Setback help!

Hi there, I'm recently new to this site, but I wanted to give it a try.

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but I also have trouble with obsessive intrusive thoughts. Long story short, for a while I had a constant fear that I was going to hurt someone or myself. In reality, I couldn't hurt a fly. I'm a kind, gentle person. But these thoughts and images in my head come up of me doing terrible things, and they bring me no satisfaction or pleasure. They terrify me. However this has been going on for two years so far, and honestly I've been doing great! Trying to gain control over this thing has brought me out of my shell and allowed me to do lots of things to counter it. Currently I'm having a setback. Last night I had this horrible image in my head of dying brutally from self infliction. Let it please be known that I have NEVER attempted such a thing, nor do I want to. Alas these horrible thoughts get stuck in my head on repeat. I stopped myself from having a full blown panic attack since the thought upset me. My body was beginning to experience the minor physical forms, so I kind of sat patiently and waited them out. However coming out of it I felt incredibly gloomy, if not a slight depression from the exhaustion.

In the heat of the moment it suddenly felt really difficult to think of the helpful tips and methods that I've been doing over the years. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with setbacks? In my head I know it'll be fine, and that in a couple days things will pick up. I just hate feeling this gloom that sticks around after my anxiety gets out of control.

Hello there.

I think one of the biggest forms of help was knowing that I wasn't the only one having trouble with these things. O_o
If anything it has really become more irritating than anything. Just when you think you've got it down, it comes back. Luckily I've gotten it under my thumb to where it doesn't stay long, but I hate that waiting period, and it makes me dread being alone. Which sucks, since I'm kind of an introvert. xD

Precisely, at the most inappropriate times. I think the worst portion of it is the brain fog that seems to go with it. Even if the subject isn't on my mind it just becomes really hard to focus. It feels like I can't even see anything when it's in front of me.

My counsellor told me about a seventeen second rule. She explained that there's a theory that if the human brain can distract itself on an entirely different subject for seventeen seconds, the brain loses interest in the prior thought. The thought will still be there, but it loses its severity. That's been a big help for me. :) I try to keep my mind busy, as a creative person it can be a blessing and a curse sometimes. :P

Finn,

Intriguing rule. I'm so scatterbrained and ADD, I don't dwell for long. My therapist wonders if depression contributes to my lack of focus.

John,

My trouble definitely was engaging the thoughts far too often. They don't deserve attention, but from what I've learned (and I'm no professional by any means xD) ignoring them entirely isn't good either. At least in my experience. After figuring out what it was that caused triggers/fear and establishing my relationships genuinely with those thoughts (which definitely takes time) I understood that while these thoughts existed... they weren't genuinely part of who I was. I was always scared that if I thought about it too much, then the thoughts might appeal to me and I could lose control.

However no matter how hard I think about a giant pot of gold falling from the sky... it never happens. Therefore I am not any closer to being richer, than I am of losing my control.

After understanding my fears, and giving them a name... it was a lot easier to detach myself. I feel like no one knows you better than you do yourself. And if I have to sit and question 'would I really do that?' chances are I wouldn't. Everyone is capable, but not all are willing.

So while I do have my setbacks, I have MANY more moments where an intrusive thought comes up and I can just go, 'That is silly... that's not really a ME thing to do.' And then if it lingers, I try my best to do something FAR more interesting than brooding. :)

That's wonderful Scaredy, thank you for the advice and for the links.

I will be keeping them close for when I have my setbacks.

I am feeling much better already just from sharing.