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I don't know what to do. I feel my stress is hurting me.

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Posted 1/19/2014 7:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, this is my first time on a forum. I have always tried to keep a positive attitude with my life, but recently I have been feeling stuck. I got moved to graveyard shift at my job about five months ago. At first I loved it. No one bothered me, and I got a lot of work done. Then about four and a half months ago I started college. I decided to go to an online school due to my work schedule. I had issues getting to a computer every day as I didn't have one of my own, but I had every intention of buying one with my grant money. I still have not seen the money and fafsa gave the money to the school in August. I live on a cat rescue with four men and we are all paycheck to paycheck. about a week ago, I caught a regular upper respiratory bug. At first I was getting better, then I had to get rushed to the hospital because my chest muscles had inflamed so much I had trouble breathing. The doctor gave me some toradol and adavand. People told me it was an anxiety pill. I have always had a rough life and stress is nothing new. So why am I feeling weighed down and achy now? I have also had diarrhea for almost a week now. I just started taking keopectate this morning, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I feel lost right now and with this shift, I really don't have anyone to talk to. I am also worried because I have not had an appetite for the last seven days. Every time I eat, I am just running to the bathroom. Any advice is appreciated. I just feel alone right now.
Posted 1/19/2014 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
It sounds like your entire system is run down! you need to go to the doctor! if you can't afford that, go to a free clinic or to the emergency room. You are not getting better and they need to find the root cause. Your anxiety may be a part of it, but then again, it may not. You are under a lot of stress and sometimes it is hard to tell if the stress is causing the illness or the illness is causing the stress. Sometimes it is also a 2 way street! Nonetheless, you really need to see a doctor. perhaps being around cats all the time is not good for you right now. I don't know. Check in with us and let us know how you are doing!
hugs!
janet
Posted 1/19/2014 7:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome!

I agree with JL. Your first step should be a trip to get thoroughly checked out by your doctor, to rule out any other physical reasons for the way you have been feeling. You will want to get a definitive diagnoses, before proceeding in treating your symptoms as anxiety

In the meantime, check out our Resources here to try some anxiety management skills. It is likely that you are experiencing the effects of stress, and these should be helpful, if you practice them daily.

Self Help sites with breathing/relaxation exercises instructions

Panic attack relief exercises:

http://www.healthyplace.com/

http://www.stress-relief-exercises.com/

http://www.ehow.com/video_4405003_breathing-exercises-panic-attacks.html

http://www.psybersquare.com/anxiety/panic_relax_I

 

Keep posting with us, and let us know how it goes with your doctor.

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat

Posted 1/20/2014 5:07 AM (GMT 0)
I actually have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I live in a small town where you have a really hard time scheduling an appointment within a decent amount of time. I had to make the appointment almost a month ago. I just didn't foresee all these problems to pile up. Although I did have a sit down with my boss last night and pinpointed that I am running away from my problems. Originally, it was unconscious, and I thought I was alright, then it kept piling on. I think getting the bug I got kind of paved the way for stress to take over with my immune system compromised. In fact, once I realized that I am the one causing my problems by running away, my diarrhea calmed down to an almost stand still. I am also getting my appetite back. I know that this isn't an overnight recovery, but working always was a good distraction for getting my thoughts straight. It is a highly labor intensive job and I find building up a sweat helps to take away some of my stress.
Thank you for responding. I honestly didn't expect a reply. And in the meantime, I can practice some of the stress techniques. When I am done with my appointment tomorrow, I will let you know how it went. It is kind of nice being able to talk like this. Again, thank you for listening to my troubles.
Posted 1/20/2014 5:24 AM (GMT 0)
This is an active community with lots of members who understand just how you are feeling. The specifics of our stories may vary...but we all know what it is to go through anxiety/symptoms.

Yes, do let us know how your appointment goes tomorrow.

I hope that you get the answers that you need!

S.C.
Posted 1/20/2014 2:21 PM (GMT 0)
Please let us know how your appointment goes today!

We'll be there with you in spirit.




