Posted 2/4/2015 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
Well I'll give my story I guess from beginning to now, but will try to keep it semi short for those with OCD lol.
First off, let me say I am truly saddened to see that skitt passed away :( She was an amazing lady and though it is good to know she is no longer in pain and suffering, she was truly a blessing to so many people.
My story.... This all began Nov 1st 2013. I woke up after taking the kids trick or treating the night before and had a horrible case of a stomach bug "i thought". After several days of not getting any better, I decided to go to the dr. Normally, this is a good thing, but this dr was a MORON! He listened to my little thing of how i got sick, was losing weight, had a bad cough, etc and spouted off at the mouth "You probably have lung cancer". Now mind you, being that I was turning 40 in November, though slim, the chances of cancer was there, so I automatically went into FEAR mode.. forget the fight or flight, this was total and extreme FEAR!.. He didn't bother to run any tests or x-rays or anything to "confirm his diagnosis". Instead, gave me some acid reflux meds and sent me on my way. So I did what MOST do now-a-days, and confided in Dr Google. Grant it, I was obliterated at the even mere thought that I might have lung cancer at age 40. I had no issues prior to this instantaneous sickness over night so I was highly confused (being that I have been in the medical field for quite some time and was above average smarts when it comes to medical stuff). After going on with the sickness and a back and forth or starting to feel better to back being sick, a myriad of things happened in my life. My job closed down, lost our house, my wife had TWO miscarriages (she got pregnant the first time, lost it at 5.5 weeks, got pregnant 2 weeks later, and lost it at 13.5 weeks), and our finances due to my job shutting down were getting extremely tight even after losing our house. Finally, I gave in and went to see an internal medicine dr Jan 13th of 2014, whom immediately admitted me into the hospital with severe dehydration and a complicated upper respiratory infection. After 3 days in the hospital, I began to feel better and began eating again. I explained I was still having that "heavy chest" feeling, and my right side into my back was killing me. Thus I figured it was gallbladder related. After 2 ct scans, a HIDA scan, x-ray, 2 upper endoscopies, and a lower endoscopy, as well as I was tested for Cushings, HIV, every "colitis" you can think of, and a ton of other tests for what they were calling the "white horse", they finally found that my gallbladder was inflammed on the back side invisible to the CT scan and was almost completely blocking my bile duct. An emergency surgery was performed and they removed my gallbladder. Went home 2 days later, and was eating everything under the sun you could put in front of me. Outside of some minor incision pain, I felt GREAT! UNTIL, that saturday, when my appetite out of the blue went POOOOOOF!. After not being able to eat anything for 2 weeks, and dropping to 115lbs (mind you I am 6'5), I was RE-admitted into the hospital on failure to thrive as they were scared my body was going to start "eating" my heart for energy. They finally concluded after several more tests and my GI dr insisting on me talking to a psych dr for evaluation that I was depressed and had severe anxiety. (Well DUH, telling a guy he has lung cancer isn't exactly celebration news). They put me on Remeron (by my request), also had me on klonopin AND ativan (as needed) for my anxiety. I was released from the hospital a week later. I had been on the meds for about 14 days and I called my psych dr and told him I was taking myself OFF the klonopin and would keep the ativan as needed but I was a walking freaking zombie taking the remeron, klonopin AND ativan all together. I was released the second time from the hospital around Jan 29th and by Feb 14, I had stopped taking the klonopin and the ativan. I started some counseling sessions with a therapist and after about 6 sessions I stopped those too. I was still having anxiety, though I felt like I was starting to come around a little bit. I had put on some weight again and was up to about 130lbs and started feeling better. (Oh by the way, after my surgery, they thought I had developed a pulmonary embolism, so they did a lung CT Scan and said my lungs were AMAZINGLY healthy, especially for someone that has been a smoker since age 11) Upon receiving that, that tremendously helped with my health anxiety, BUT now I was having serious digestive issues. I did call the dr that told me I had lung cancer and had a few choice words with him, which I won't go into, but I will say I felt better after saying what I had to say to him lol.... anyways.. after several months of even more testing, and about 20 different drugs, I was diagnosed with IBS. Knowing IBS isn't a "deadly" disease, though it can FEEL like you are dying sometimes, and it can be extremely painful and debilitating, but it doesn't cause other issues, it's more of an annoyance. I finally realized, there is NOTHING I nor the dr's can do when it's time for me to leave this earth. I finally gave up on the worry because the worry doesn't help and no matter how much I tried to stop it, sooner or later, we ALL die and I was doing nothing but making myself and my family miserable. The health anxiety went away and the depression along with it. Though I still suffer from IBS (mine is what they call spastic IBS, meaning my muscles from my throat to my colon do not contract in the right progression as they are supposed to, so it is quite painful and feels like a snake is lose in your bowels, I have returned to about as normal of a life as one could ask for. I still take Remeron (which I will probably die taking this med. In MY opinion, it is one of the BEST meds especially for depression, you could ever take. The main side effects of it are drowsiness (which is stronger at the lower doses) and weight gain (which I'm still gaining weight THANK GOD!) I am now up to 155lbs and hope to gain another 20-30lbs. I take Librax for the spasms, which is like a valium for your digestive tract. Librax has Librium in it, which is the drug that valium was derived from, so it is very long lasting and very mild. So this helps with the spasms, PLUS it adds a little extra kick for anxiety (which also affects IBS). And I take omeprazole in the mornings for helping control the acid reflux. I have ultimately been able to go back to work full time and though i feel the anxiety devil creeping in once in a while, i just remind myself, i beat it once, and i can beat it again. The flight or fight mechanism we all share with anxiety is what KEEPS the anxiety going. I'll be more than happy to discuss the other med's they had me try and why I specifically asked for Remeron if anyone wants that discussion. Sorry it's lengthy, but that's my story :)