so much hope from my faith. Do you believe in a higher power? In the Bible, we (believers) are promised eternal life. We are NOT promised that our life here on Earth will be easy but we are promised a life after this one where there will be no more tears, pain, guilt, shame, or sadness! I find so much comfort in this and when things become unbearable here, I remind myself of the hope I have in my faith (Jesus Christ) and it pulls me through! (This post is not meant to be about religion nor is it meant to be offensive to anyone)

Try not to dwell on the future... Consume your time and your thoughts getting lost in "good moments". These moments could be anything - a conversation with a friend, playing with your children, responding to posts on here, or even cleaning your house while listening to uplifting music! I promise, if you do this, you will notice that your attitude will quickly turn to a positive one and you may just open up a little room in your heart for "hope" to start streaming in!

Here's a quick and good exercise to get your mind in the right place... Grab an old family photo album and really study those pictures. I am willing to bet that you were smiling, laughing, and "loving"! Try to travel back (in your mind) to relive all those precious memories! By the time you are done, you will have a certain, special peace in your heart! Try it and see what happens!

I also want to echo everyone's else's responses to you about your medication and therapy... It's excellent advice but I also wanted to reiterate how important "hope" is in our healing process.

Please know that we are here for you whenever you need us. This feeling of "doom and gloom" will go away! Just hang on - focus on the basics of this disorder - coping skills, healthy distractions, medication, therapy and (I'm adding this one) HOPE!

It seems to be redundant and over-said but it rings so loud with me for you so I'll say it and say it with meaning.... "This too shall pass"!

Keep us updated!

Warm hugs!

Cornell

Post Edited (Cornell) : 11/23/2014 11:51:39 AM (GMT-7)