M.
Posted 1/21/2014 12:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, first off I would like to say that I am a whole lot better now. I am finally trying to think things through and get some semblance of a hold on my life. The first step was telling myself that it was perfectly alright to have fun if I want to. I have been worrying so much about what could happen, that I lost track of what was happening. My appointment went just fine. The main focus was trying to diagnose the major problems. He ordered xrays on both my knees( as I am pigeon toed and my mom never took me to a doctor as a child for my knocked knees) he said that I may have lost a little cartilage in my right one. Recently I would be working and the right knee would "pop" painfully. He also ordered xrays on my spine because he is worried all the heavy lifting is causing damage. My cough is almost gone, so he told me that at this point it would be best to just let the bug finish its course. Tonight is also the first night all week that I had a solid poo(sorry a little awkward about that one) I am going to wait on the anxiety issue right now because I have been trying to work them out on my own. If it gets worse, then I will bring it up to my doctor. Sorry it took so long. I got home from my appointment and immediately fell asleep. Then woke up to smoke in the house. Someone left a boiling chicken on the stove. Everyone is alright, just a little on edge now.
Posted 1/21/2014 3:42 PM (GMT 0)
Okay, sounds like a good appointment. I am glad that you addressed some important things, and are starting to feel better.:)

As far as working on the anxiety on your own...self-help can be very effective.

Using the available tools in the Resources here (main page, 1st post) will be very effective if you practive daily. The above links that I posted are taken right out of our Resources...and there is more to be explored there.

Keep talking with us as well. Support is key!

Talk to you soon,

S.C.
Posted 2/6/2014 12:00 PM (GMT 0)
First, I apologize for the late reply. I got my xrays done and did a follow up. My doctor found two slipped discs in my back and bone damage on my right knee. He gave me trama-dol and he wants me to do six months of physical therapy. My first appointment is actually at seven-thirty this morning ( it is four in the morning right now). I will admit, I am a little nervous, but I have high hopes that this will help me. I have been telling myself to be positive and keep my attitude bright. I find my mood has improved a little the more I just try to enjoy the little things. I know I have a long way to go, but I feel like I am taking a step in the right direction.
Posted 2/6/2014 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
Great job on getting the answers that you need...and pro-actively looking after your physical and mental health.

Talk with us whenever you need anxiety support...and keep us posted on your progress.

Good luck with the PT today, it will be a great step in feeling better.:)

S.C.
Posted 3/27/2014 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
Well I am still in pt. So far my knee is doing great, but my back is taking its time to heal. I was put in the hospital on Tuesday for what felt like a heart attack. I later found out it was an anxiety attack. My store manager keeps pushing me both physically, mentally, and emotionally. I decided that I may need anxiety pills in order to properly handle dealing with the constant threats. I don't appreciate how I am being singled out because I am a hard worker. I try my best every day so they always push me to go past my limits. Now I would not have a problem with that if not for the fact that they feel that motivating me best is threatening my job every time. How should I handle this?
Posted 3/27/2014 4:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hello K.,

I am sorry to hear of your attack.:( I know how frightening that is. I am going to re-post these effective self-help coping exercises for you. If you practice them daily, they will help, while you are deciding with your doctor about the possibility of medication.

Self Help sites with breathing/relaxation exercises instructions

Panic attack relief exercises:

 

http://www.healthyplace.com/

http://www.stress-relief-exercises.com/

http://www.ehow.com/video_4405003_breathing-exercises-panic-attacks.html

http://www.psybersquare.com/anxiety/panic_relax_I

 
As far as your job situation goes, I would suggest this.  Ask for a written job description that includes all the responsibilities that are expected of you and your postition.

Therefore, if you are being asked in the future to go beyond what has been outlined in your contract...you can choose to accept the extra challenge, or politely remind your employers that you can not be expected to do more than the full load of work that you were hired to do.

Wishing you the best...keep posting! :)

S.C.

 

Posted 4/30/2014 4:12 PM (GMT 0)
Well it was going alright for a couple of weeks, but then my boyfriend overdrew his bank account last week, the septic tank died and I just found out the only other person working in the house is planning on moving out. That is almost $800 lost a month. I am trying to keep my stress down, but it is much more different as the days go by. I know talking won't solve my problems, but I appreciate your listening. I have trouble talking to people about my problems sometimes. I hate pushing my problems on other people.
Posted 4/30/2014 5:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hi K.C.

I am sorry to hear of the recent difficulties that you are going through.:(

Financial worries are one of the top stressors that people experience, so know that you are not alone!

