HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Rewriting history..

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 1/25/2016 1:17 PM (GMT 0)
Since I was young I've always had obsessive regrets...

If I do something that I consider 'a mistake' I will go over it again and again and again in my mind - to the point where I totally exhaust myself.

I call it 'rewriting history' - for example - I was involved in a car accident recently.

Straight away I started to begin my 'if onlys' - if only I didn't reach for my jacket - I would have been 5 seconds later, if only my Mum had called me at home - it would have delayed me and I wouldn't been involved in the accident, if only I had chosen somewhere different for lunch - I would have avoided the accident, if only I had parked my car in my car park - I would have entered the intersection at a different time etc.

And on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on...

I just try and keep rewriting history and for a split second I can believe that there is an alternative reality - but then of course the 'real reality' comes crashing in! Just leaving me more despondent...

Do others do this? I've done it from such a young age when something 'bad' happens and I'm sick to death of it to be honest but it's like I just cant get a grip on these out of control regrets, trying to 'rewrite history' and the never ending 'if onlys'...

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Regards, Evan
Posted 1/25/2016 2:09 PM (GMT 0)
Wow -- I do exactly the same thing. I never heard anyone else say this before. And I replay the event or conversation over and over and over again, in my head. For me, it always relates to something I could have done or said differently -- not some "event of chance" like if someone else had called me on the phone, or if it had rained so I would not have been outside, or whatever -- but instead if I had said something differently or done something differently (or not said or done something!). So I not only replay the events in my head, but sort of beat myself up for the "mistake" I made.

When I have described this to others (therapist, spouse) they say I am too hard on myself, hold myself to too high a standard -- the same things that have made me successful in business have caused this unfortunate trait -- I need to accept that everyone makes mistakes. That all makes sense, intellectually, I suppose, but I still have the same tendency -- and knowing intellectually that i should not do this doesn't help -- I do it anyway -- it is sort of like my way of dealing with negative situations and anxiety -- though I do not think it is a constructive way...
Posted 1/25/2016 2:36 PM (GMT 0)
This is quite interesting! :O

Oh hello and welcome by the way :)

I don't usually do the thing you describe as I don't have too much problem with what has already happened, instead I get anxious about the things to come. Especially if they are health related.

Did you consider any type of therapy or discuss this type of behavior with a psy doctor?

Thanks for sharing your story!
Posted 1/25/2016 5:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi EJ and welcome!

I am sorry to hear of your accident. I do hope that you are recovering well physically and things are getting resolved on a practical end...repairs to cars, insurance issues...ect...

The mental aspect however can be more difficult can't it?

Have you ever talked to anyone about this before, such as a doctor, counselor/therapist? I am wondering if this fits in the OCD category, which falls within the anxiety spectrum.

One useful tool is working through Thought Challenging Worksheets...rather than ruminating with the 'What If' thinking patterns. These can help you productively process the thought/worry...and diffuse the negative feelings associated with it.

If you are interested, you can find downloads of these types of exercises in our Resources at the top of the main forum page...or let me know, and I will be happy to post it directly for you here.:)

Best wishes on this issue. Post with us anytime for anxiety support. We understand and care.:)

Scaredy Cat
Posted 1/25/2016 7:10 PM (GMT 0)
Recently, I've been doing a lot of reading on "Pure O OCD", it's basically the obsession part, without a visible compulsion. When most people think of OCD, they immediately thing about hand washing or the compulsion side.

In a situation like yours, you're aware of the O, the obsession (making a mistake) but not aware that "rewriting history" (or rumination) can be considered a non-visible compulsion. It's just your way of coping with the anxiety.

You may want to find some info on "Pure O" and see if any of it clicks, it did for me and luckily, instead of being all, "OH NO! ANOTHER THING TO WORRY about", I took as, "Whew! finally an answer, I'm not crazy and now I have a path to work on."

GL and keep us posted.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply