anxious about terminal sister - ugh

i haven't been on here for awhile - but i feel the need to vent. ugh
i'm sitting at work and just start feeling like my blood sugar dropped. i was thinking about an allergy cough i have this morning and if it's going to get bad again like it did in january when i had bronchitis that took forever to heal and left a lingering post nasal drip cough some mornings. had 2 xrays though so know nothing bad is going on. although watching your sister get some terminal illness at a young age and fade quickly is not good for health anxiety! now i feel justified somewhat. ugh it all started when my dad died 12 years ago in front of me quickly of pnemonia. within 5 days he was gone.

anyway, i thought i was handling it ok but apparently not. i took my son to the dr for allergy testing and got to work late - sitting here talking to guys who have stopped to talk and start feeling like i can't focus right or my eyelids are getting heavy - so of course i start panicking. ugh!! then i start getting the blood sugar drop feeling and i've eaten today. geez! yesterday i was on the verge of tears all day and today i thought i was doing good. um, no~! i slept ok or maybe not. went to bed later and woke up too early - didnt hear my alarm.

how do you keep functioning dealing with CANCER of a loved one and watching them die slowly?!!! i'm sooooo angry right now i could scream!!!!!!!!!

ok i'm done. :P

I was thinking about you just yesterday. I noticed you hadn't been on in a while.

I'm just so sorry that you are going through all of this. As SC said, of course your feelings are normal for your situation.

I really hope you can find the support you need to get through this.

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

My heart goes out to you! I lost my Dad to cancer 6 years ago. And my sister passed 5 years ago from heart surgery complications. Sending prayers to you and your family🙏🙏🙏