...and...

...actually, talking about your current circumstances and concerns is a really big help.

It may not tangibly solve the problem, but it allows you to lower your stress...and therefore makes resolving the issue easier to some extent.

Take it one step at a time. Get the bank account in order as quickly as possible. See about getting the repairs done to your septic system...and put an add out for a new housemate.

I hope that these issues have a quick and postive resolution!

Use the coping skills that are posted above, they will keep you working towards feeling better...even in spite of some stressful events!

Talk to you soon,

S.C.

Posted 4/30/2014 5:17 PM (GMT 0)
KinokoChan,

I am sorry you are having a tough time financially - so let me see if I can help a bit.

First of all, does your boyfriend live with you? If not than his overdraft is his problem so you can let go of that worry.

I suspect you have one roommate living with you that pays $800.00 toward your bills and rent? You posted the "only other person living in the house" - how many people live with you that contribute toward expenses? 

Do you own the house?  The owner of the home is the one that must take care of the septic tank. 

When I was much younger I lived from paycheck to paycheck which is a risky way to live so I had to give up things I bought on a whim - the brand new car, eating out because I love to, no color TV - now there I have just shown my age. cool

Are you back to work?  If not, do you have disability insurance to cover the long extended time away from your job.

Perhaps making a list of what you must pay and what you maybe can get along without that would allow you to bring in some cash would help you?

When we get stuck in a poor financial situation it is hard not to be anxious.  Do your best to not use plastic to pay for things as the bills can grow like wild flowers.

You recognize you have a problem and I admire you for that!  Keep yourself busy coming up with unique ways to get out from underneath your problems and the anxiety will decrease.  Sometimes you have to make tough choices but with time you will get ahead. 

SC posted some great resources for you.

I wish you peace and know coming here and talking with us is always an option when you are feeling overwhelmed as most of us have been in your shoes at one time.

I am posting a link to an article you may find helpful.................take away from it whatever you choose and remember I am not judging you in any way.

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-first-steps-away-from-paycheck-to-paycheck-living/

Kindly,

Kitt

 

Posted 3/11/2015 11:46 AM (GMT 0)
It has been a while. The problem roommate was kicked out for hurting my boyfriend. There is only one card for my boyfriends account now, so we have not had an overdraft issue in a while. Even the finances are a bit more manageable. I am in athough. I feel like I am being left behind. Graveyard shift is still hard. I miss out on things with other people. I am scared of something but I don't know what.
My boyfriend teaches martial arts and I am one of his students. But I am the only girl he has taken on and he has a student that is newer than me that he is teaching more than me. Him and my other roommate act like they are keeping something from me. I feel weak and alone. I have no one to talk to because I feel that I sound silly. I have not been on here because I have been afraid to admit that I need to talk to someone. I know that I have been unconsciously shutting people out and I don't know why. Everyone else have a life, friends, a place that they hang out at. But it is on the one day I work and everyone else is off. I want to tell people that I am afraid, that I am not strong enough to deal with being alone. But when I get a chance, I can't speak. Even now as I write this, I can't help but cry at my own weakness and humiliation.
My mom has trust issues to tthe point of if you question her even once, over the smallest thing, then you are automatically against her. I don't want to be like that. I want to have friends that I can trust. I am afraid of myself. Of what I feel and don't feel. I used to be strong, the only thing that upset me was upsetting other people. I had confidence and courage and I genuinely enjoyed life. I don't know what happened, but in five years, my personality has changed to something I despise. I look at myself and can't recognize what I was to what I am. Every time I try to change myself, I feel like something is holding me back. I am afraid that if I change, I will be worse than what I am now. So I am lost. I am caught in a loop in my mind. I am even pushing my boyfriend away. When he upsets me, I blow it off. When he wants to spend time with me, I have to sleep.
My mother is not helping either. She is always telling me that all mydecisions are wrong. She can't support anything that I do. Ever since I started dating my boyfriend, I have had to defend him. He has been nothing but nice to her and all she does is puthe him down. She doesn't trust that he won't hurt me. I want to stop talking to her, but she doesn't have anyone but me that she trusts anymore. I fear that if I stop talking to her, she may snap. She threatened to shoot everyone because I went to breakfast with her mother. She makes it often enough, I am not sure she is even sane anymore. She causes about 70% of the stress in my life.
I got a lot off my chest for now. I know that there is more, but I think I said too much to begin with. If I don't though, I am afraid for my sanity.
Thank you
KinokoChan
Posted 3/11/2015 4:49 PM (GMT 0)
Hi K.C. and welcome back!

