Feeling frustrated

As most of you know if you've read my posts lately, I've been struggling with the worst bout of anxiety, particularly health anxiety, that I've had in years. I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself here, but after a successful stress test last year, and clean blood work, I can't get my head past being so sure I've got heart issues, namely because of jaw twinges, short of breath sometimes and increased skipped beats. I went back to dr on Tues and she strongly recommended counseling and yoga and keeps saying "you're healthy". She's weaning me off of an 8 yr dependence on vicodin (not prescribed by her) and increased my Prilosec for one month. I'll go for a scope if stomach doesn't settle down.
I made it through a six hour shift at work yesterday with help from my Ativan and went over to my son's last night for a visit. For the second time in a few hours I was told I "look tired". I was having lots of skipped beats and those darned twinges and just felt that disassociation thing. Here I sat with my adorable 2 month old grandson in my lap and fed him and wanted so much to feel like me and "be there". My son said I seemed quiet. We watched TV for a bit then all went to sleep. I am just so tired of not feeling like myself, of health anxiety, and now affecting how I appear to others. It scares me to think of how much control the vicodin has had on my life and now that I'm down to one pill a day, where is all this going? It doesn't make me feel good that those close to me notice I look tired or am quiet.I do totally withdrawal when anxiety spikes. I know I'm rambling but had to get this out. Thanks for listening to me.

Thanks trader. I hear ya. I would be so much better off if my head listened to what my ears heard. I remember being told when I was younger that I was acting like a hypochondriac. When cancer and heart issues run on both sides of the family and you have anxiety on top of it...NOT FUN!

SweetPanda actually I totally feel the same lately, I understand you very well.
I don't know where this darned thing is going really. I am so upset about my precious days which are wasted with my worries.

Even though my therapist says that this is a temporary period and will come to an end, I can't feel positive about it.

I really do hope you feel better soon.

I know how you feel panda. It is so hard to go through day after day feeling like this. I went out with my husband and some others last night and it was such a struggle. I would feel the rush and jelly legs just like you. Kept thinking I was going to pass out. Weird head pains = aneurysms/stoke. It's so exhausting. I just want to enjoy my life. Sending you hugs and strength. Hope your night gets better.

So sorry panda. Yes we all know that feeling and words can't really describe it to our loved ones who have never experienced it. that burning feeling then vibrations then overwhelming sadness feeling followed by crying. It's horrible. Time for some relaxation videos for me. I also had bad day. . I sure hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

i can relate to how you feel. i get so frustrated and upset with the daily anxiety and panic attacks. Hang in there.

did anyone think some of your symptoms could be due to vicodin withdrawal? still cbt and mindfullness and meditation can help you through the symptoms