Anxiety and Relationships

As I've mentioned in my other post I am 21 with a 9 month old in a rocky relationship. I've lived with her for about the past 3 months and we dated on and off since I was 17 (so roughly 4 years now). Lately her birth control has changed her mood A LOT. She started taking recommended vietmons that are supposed to "help" but she often forgets to take them making her mood swings a ton worse. Also just when she misses with my "rituals" it'll throw me off forcing me to play "search n' rescue x edition" causing highly uneeded anxiety. Literally she complains when I have two towels out for cooking; one to dry hands with and other to clean surfaces (yep I wonna prep veggies on a raw meat contaminated service...maybe I'm just OCD?). Other various things as well.

Pretty much see it like this if I end the relationship

pros:

no more search n' rescue games after lease is up
no more bailing her out of crap (fixing her car, etc.)
being able to explore myself and find true happiness
less relationship stress

cons:

lawyers
money
forced state child support (shocked they ain't tried to yet)
more stress

I've threatened to pull in my ol' bed and make the downstairs bedroom my own, needless to say to say she flipped and said she'd move out and not pay her half of the rent (yay more stress!). Tried repeatedly to get my concerns through to her head but it reminds me way to much of living with my mentally ill mom (the yelling, search n' rescue games, etc.).

Once again suggestions?

Hi RandomGuy,

Relationship are hard and it takes both parties giving 100% or they will not work out. I agree with Hibee that you need to decide if the relationship is to be saved or if it is beyond saving. If you want to save it then I would for sure check out couples counseling.

It is hard when you have a child in the mix, fathers seem to get screwed when it comes to custody issues and visitation and paying child support, I know this first hand as I'm watching my son go thru this at this time, going from 50/50 custody to visitation just 2 weekends a month, it is hurting all of us. Although having a child with someone is not a good enough reason to be miserable and stay in a relationship that isn't working, but it is your decision just think long and hard about what you want for your future.

We are behind you whatever you decide, you don't need to go thru this alone, Keep posting for support and encouragement. :)

Seems like its a back and fourth thing at this point. Not a part of any churches or anything, I'm non-religious.

I'll check into a few books. As for the counseling (forgot to mention this) pretty hard to do when I'm on work schedule (10 hour nights 5 days a week 6 with "OT") plus she is changing to FT management. At this point gonna slow it waay down.

Thanks you all for the advice!

True. Also just having been raised by a single mom with mental disorders does come into play a lot. Feels like I'm in that same loop having to save hind ends (throw out cash over bull, tell her how to budget, etc), repeat myself constantly, etc. Past few nights I've been finding reasons just to get away from her and not sleep in same room just to cool my anxiety.