It is good to hear from you.:) It sounds like there has been a mix of postives and challenges lately for you...

I am glad to hear that your roomate issue has been resolved, and that your living situation is again safe! That is a big relief, yes?

Also glad to hear that your finances are more stable at this time...that is another stress factor lessened.:)

However, I am sorry to hear of the struggles with feeling included, the tendency to isolate...and the continuing issues with your mom that are troubling you.

I think that it is very hard to work odd hours as your job requires. It is natural to feel that you are left out when others are socializing, and you have a shift! So accepting that this is just part of your work situation for now should help. Know that it is not YOU, but rather your schedule causing these issues.

Perhaps trying to schedule time with friends on your time off...even if it is just meeting for a coffee could help? Or are there people at work with similar schedules that you could reach out to?

As far as dealing with the negative feelings that come about and make you want to isolate...we have a great resource right here! The link below is for a really effective on-line therapy program that teaches how to reverse those negatives and turn them into productive and postive thoughts. This in turn, improves mood and reduces anxiety and depression!

Free on-line CBT programs:

http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome



Please give it a try and see how you feel after completing some of the modules.:)

Finally, as far as your relationship with your mom goes...

...you many need to set some boundaries in order to keep yourself healthy. Setting parameters is not the same as cutting someone completely out of your life...but rather choosing to limit the time spent with them. Making it clear what you will and won't tolerate in terms of their behavior towards you will ensure that you stay shielded from any toxic interactions...and ultimately results in a healthier you and a healthier realtionship!

Wishing you the best in all of these circumstances...keep up hope of healing and recovery.

Talk with is anytime you need support and understanding...we are here for you.:)

S.C.

Posted 3/12/2015 4:09 PM (GMT 0)
Well I lost my job today because of my mom. I worked for Walmart and she made me use my discount card and they fired me for it. I don't know what to do. I am afraid to tell my boyfriend and I don't want to disappoint him.I want to just tell mom how I feel or punch something. I am so upset. I almost had a panic attack
Posted 3/12/2015 4:18 PM (GMT 0)
K.C.,

I am sorry to hear this.:(

I do think that you very much need to tell your mom how you feel. In a constructive and firm way.

You likely need to limit your interactions with her.

She did not make you use your card at work...no one can make us do anything we choose not to do...

...but her influence on you is obviously not healthy.

I suggest that you cut some ties with her at this time, and work on the things that need attention to make your situation better for you now.

Wishing you much progress. Please consider going through the therapy link I posted above. I really think it will help you to take some positive steps forward!

Talk to you soon,

S.C.
Posted 3/29/2015 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
My closest friend had her mom(who has a hardware store that she has run for going on thirty years) hire me. He mom made it clear that it was temporary. I am happy to be working. I also forgot how much my friend just was there for me. I don't think she realizes that she has been helping me out of my funk. Adjusting back to daytime is easy sleep wise, but I am still hermitting myself. She has taken me to Vegas(which is about an hour from where we live) twice just to get away and have fun. My household doesn't like her though. My boyfriend had a bad experience with her mom and is automatically condemning her because of it. She has a lot of the same interests as my boyfriend, but he is being stubborn. I am not feeling stuck anymore and I have cut mom off a little. Working during the day helps in that. She feels the need to help me because some of my old coworkers decided to blame her and treated her poorly. I realize now that there was an ulterior motive with my firing as there have been about fifteen more sinice I have been gone. I am kind of relieved I was fired. I felt I was losing myself working there. I still have a long way to go, but now I feel I have the strength to fight for myself and what I need a little better now.
Posted 3/30/2015 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
K.C.

Sounds like some really positive changes for you lately!

Thanks for the update, and congrats on the new job!

I hope that things continue to go well, and perhaps your job will go permanent, or another good opportunity will come up in the near future!

Let us know how you are doing soon, and keep up the good work.;)

S.C.
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