Adult Bed Wetting and Night Sweats (worried for my fiance)

Hi...I really wasn't sure where to put this as it didn't really seem to fit into any categories listed (as I noticed a couple of other people with similar problems have found when posting) but there will hopefully be ok...

My fiance has, over the last year and a half, wet the bed about 3 times and has fairly severe night sweats most if not all nights. I also believe he has sleep apnea but this has not been diagnosed yet. He sweats quite a lot during the day but I wouldn't say ridiculously so.

The reason I have posted this here is because he has had many tests done at the doctors relating to the sweats and bed wetting and everything seems to have come back normal. I would say he is just bordering on normal weight and overweight but definitely not overweight...just a little extra around the tummy and hips but also has muscle...I suppose a wrestler type build.

He works as a police officer and has been doing this job for a little over a year. He has suffered from depression in the past and does get stressed out (especially from work) very easily and is quick to become defensive over a lot of things but on the whole I wouldn't say anything has really jumped out at me as being seriously wrong.

We now have waterproof coverings over the bed and pillows because of both the night sweats and bed wetting (not that the bed wetting is happening often but just to protect everything). I never get angry or frustrated with him over these things I try and be as kind and sensitive and caring about the subject as I can as I know he can't control it and it does really seem to get him down which really upsets me on the inside as well :(

It just seems to have happened out of the blue really as I remember when we first met there weren't any issues...although he was much more lean back when we first met...I don't know whether extra weight could have maybe brought on the sleeping issues...and it's a very sensitive subject to bring up as we have both suffered with eating disorders in the past..although his was more just limiting food rather unhealthily.

We are getting married this year, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with this beautiful, kind man and we are also trying for a baby :) I just want to know if anyone maybe has any advice or has maybe been in a similar situation...I'd really appreciated any opinions on this :)

Hi Hibee thanks for your reply :)

I definitely think he has some anxiety related stress at work he recently threw up at work in the bin next to his desk when he was in a severely stressful situation for him...but generally he is completely fine...iD say there are triggers...he said paperwork he doesn't yet understand for work is stressing him out.

He isn't on medication and has never been for anxiety or depression...i however have been on all kinds for depression and anxiety and i certainly remember the night sweats they were awful :/

I would want to say it's because of his job but it kind of happened just before he got into this line of work however it was in a transitional phase of his life work and other...we have been together 5 years and he moved in with me and my parents which is quite far away from where he used to live so I would think even that..being away from friend and family could take its toll...but he doesn't seem all that sad or upset or really phased...I know feelings can stay inside though.

To me its a mystery...just wish I could be inside his head sometimes really understand what might be going on if it is psychological :( there are a lot of 'mother issues' but with all that happened to him he is just such a sweet caring person...still it's got to play on his mind...

Hi Tanta,

Sorry to hear of your troubles. The bed wetting to me would be related to stress, probably from his job. I have no idea what a police officer has to go through, but i would imagine it could me mega-stressful at times. Also that you mentioned he got upset enough to vomit. I would really want to know what's going on with him on the nights when he wets the bed.

Sweating too can be a sign of high anxiety. Therapy has helped me so much in my life, I hope he will be open to trying that. There is nothing like being in the room with a good therapist and it all being about you for an hour. I think perhaps the police department may have someone on staff for therapy.

Good luck!
Love,
Rich

Tanti, i was just going to mention the close relationship between police and military, we want to be tough
and not let stress bother us but it always does. They teach us in the military that if we are in danger of being discovered and we need to do number 1 to just let it go, movement is how most people are discovered, after coming home from VN i had those dreams and they are so real, yes i p'ed on myself
but i didnt wake up, the incidents became less frequent and then just stopped. I wish he could get on a
small town police force with less stress. Money is not everything, Peace

Larry ***

Tanta,

Hellos and welcome! I am sorry to hear of your BF's challenges. You are a good and supportive partner for him...so feel good about reaching out here.

Two things before addressing the anxiety possibility.

One: Has he seen a eurologist? This would be a priority if not, as to rule out any medical reason for the enuresis (bed wetting).

Two: Does your BF drink alcohol as a regular habit? Drinking too much could account for both the night sweats and enuresis.

If you have ruled out the above...then, yes, I would suggest he address any anxiety that he is dealing with, and look into stress management techniques.

His job should provide such help for officers.

...and in the meantime, here is our self-help Resource Guide link:

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206

Wishing you both the best. Post with us anytime!

Scaredy Cat

Tanta,

Having one drink nightly would not account for this...I was referring to regular hard drinking...so he sounds fine in that regard.;)

I think I would proceed with asking his GP about a eurology referral if he/she thinks it a good idea...

...along with looking into an anxiety management strategy.

Wishing you the best, and inviting you both to keep posting.:)

S.C.