Posted 1/3/2015 11:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, I was about to post an update on my situation and came across your post. I was on Lexapro 10mg for 7 months and felt amazing (other than the horrible warpy side effects that last the first two weeks). At the end of August my pharmacist switched me to the generic, through September my anxiety increased, I was jittery and wired, my GP upped the generic to 15mg thinking the 10mg no longer worked. For the whole month of October I was off the wall, one minute crying my eyes out, the next too tired to think, bursts of anger, feeling out of it, just awful 24/7.
Only through reading this forum and others did I realise that generic and brand were completely different to my body and that I had basically been off lexapro for all of September and October (on the generic but useless to me) When I was on lexapro originally I felt like I was finally alive, I had spent the age of 8 years old to 33 in a state of anxiety with occasional periods of deep depression, but on lexapro I was living, I was happy wherever and whoever I was with, content is the one word that springs to mind. I tried to explain it to a friend of mine and the only way I could say it was that for years I felt like I was sitting on the moon observing all the people on Earth, my friends and family etc living their lives and functioning and enjoying things but that I couldn't be there or be that, and that once lexapro kicked in I was there! I was part of things and it felt right.
Anyway I started brand lexapro again beginning of NOvember but I started on 15mg. I looked for advice from my GP about starting back on 5mg as I was basically tappering back up again but she thought I should go higher so I stayed on 15mg till the beginning of December, at this stage I had noticed I was definately better than Sept/Oct when I was falling apart and couldn't work or function, but I went down to 10mg as I was still very jittery and anxious, a bit teary, I was sleeping better but the day time was very all over the place.
I have had two weeks off for xmas, and it's been mixed. I enjoyed time with family and friends but had huge anxiety at times, I have physical aches and pains in my neck and back which are a normal symptom for me of anxiety (when lexapro was working these were gone). I met someone online during the summer, we chat on the phone and text most days, during the summer I enjoyed this bit of easy going flirtation and company. But when things messed up with the meds I became a nut! lol. Obsessing about messages being ignored or what was meant by a certain sentence or word. I felt abandoned if my calls weren't answered etc. and I mean totally abandoned like it was the end of the world!! Now even pre lexapro I would never react or feel like that. We are still chatting now, both of us are not in a position to be together seriously at the moment anyway (him because of a recent breakup/kids etc plus he lives far away from me and me because I am mentally insane at the moment lol) but I think I may have to tell him I can't chat anymore, because I'm confused as to whether my over reaction and feeling of rejection is my meds not kicking in yet or I'm actually just weird when it comes to men!
Anyway sorry for rambling lol. I increased to 12.mg three days ago. So that is 2 months of generic and basically withdrawal of lexapro for me. Followed by 15mg of Lexapro for one month, 10mg for one month and now 3 days of 12.5mg.
If I try to describe the last week I would say much better than Sept/Oct (but that's not hard) and absolutely nowhere near where I was mentally in the Summer :( I have huge rushes of anxiety and tears one minute and relaxed the next, I am meditating and breathing and exercising like a loon but not helping so far. Over Christmas I hated being alone, I had to go to friends houses most nights and beg people to come shopping or walking with me just not to be in the house. I try to read but can't even read a few lines without feeling jumpy. But there are definately moments where I feel relaxed and think Oh this might be it, I think I'm putting too much pressure on as the Lex worked within weeks for me originally and I so want to be back there! I'm giving it another month on 12.5mg and another on 15mg and if I'm not back on track after those 4 months I think I'll have to give up on Lex :(
Hope my experience is helpful, sorry for such a long reply! xx