HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Going to see therapist tomorrow

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 11/10/2015 2:17 AM (GMT 0)
So in lieu of my current setback of DOOM as I call it ha ha, I got in touch with my therapist about my p-doc recommending Lamictal, my aversion to taking it, and well I took a sick day from work for like the one zillionth time (thankfully my job is understanding but I don't want to keep pushing it) and I went to speak with mother who lives pretty close by.

I still have these somewhat obsessive thoughts that I am bipolar, so I wanted to ask her about the mental health of some of our family members that I know have had issues in the past. My cousin on my dad's side had a few issues when he was younger with depression and what seemed like some mania when he was younger but is now 45 has been married for years, has a little girl and has been doing fine. And apparently he isn't on any meds.

My uncle on my mom's side was diagnosed as being schizophrenic when he was 16, he is in his 60's now. He never married, is a little odd but has been stable for years and takes all of his medications. He also took an IQ test and tested at the genius level so I don't know if they still consider him schizophrenic given that that diagnosis was given years ago when mental health care wasn't exactly the best. And the diagnosis was given in a third world country (where my family is originally from) so who knows what he really has. I'm still digging for clues.

My cousin on my mom's side who is 29, has either bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, she used to be a cutter and also she always speaks over people, speaks crazy fast at times, decided to get her entire back tattooed one night, and has gotten into more than one physical altercation with people for no reason. She's super fun!

So after discovering those things I talked to my therapist and she told me that maybe I should take a few diagnostic tests to see if I do have a bit of bipolar disorder. She says she doubts it, as does my p-doc, also I can never think of a time where I have had any hypomanic, let alone manic episodes. I am a pretty talkative person, can't you tell by my long posts? But I also get incredibly irritable at times, I get involved with too many projects at once and think I can handle them all, I also sometimes start things and leave them unfinished because I'm easily distracted, I'm pretty over confident sometimes to where nothing bothers me and a few other things that make me suspicious. Plus two other p-docs have mentioned I could be bipolar but they made that diagnosis after like 2 seconds of meeting which made me question them immediately.

So anyway my therapist is going to make me take a few tests tomorrow to see if there is anything I should be concerned about. In the end I think I have anxiety with some pretty moderate depression as of late. But I just want to know if I am getting the right treatment. I have a new baby boy and am determined to get better so I can be the best dad EVER! Ha!
Posted 11/10/2015 2:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hi!

Is your p-doc a psychiatrist? I hope so bc that's really who you should be seeing. They will do the diagnostic testing plus consider whatever history you present with. Have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD? How old are you?

I had the same concerns last year when I was a bit of mess, to put it mildly lol. I took the online tests out of desperation to find out what was "wrong" w/me. I didn't score as BP, nor did my psych think I was. I was "just" anxious (which makes me depressed- viscious cycle!), and in the storm of major life transitions.

I think you're male, correct me if I'm wrong, but did you know that men/fathers can absolutely get post-partum depression? That can present as what you've said your symptoms are & can & will resolve with time, your therapy, coping skills and medication if you choose.

I take a low dose of Lamictal. It was given to me last year as a booster to an AD I tried last year that wasn't working. I eventually stopped that AD & was put on my current AD, Viibryd, but stayed on the Lamictal. I too was terrified of taking it. It was totally benign for me besides making me drowsy the first week.

Your determination to heal is evident which will take you far on your road to remission. Remener to give your focus on what's right in your life. It's easy to only focus on what's wrong, I know personally, & often it doesn't even feel natural to. But it's a coping skill that I think is imperative to healing. I could make a list of things that are right in your life just by the few posts I've read of yours. I will compose you a list if you don't believe it :-)
Posted 11/10/2015 2:59 AM (GMT 0)
TKBG,

Glad to hear you are going in to get the answers that you need...you sound more hopeful in just getting to this point and taking this step! :)

Let us know how it goes, and what the doc says, okay?

We are in support!

Great work on getting the answers you seek to feel your best, and go after your most successful recovery plan!

S.C.
Posted 11/10/2015 4:32 AM (GMT 0)
Lesweet, I am 32. Also, no I have never been diagnosed with ADHD but I'm pretty sure I have it or some form of it, just never been diagnosed. I distract easily and my coworkers always laugh about it. "Dude, can you please send me that e-mail I asked you for before your ADD kicks in and you forget again?" or "Ok man I'm not leaving your side until you send me that artwork I asked for because I know you'll forget"....These are common ocurrences in my workplace and thankfully I work with many creative and hilarious characters that are probably just as or crazier than I am. So it's all good.

Anyway, yes my p-doc is a psychiatrist and I also see a therapist. My psychiatrist recommended I take Lamictal on top of the 20 mg Lexapro and 1 mg Klonopin 2x per day I have been taking. I picked it up from the pharmacy but am still debating whther I take it or not. Tomorrow I am going to take the diagnostic tests for BPD and see how I fair. I doubt I am but I became so obsessed with it, that knowing I am taking the test tomorrow has actially relieved a lot of my anxiety already. Funny how that works right?

