Severe Anxiety Disorder

I'm a 27 year old woman who has been dealing with severe anxiety since I was 23. It all began when my heart began skipping more frequently than usual. I'd have runs of PVCs that would be as frequent as 10 or more per minute and I would also have runs where I'd have them all day, on and off. The sick feeling of panic inside was overwhelming. I was put on beta blockers and calcium channel blockers, but they did nothing to stop my PVCs or to calm me down. I felt like I was going to be stuck living a life where I was in constant fear. I dealt with it for a few years, but those years were terrifying. Each day was just a waiting game for the next pvc and panic attack. In November of 2013, my doctor decided that Paxil should be my next step. I didn't resist even though I had my reservations about the pill. I was in dire need of help. I could barely peel myself off of the couch because fear had literally taken hold of me and chained me to the safety of my couch. The day I was given Paxil was the day I had hope that I would be able to live a carefree life again. Slowly but surely the Paxil got me back on my feet and I was able to breathe again. I was able to live my life the way I had always hoped I could. Well, that blissful feeling lasted about 6 months. At that point I was on 30 mg. I started to feel weird, like the Paxil was turning against me. I started getting withdrawal symptoms even though I was still on the medicine. I realized I had to get off of it. So in September of 2014 I started a slow and painful journey of weaning myself off of Paxil. Over the course of 5 months, I felt sick, tired, suicidal and gained 40 pounds. It was a horrible time in my life. The craziest part of the experience was feeling suicidal. I have never been suicidal nor am I suicidal now that I am off Paxil but for some reason I became a totally different person. I never felt like I was a danger to myself but I could, for those 5 months, understand why someone would want to escape this world. I made my husband aware of my dark thoughts and he helped me through it. I was one of the lucky ones. I came off Paxil successfully without harm to myself or my life. I am a month and a half Paxil free. I feel like I am getting better and better each day. I'm slowly losing the weight I gained. But I do realize that my anxiety issue is still out in full force. I take clonazespam on the bad days and that seems to be getting me through for now. I really hope to stay off daily meds to control my anxiety but I realize that may not happen. I am taking it day by day. If it weren't for the clonazepam to snap me out of my attacks, I would be in big trouble. I seriously don't see how I would be able to function. I am going to see a psychiatrist soon. I have been waiting for the Paxil to clear my system before talking with a professional about the best options for me. Paxil may be the answer for some but for me it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I am hopeful that I will find the right path for me that will lead to a happy life. I would love to hear how some of you deal with your anxiety.

Hi RW

First of all welcome to the forum I am pleased you have found us.

Sorry to hear you are having problems with anxiety I hope your pdoc can prescribe something for you to help ease your symptoms. Unfortunately suicidal thoughts can be a side effect of medication which is a bit strange when they are supposed to help you with these kind of thoughts..

Therapy really is the best way to get things back to a manageable level so I hope this works well for you.

Keep posting

Hibee

Hello friend,
I appreciate your honesty concerning your trials and tribulations. Anxiety has always been a part of my life, but it reared its ugly head last year (health anxiety). This is something I struggle with everyday now. I am on medication zoloft, wellbutrin, and ativan, and I am seeing a therapist. All of which help. Yoga has helped me too. Religion has helped. However I constantly think these thoughts…for example: I have cancer, I will die and leave my child motherless. I lost my dad at a relatively young age due to cancer, so my anxiety stems from that. Its pretty awful. This whole experience is not easy for me. I will be a nurse practitioner soon, which doesn't help because it probably adds to my health anxiety. I am 35 yrs old, work out, eat healthy however these thoughts are pretty irrational and pervasive. I notice that some days are easier than others. It waxes and wanes for me. I am completely different person now from who I was, which is frightening to me. I just want to feel normal. So I feel your pain, this whole anxiety thing is not easy.

Natasha