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Exposure is not helping as much as I would like

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Posted 7/9/2015 6:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,

I get anxious when I go out to lunch with my colleagues at work (this is among a few other things that causes me anxiety)
I have not giving up to anxiety yet and still go, although it is uncomfortable. Once I get my meal and start eating it, I feel a bit better. During the ride to the restaurant, I feel like everyone is having a good time and relaxed but I am anxious (comparing).
I have been doing this exposure for almost 9 months now and still get anxious, now at lower levels I did 9 months ago. Why does this exposure does not get rid of this nagging anxiety is the question I have? Can anyone else relate and give me so positive things I can do to help this?

Highly appreciate a response
Thank You
Lexa
Posted 7/9/2015 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
It may just be me being a bit dense, but are you saying your anxiety levels are lower than they were 9 months ago, or unchanged?

As to why it's not going away, anxiety is fuelled by self doubting thoughts. Comparing yourself to your colleagues on the ride over may be what is letting it linger. Immerse yourself in the conversations and focus on what is being said and your opinion of it, rather than comparing your state of being to those around you.
Posted 7/9/2015 6:42 PM (GMT 0)
Night, I did say that my anxiety is lower than it was 9 months ago doing these lunches. So I guess it is helping but it has not gone away. Some other anxieties have pretty much gone away.
Posted 7/9/2015 7:14 PM (GMT 0)
Lex,

Try to be patient with yourself and the process. ..

...this is a big project you are working on! It takes time, commitment and acceptance of where you are currently...as well as belief that you'll reach your goal of where you want to be! :)

The fact you are moving forward is what I would encourage you to focus on. This is indicative of success! !

Keep up the great work.:)

S.C.
Posted 7/9/2015 8:51 PM (GMT 0)
Lex - do like I do and avoid going to lunch with the gang. I work with some nice people but use lunch as a time to get away from them smhair

I'm all about the food....
Posted 7/9/2015 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
Steve,

You get anxious around a crowd at lunch time too?
Posted 7/9/2015 11:48 PM (GMT 0)
I've never been a fan of going to lunch with co-workers (when I worked).

You usually don't get paid for lunch, so it's really your personal time.

I used to use my lunch to eat a quick sandwich or whatever, and then go for a walk, or read. Sometimes I would go for a drive and rock out with some music therapy.

When you are with your co-workers all day, you never really get a break from work. A lot of people are fine with that, but I needed a little down time.

I used excuses that I had personal errands to run, etc.
Posted 7/10/2015 8:46 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Lex

I can relate to what you are saying as I get a lot of social anxiety due to having Aspergers Syndrome.

As SC mentioned try not to be to hard on yourself these things take time and it's best to keep taking small steps and focus on that you have made progress.

What helped me was accepting that I was always going to find social situations difficult and that is just part of how I am but by using my coping skills I can keep my anxiety in check. I am also very open with my friends now and have told them I suffer with social anxiety and that I may leave early at an event and they have been very accepting of this. I recently joined a Table Tennis club which was a big step for me and my anxiety was sky high for the first month I attended but the more I went the easer it becomes.

Keep on putting yourself in these situations and you will see improvements it may take time but it is worth the time and effort.

Hibee
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