and Im back

so after feeling better during the holidays my Panic and anxiety have returned and I don't know how to make it go away. Ive had a bad cold/sinus infection since Christmas and it doesn't seem to be getting better. well it did in some aspects. My nose isn't really running as bad anymore and my cough isn't as bad. but my sinuses still feel full and my ears hurt. I have been to the dr and they said only my right ear was a little red with some fluid. Im on antibiotics but its not clearing up at all. so this is making me very panicky. of course my mind goes to the extreme - tumors, aneurysm. I also have right sided shoulder pain, stiffness - but that could be from tension? I have my colposcopy on Monday and that's worrying me too - even though my pap came back normal. I just don't feel right anymore. I have this feeling of doom hanging over me. I have nothing to look forward too. my life just feels empty. I have my kids but I don't work outside the home, I have no hobbies or anything. I have nothing that I enjoy. im 40 yrs old and I just feel like I have no purpose. I wake up every morning in a panicked state. Im on Effexor which is doing nothing for me obviously. and I take Xanax at night.

Thank you SC. I wish I would just feel better. Then I feel like my anxiety would be better. I've had sinus problems forever and had sinus surgery 2 years ago. And I know I'm sick. Right after Christmas I had the nonstop runny nose and coughing and sneezing and that's all getting better except for the fullness I feel in my head and my ears. So my minds wandering. Like why is it not getting better with the antibiotic? What if it's a tumor or an aneurysm? What if I die in my sleep? Even though I know I've been sick. My mind goes so drastic. And of course now I'm worried about the panic and why it won't stop. Im on effexor and its do u g nothing . Tonight we went to a party. I didn't drink. I was talking to people but in my head I was thinking how now my chest hurts and I can't breathe and my hearts racing and why does my right shoulder hurt and I'm so tired. I told everyone I was getting over a cold so I wasn't really drinking. My one friend said she didn't like "this me". I don't like this me either. I just wish this sinus stuffwould go away so I can get my mind back. But what if I don't? Sometimes I think I need to just be committed. Because I don't know if I know how to do this anymore.

This season's sinus issues are particularly rough...

...try to be patient with your healing...it sometimes just takes longer than we think it should...and that increases our anxiety.

It will happen though...a few more days, and I'll bet you'll be feeling a turn around. ..

...and your anxiety will easier to manage. :)

Rest, take care of your body (fluids/good nutrition) and mind... (coping skills/positive thinking)

...and know we are here for you!

S.C.

NMP,

Sorry you are overcome with the negatives and worries...

I bet you'll be feeling much better after you get through your procedure tomorrow.

This is a rough time currently, but you'll pull out of it.

Get through tomorrow...and feeling better...

...work on your anxiety/depression. ..

...and then when you are feeling more stable...perhaps you can evaluate your marriage, and how things could be worked on so you are both happier?

Let us know how you are doing as soon as you can tomorrow, okay?

Your symptoms could be related to your sinus issues...

...or anxiety about tomorrow.

Are you doing your prep now? That can make you feel lousy too!

S.C.

Thank you SC! I just want it over and for everything to be ok and for my sinuses to be better and to feel ok and then I want to focus of getting my life back

im hoping to get to the place where I can look back on all this. I hope that day comes SOON. I have to say I have been feeling a bit better today however that could be from the Xanax I took today. I usually only take it at night when I go to bed however with my procedure today I took one before my appt. It made me VERY tired and groggy but my panic has been gone. I wish I could take it daily however most days I am alone with a 4 yr old and I do not feel like that is the best idea. the muscle is my shoulder and neck on the right side is SO tense. and sore. I also have this feeling on the right side of my head like a band is squeezing it. Irrational me and screaming that its an aneurysm. But rational me is telling myself its tension mixed with sinuses and that I have felt this way before and survived and will do so again. Im trying to get the rational side to win out - but irrational me is still there. I read a good book last night on some coping skills and I have been trying o practice them today. I also want to get a journal so I can start writing things down. I call the therapy place againand they are to get back to me tomorrow with a therapist that takes my insurance. I also called my PCP and left a message that my Effexor 150 mg is no longer working and they called me in a new dosage of 225 mg. PRAYING that helps with my anxiety and depression!!!! Tomorrow I have a playdate with my daughters friend and her mom which is good. Oh I also was on facebook today and saw a friend posted about someone she knows who just died suddenly of a brain aneurysm (my biggest fear) and I surprisingly didn't get too freaked out (guessing the Xanax). anyway im just trying to use rational thought. i hope i continue to feel better. im so tired of the anxiety.