Also I totally agree with you about male post partum depression, that's what I feel I have and my therapist does as well. She actually was asked to write an article about male post partum depression for Men's Health so she has been really helpful about that and believes all of this will subside soon.

I'm actually interested in reading your list of the things that are right in my life ha ha...thats only if you are actually interested in writing it though. I know I am blessed with many great things...sometimes what frustrates me the most about this anxiety and the accompanying depression is the fact that it doesn't allow me to see what I already know...The blessings are there it jist fools me into thinking they are not.
Posted 11/10/2015 6:49 AM (GMT 0)
hi, a clear dx is critical to receiving the correct modalities of treatment. it also gives it a name, an understanding of what the illness is, and in-part, sometimes the causal elements, but not always. know that being fully open and proactive, as you are is the right way to achieving wellness. we are all works in progress, the department that is being worked on is always individualistic, albeit one in the same as being-in progress!!! you are on the best path. keep mindful and try new techniques and find ones that offer you most comfort and utilise these in times of distress. congrats new dad.
Posted 11/10/2015 5:23 PM (GMT 0)
1. You articulate your thoughts & ideas sensibly.
2. You have a job
3. Your co-workers work with your quirks, as do you w/theirs
4. You're in therapy having recognized the need and desire to help yourself & others
5. In the midst of your woes, You are empathetic to others who post on this forum & take the time to reply to them.
6. You keep your sense of humor despite feeling like a nutball :-)
7. You are taking the baby steps needed to heal
8. You are becoming more authentic & awakened bc of all of this
9. You are a warrior
10. Bc of the above mentioned things, you are already winning 👍🏼
Posted 11/11/2015 3:19 AM (GMT 0)
You are an absolute sweetheart lesweet1971, thank you very much for taking the time to write that.

I just really have to be careful about the job part, I have taken so much time off work that I am blessed to have the job I have because my team backs each other up big time and they have gone out on a limb more than once to make sure my job stays safe. So I guess I can add that to your list of things I have going for me.

Hopefully they will deal with my quirks long enough till I stabilize and I can get back to doing what I love to do. I'm a graphic designer and digital content creator for a big multimedia company so my job is fun and I get creative control over a lot of my work. My anxiety and these setback constantly make me fear losing my job...but I know I won't I will beat this feral cat we call anxiety!
Posted 11/11/2015 3:27 AM (GMT 0)
keep being strong and you will tame the feral cat.
Posted 11/11/2015 4:57 AM (GMT 0)
How did the testing go?

I hope it went well and you get some definitive answers soon !

S.C.
Posted 11/11/2015 4:21 PM (GMT 0)
Unfortunately, my therapist had to reschedule the tests so I have to take it on Saturday after my scheduled appointment with her. I still havent been back into work but my therapist says I have to push myself to go. I felt a little better this morning with my morning anxiety. So far though it is just very difficult to get myself out of bed. I want to get back to normal or stabilize so bad. Im tired and sad of just not getting better and of having these drastic ups and downs where I feel im finally able to see some light at the end of the tunnel only to have the door crash closed in my face.

Anyway so I found out more details about my family history. My uncle is indeed schizophrenic but has had no symptoms for many years now because he has been disciplined in taking his medication which I found out was a monthly dose of piportil and a daily dose of clozapine. These are the drugs that are available where he lives in South America.

My other 2 cousins I know nothing about but they are more stable now than they have ever been. I dont know what meds they take if they take any or if they simply grew out of their problems or if they are simply dormant waiting to return. I do know that my cousin that is 45 became an avid bike rider after his depressive episode in his mid 20's. He now competes worldwide in mountain biking competitions and is obsessed with exercise which is what my aunt says has kept him from having a relapse. Basically, exercise is his antidepressant.

Anyway I started the Lamictal yesterday. P-doc wants me to start with 25 mg for 2 weeks and then go up to 50. So far the only side effect I have felt is that my skin itches like crazy. No rash, hives, or anything else but just itching all over. Hopefully it goes away and doesnt get worse because I have heard of life threatening skin rashes with Lamictal.

Time will tell. Still fighting this, still figuring it all out and hoping to beat this all soon.

Post Edited (TheKickboxingGuy) : 11/11/2015 9:24:49 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/11/2015 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
TKBG,

Sorry to hear your appointment was moved...it's hard when you get psyched up for something, and then it gets put off...

However, Saturday is coming up soon, so hang in there!

Great job on your start up, and returning to work! We are sending encouragement for both. ..I am sure you will do well in both things. :)

Keep us posted so we can keep you in support,

S.C.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply