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Posted 1/4/2015 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hi this is my first post and I am looking for some advice please...

I've suffered from panic attacks for over a year and anxiety levels are always sky high and I'm on edge mostly anticipating the next attack, I have got to the point where I avoid being home alone because I always seem to get panicky, I'm 30 and live with my boyfriend and take beta blockers daily
I have been to cognotive theraoy sessions and one to one but it's not helped, can anyone relate ?

Cheryl
Posted 1/4/2015 11:20 PM (GMT 0)
Me! I get most terrified when I'm home alone with my 2 year old son. It got to the point where I was put on xanax 3x daily to be able to stay calm and manage during the day. I've been cutting back on the xanax a little because I feel slightly more comfortable, but I still struggle. I made sure I was never alone basically all summer. I'm getting nervous about it again now because my mom would always come over if I needed her too, but she's leaving for 3 months so I'm very afraid of a relapse. I feel for you. It's a really awful fear to have.
Posted 1/4/2015 11:32 PM (GMT 0)
cheryl1984...I can relate 100%. I'm 30 years old as well and have an 8 1/2 month old daughter and I DREAD being home alone with her!! Ever since she was born my anxiety/health anxiety has hit new highs..I have all these new symptoms that I never had before I had her, and it's like everyday i'm positive i'm dying of something. My boyfriend has had the last 2 weeks off and it's been GREAT. He goes back to work tomorrow and i'm terrified. What sucks about his job is he has no set hours..he can work from 6am-midnight if it calls for it...which makes it a veryyyy long day for an anxious person to have an 8 month old! You're not alone though and we're all here for you! Trust me this forum is a god sent! Best of luck!
Posted 1/4/2015 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
Thank god more ppl like me! Lol I feel so alone, it's a difficult time for me at the moment stress wise, my mum has terminal cancer and it's so difficult to try and keep calm and not get stressed! I've only suffered like this for just over a year, it came on one day and hasn't left me, I wish people talked about it more, tomorrow is my day off work and my boyf leaves around 8:30 am so il be up and ready to leave the same time, as long as I'm out I'm safe if that makes sense?
Posted 1/5/2015 12:27 AM (GMT 0)
Out of curiosity do you guys recall what triggered your anxiety off to begin with? I had a difficult break up which came out of the blue, but I didbt havd my first panic until 5 months after we split so I can't be sure mine was because of that, I don't understand how I can live a normal life for 28 years and then start to suffer from anxiety
Posted 1/5/2015 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome Cheryl!

I can also relate! I hate the nights when my girlfriend has to work and I'm stuck at home by myself. Some nights I can focus on the news or reading or something but some nights it can be extremely tough. There have been some rough nights where I almost drove to the hospital or even called an ambulance; I'm mostly terrified of something severe happening and not being anyone around to help or get me help. As some others have talked about in another thread, I've found that wine/any other sort of drink can really calm me down. I'm sure that's not the best practice in the world, but it works for me.

As far as triggers, I've been trying to figure mine out for some time. I lost an aunt to a heart attack in April of this year; in May I went to the doctor worried about a heavy/fast pulse. They did an EKG and blood tests at that time and told me I was fine. I didn't really worry about it again until early October, which is when I had a nightmare that I was having a heart attack. I woke with a racing pulse and since then I have been in super scanner anxiety mode. I have been to the ER once, a cardiologist, and my GP since then, and have gotten clean bills of health from all (based on EKG, blood work, stress EKG). I am now also seeing a therapist to try to get this under control. Like you, I am also 30 (not for long, 31 in less than a month sad ), and this has been a major pain in the ass, as I never had any issue with anxiety in my life before this. My therapist seems to think that losing my aunt might have set things in motion; family history worries me as I also lost an uncle and my grandfather to heart attacks. All happened over 60 years old I believe, and all were in extremely poor health.

Rest assured, you are not alone here!
Posted 1/5/2015 12:56 AM (GMT 0)
I always imagine myself when I'm home running out if our flat and shouting for help from strangers, i so badly want to face it but when I'm in a panic attack I'm begging for it to go away, I don't drink alcohol as I found for me it makes me feel more panicky and sick and since feeling like this I've also developed a phobia of being sick, it's a never ending nightmare and I feel I think people think I'm a hypochondriac but like you say you really belive something bad will happen, I am considering joining church to see if praying helps
Posted 1/5/2015 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
Cheryl i've always had anxiety and health anxiety to an extent...even as a kid I remember watching movies with people dying of things and I thought I was going to get it too. But it all got so much worse after I had my daughter...I don't know if hormones triggered it, stress, not enough sleep...I really don't know. But it's gotten so bad that sometimes I just go sit in the ER parking lot just because it makes me feel better being that close in case something happened. I don't even like showering anymore (and showering use to be my stress-free, relaxing time) because all I think is What if something happens in the shower and I can't get dressed fast enough to get to the ER?? It's all so sick and twisted!! I've been to the ER about 10 times the last 5 months thinking I was having a heart attack, stroke, breathing issues, etc. I don't know how it got this bad but it's like it snowballed so fast. I just want peace of mind again, and to be fun and carefree like I use to be
Posted 1/5/2015 1:56 AM (GMT 0)
I'm suffering from this too. I have two kids 2 & under and have been panicking about being alone wth them. I'm scared to death that something is going to happen to me and no one will be with them until my husband gets home. It's gotten worse in the past couple weeks and I constantly feel like I'm on the brink of a panic attack.
Posted 1/5/2015 2:04 AM (GMT 0)
For me the trigger was hormones (IVF treatments) and I also believe my subconscious was telling me that I was not actually ready for the additional responsibility of another child. I also believe now that God allows panic in my life for a reason.

