Overwhelming guilt. Want to get out of myself.

Its been a rough few days. Maybe longer without me noticing.

My partner drinks quite a lot. Twice just over a week ago he came home and vomited everywhere, and i had to clean it up I had to call for medical advice the second time because he was vomiting what looked like blood. We live in one room (studio apartment) and i currently pay the rent as he is finishing his studies.

I have been under a lot of pressure recently. He went out and i knew he was drunk so i sent him a text saying he should stay at one of the rooms in the pub (its a hotel too) if he was drunk. He decided to come home anyway, and i told him to leave (the pub is only 2 streets away). I wanted to make sure he got a room ok, so i text to ask him - he called me - he had fallen in the street and smashed up his face - broke his tooth. I took him to A&E and had to miss work to be with him. His friends all think its terrible that i sent him away and that its all my fault.

I feel this overwhelming guilt, and its re-triggered this feeling of anxiety and panic in me that i haven't had for a while. I feel overwhelmingly that i am a terrible person and i don't know how to get away from myself.

Hi BC.,

I am sorry to hear of your current circumstance.:( It is a no win situation for you. If you do nothing, and allow your partner to come home to a haven and place to vomit and crash...you are enabling him and further destructive behavior.

So, responsibly, you send him on his own...and he falls and gets hurt.

I understand your guilt over this...but you must ask yourself...who ultimately caused the accident? Would you have not let him come home if he was acting like a healthy responsible adult? Of course not. You were simply RE-acting to his poor choice.

Have you considered contacting Al-Anon? You may get some insight about how to help your partner, without falling into the trap of the enabler role.

You both need help, so please reach out for the support you need.

...and lay down your burden of guilt. You did nothing wrong. This was a simple cause and effect...one that could have been avoided by your partner.

With support

S.C.

boxcastle,

He is his own keeper and you did nothing wrong. Tell his friends where they can stick it.

Welcome Femalethirtieszoloft, I'm happy to hear the Zoloft works for you and pray that the taper goes good and your anxiety won't come back. It's always nice to hear positive stories.

I left you a message on the depression forum on one of the post you replied too, but I'll tell you here too Femalethirtieszoloft. You are breaking the rules by posting the same thing on multiple threads in multiple forums, Just thought I would let you know. All you have to do is start your own topic and tell your story and that way more people will see it. You can go back and delete all your mulitple post before you get into trouble, is what I would do anyway. Again, welcome and sorry I know you are excited about no anxiety and I am soooooo happy for you but hate to see anyone get into trouble.