Just want some opinions.

I was wondering if the domestic violence that I witnessed as a small child and teen might be why I have so much anxiety now? The violence I witnessed was pretty bad, I was 12 when I saw my stepdad hit my mom so hard in the face it broke bones and I remember running to the hospital next door for help. I also remember at the age of 9, my stepdad beating my mother in the kitchen and I was hitting him and yelling that I wanted to kill him. I remember at age 10 when my mom and dad took me and my infant sister on a drive, and they stopped at a bar and left us in the van while they went in to drink. When they came out and we started back home, my dad was on drugs and alcohol and started driving irratically thru the streets, and I was screaming and hitting him, but he wouldn't stop. There was so much stress growing up, I was always running to my grandma, or the neighbors house for help. Do you think that is why I have anxiety? Can it come from a traumatic childhood?

Hi deborahscinder,

The answer to both your questions would be yes. Have you ever discussed this with a Mental Health Professional?

Many times traumatic events are not processed and integrated into our brain/memory. Traumatic events in childhood can cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). A child will develop coping skills that allow them to keep themselves safe in an environment that is anything but safe.

The "coping skills" of a child are not healthy coping skills but are developed for the child's survival in an unsafe environment. As an adult the person can have anxiety/panic attacks, self medicate, and a whole host of other issues.

If you want to work on your childhood trauma then let your Therapist know. If your Therapist doesn't want to help you work through your childhood then it is time to find a therapist who will.

deborahscinder said...
I just don't know if working on it at age 52 is going to stop my anxiety. Since it was so very long ago.

Don't let your age stop you, you are not that old

Can working on childhood trauma stop anxiety/panic attacks? Yes! If you will commit to the process and hang in there things can get better. I will be honest with you, working on childhood trauma is not fun or easy. I hated it. Why did I need to re-live what I already lived through. I have never been sorry I did it.

Don't expect help or understanding from your Mother What happened to or what you were exposed to as a child is NOT your fault in any way shape or form. The fault lies squarely on the adults. Unfortunately, your Mother is not able or willing to take responsibility and it appears to be easier for her to believe everything was fine. Maybe, just maybe, your Mother's perception is her way of coping, I don't know.

You can't help your Mother but you can help yourself. Please consider it.

When I was in my younger adult years, this didn't seem to haunt me like it does now. I mean I knew what had happened but I was able to ignore it. Now that I dwell on it and more memories come flooding back, I realize how messed up it all was.

DS,

You have received some great guidance and support above...so I will just add that you have my sympathies, encouragement and support.

...to answer your latter question...of why this is starting to affect you more now, and not so much when you were younger...

When we are younger, we are more distracted with simply making our way through school, finding our place in life...

...getting married, having babies...lots of things to divert our mind from the things we can easily push aside.

You had built up walls too of course...but they can only hold so long...and then they start to give.

...and life slows down, and the thoughts can start to come to the forefront.

So now is actually the ideal time to start work on healing from these past traumas.

It is never too late to give yourself this gift.:)

S.C.