Anyway, doctors say that panic shows its ugly face during or near major events in your life. College, marriage, death, buying a home, times of extreme pressure, etc. I'm sure a bad break up counts!
Posted 1/5/2015 2:19 AM (GMT 0)
My daughter is your age and when she was a child watching the movie Home Alone triggered this anxiety for her
Posted 1/5/2015 3:03 AM (GMT 0)
I also fear being home alone. Everyone goes back to their routine tomorrow and I feel stressed. I have things planned to keep occupied but it is going to be so cold this week I'm in Canada. We will all be fine! We will!
Posted 1/5/2015 3:19 AM (GMT 0)
I've always been an anxious person but didn't start having really bad panic attacks until last year (age 35). My trigger is my six year old son who was diagnosed with epilepsy when he was 5. It's difficult for me to be home alone with him bc I'm worried he's going to have a seizure.

It's terrible that the thing I love the most scares me the most also.

As far as how we can go so long living a normal life and then just one day start panicing. I believe life is stressful and every piece of stress piles on us and bends us a little. Then one day we break. The next step is putting the pieces back together.
Posted 1/5/2015 6:11 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Cheryl and welcome!

As you can see, you are not alone! You have found a great place of understanding and encouragement. ;)

Keep posting, reading and do take time to check out our Resources here full of great self-help ideas at the top of our main page.

Keep using your skills learned thus far, and pick up some new ones suggested here. We are all working towards the common goal of feeling our best, and support is key!

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 1/5/2015 8:43 AM (GMT 0)
Thankyou everyone for your replies, feels great to hear your stories and not feel so alone , glad I found this forum, I'm from uk and think this is American site?
Posted 1/5/2015 10:51 AM (GMT 0)
I'm American but have no idea where this site originated.

To add to your OP, when I'm under heavy anxiety and not on my medication, I also hate being alone. Nothing is wrong with the apartment, but the disturbing thoughts that creep up will get to you when you're not distracted. You might want to look into going to the doctor and getting some medication to get your anxiety under control.
Posted 1/5/2015 11:02 AM (GMT 0)
It varies, I avoid being alone as much as I can, but this morning I managed fine for 2 hours and kept busy, I am on 80mg slow release beta blockers to help me but it only prevents my heart racing
Posted 1/5/2015 12:43 PM (GMT 0)
My fear of being alone is huge today and I have no safe person anymore, so I started my morning on my meds. I'm just praying today goes by fast.
Posted 1/5/2015 1:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cheryl

I can relate to how you feel. My very first panic attack was triggered by taking a drug which was the worst decision of my life. I ended up in A&E and have struggled with panic attacks ever since.

Like you, I try to avoid being alone because I convince myself I'm going to have a heart attack every day and need people around me to call an ambulance if it happens... Silly I know. I'm on beta-blockers too, which ones are you on? Mine are Propranolol 10mg but don't seem to do much for me.

I'm also in the UK, think there's a few of us on here but mainly US I think :)

Btw, welcome! Always get loads of support on here :)
Posted 1/5/2015 4:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cheryl,

It is great that you managed well through your morning! Well done!

I hope that your day continued to go well, and that you are enjoying a nice evening (about to be dinner time for you, I am calculating?)

To answer your question, yes, this is an American based sight...but we have members from all over the globe!

Again, welcome, and check out our Resources (link below) and post often.:)

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206



S.C.

Posted 1/5/2015 5:53 PM (GMT 0)
Mine are propranol 80mg , they are good but I noticed I felt sick sometimes when I took them in the morning so now I take just before bed and has helped with side effects, I was told by gp they are non addictive but recently I lowered dose and gp put me on a different kind of beta blocker which was fast acting but also fast wearing off they were 40mg, I begged the pharmacist to give me my old prescription back ! I was so so edgy and woke up in the middle of the night and debated whether I ring up a and e because I felt my chest pounding and thought was having a heart attack, it's so frightening and I feel people don't understand like unless they too feel the same because it's something I would have thought you can shrug off before I'd suffered from it myelf, I flew to Malaysia alone before I'd had attacks with no worry and now I can't go into a shop by myself, it's sad
Posted 1/6/2015 10:07 AM (GMT 0)
You sound an awful lot like me! haha. Yours must be a lot stronger than mine because I don't feel any affects at all other than my heart rate slowing slightly. I can see why the longer lasting ones would be better for relief! I was in A&E on Thursday night because of my chest pounding and thought it was a heart attack!
Do you have panic attacks every day? I know you said you've been to therapy and it doesn't work but maybe try seeing someone else? There is no quick fix cure for anxiety, I realised that recently :(
Posted 1/6/2015 7:57 PM (GMT 0)
Yes very similar stories lol I would say my actual panic attacks happen every few months but I avoid doing a lot that would put me in a panic situation so life is dull, I get a rush of heat in my body, sweaty hands and feel like I am going to die regular but I wouldn't class them in my head as panics , they are say a level 2 but my actual panic attacks are horrific and a level 10 where I feel like I want to die because it's to much and makes me feel nausea, I get them every couple of months, it's the fear of having them I get every few days, how about you? I tried therapy, hypnotherapy also but medication works for me but I want to come off the beta blockers
Posted 1/7/2015 10:09 AM (GMT 0)
I tend to do the same, avoid situations which will cause anxiety.. On a daily basis I get 'anxiety attacks' not so much full blown panic.. Mine start with the heat too and I get tingles everywhere and my pulse starts racing. If I can talk myself out of it at that stage then it's not so bad but most of the time I can't and I end up convincing myself I'm having a heart attack and I'll die, then we have full blown panic... Great isn't it!

I'm going to start therapy again soon, only went twice last year and stopped going which was probably a mistake! Hoping to stick at it this time because I think it's the only way I'll be able to get off the meds eventually
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