i cant do this anymore

iam falling apart and hurting my family. my kids are worried about me. my husband just yells at me as does my mother. I went to my family dr and he made me feel better. but then he said I could take some blood screening test for ovarian cancer called ca 125. so I did it - he said it would give me piece of mind. then I read up on it and find out it gives a lot of false positives. im supposed to get the results Friday. id rather not know now actually and im mad at myself that I did this. I think id rather wait till an ultrasound in jan so id know for sure. if I call the drs tomorrow will they "cancel" my test? im sure its been sent out but can I tell them I don't want to know th results? Im already waiting for my pap tests and worried sick over that. and next week is Christmas and I feel like the holidays have been ruined already. Ive been crying all night again tonight. I cant do this anymore.

NMP,

I think if it were me...I would wait and get my results from the yearly pap/screenings first...

...and go from there.

I think you will feel a lot better after getting the news on these.:)

S.C.

thank you all. I made the decision to hold off on getting the CA 125 results back till after the holidays. I called the drs office and it was too late - but the receptionist was super understanding - she was like I know exactly how you feel - id be the same way! so she wrote a note saying that I did not want results till after the holidays. I think I would just feel better getting the results and having the ultrasound at the same time. I read the results just give you numbers and anything over 20 can mean increased risk. but that it can also come up if you have fibroids or benign cysts and can even detect if you have cancer somewhere else. one story I read she tested positive and then they looked everywhere and couldn't find any cancer. I think I would go insane. and I don't need to be going insane right now over the holidays when im not even going back to my gyno till jan 4th! I feel much calmer since I made this decision. im still anxiously waiting on my pap test - today marks the week mark so im hoping I hear today. although I don't know if I want to know either. I just talked to my SIL who performs mammograms. she was saying how she hates when she has to call patients to come back in for another one because something had been noticedon the first scan - she said some people are fine and others are hysterical and that she tells them that shes had to have 2 done before and she was fine. so im just going to hold on to hope. anyway im going to unplug for now and focus on my work and then cleaning my house. have a great day everyone!