Anxiety/Depression/Gastritis = FEAR

I just joined this site so this is my intro.

So, I'm a 26 year old guy. I take care of my body; eat mostly organic, gluten free foods. I don't do much sugar or any processed foods. I workout 4-6 times a week and am built well. Anxiety has plagued my life on and off for the last decade and it's becoming a lot to deal with. I started suffering from GAD and panic when I was 16 and into college it started affecting my stomach, causing me to get the sensation I was going to crap my pants and then die. Now, I wasn't always a muscular guy. Until I was 22, I was a skinny, frail guy. At 22 when I started working out I stood at 5'10" and weighed about 135 soaking wet. Anyway, the bowel thing moved up in my gut and by my second year of college, I would start feeling like I was going to throw up and my chest would get tight. I missed a lot of classes, would just collapse in my car at the end of the day and retreat to my house. I've always had self esteem/self worth issues and finding love for the first time at 19 helped build me up a bit and through the ways of fate, it was taken away after having gone through some rough times (including a battle with parasites that nearly took my life). Then at 22, I bulked up, started bodybuilding and ended up becoming a personal trainer and strength coach. But no matter how big and strong I've gotten, this beast within me always makes me feel like that skinny little kid. Over the course of the last year, I've been dealing with leaky gut symptoms that seem to flare up due to situational anxiety. So I'll be okay at certain points in the day, then I have gas and cramps and my skin starts breaking out and I just feel like a big bloated stomach with arms. Since around Christmas time, it's gotten worse and last week I had a really bad bout of nausea/diarrhea and chills. Since my initial battle with parasites in 2010, I've been intensely terrified of being sick like that, or anything close so I'm terrified of vomiting. Everything about it is a nightmare. Nothing is familiar, there is no comfort in anything or anyone and I literally feel trapped in my own body. This recent bout has followed me to work, it follows me home. After I eat anything, my stomach turns and flips and burns and my chest tightens. I can't sleep. I lay in bed gripped with fear as my stomach fills with nausea. I'll get hungry and then feel sick as soon as I try to eat. I'm googling again, which I know isn't the way to go.

On top of all these physical ailments, I've had a very emotional year and VERY emotional last few weeks. I've uncovered painful truths about my past, things that I have buried and kept buried since I was a child. I'll level with you guys, I have been suicidal the last few weeks but it's only because my soul has been trying to tell my body things for a while now and I think my physical body and consciousness are acknowledging the signals. I may try therapy, I've tried it before but it was short lived due to cost.

It seems like the physical ailments and symptoms trigger more emotional stuff and the emotional stuff triggers more physical stuff and it's a battle that never ends. I'm tired of living this way. Stuck in a body that doesn't feel right anymore. A strong, bearded, weathered man with no place to feel safe.

Is there anyone who's been to similar edges in their psyche? How do we press on? How do we combat it when nothing seems to work, and nothing that's worked before, works anymore?

Sorry this was a bit heavy, but it's been a burden for a while now and it seems everything is coming to a head and the terror of fighting for my life in 2010 has come back nearly 6 years later.

Hi BF,

I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. Please know that we care and understand.

I have to echo the advice of confiding with your doctor and getting a treatment plan in place immediately! Do you have a P-doc or therapist? If not, this should be priority number one.

If you feel you are at risk for self harm, please reach out for help now and take the step towards recovery you need.

We can and will support you, but you must also seek professional help to make the gains you need to be safe, healthy and happy.

Please post back and let us know you have set something up with your doctor, therapist or P-doc.

Talk soon,

Scaredy Cat

BF,

How about a therapist? I dealt with my anxiety/panic disorder and health worries through seeing one, and doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It was extremely helpful.

Self help is also a powerful tool. We have an extensive collection of material in our Resources, first thread at the top of the forum page...

...however, if you are having thoughts of self harm...you really must be seen by a professional to ensure your safety.

S.C.

Good! I am glad to hear this! I hope the process of getting your coverage is smooth and goes quickly for you!

For now, do have a look at some of the suggested coping skills from our Resources. They can help in not only feeling better mentally...

...but with (with time and practice) the physical/gastro symptoms as well!

Keep us posted, and know we are always here to listen and care.:)

S.C.

I've tried meditation and can't seem to escape what my physical body is feeling. I can feel the fear welling up inside me. I'm trying to be tough and overcome, but it's so hard when you feel like something is potentially very wrong with you because, why else would you feel nauseous/pain in your stomach almost all of the time? This discomfort level began about a week ago and I'm trying to give it time but my life is so miserable right now.

Wow. You poor thing. We have also had anxiety (still fight it) and it's the PITS. Here's what I found works: Energy. I have a hard time acquiring this from food myself always, so am currently using Ultraflora 360 by Metagenics-just a bit of it in water a few x a day. Crazy expensive like everything else listed below-but it gives me a good lift for a long time.

the 4, 7, 8 breathing technique is fabulous, multiple x a day. Dr. Weil explains it well on youtube. but you can do it more often than he suggests.

The product Stressaway? by Florex? works very well!! A few drops under the tongue throughout the day. One bottle can get you to a new level.

energy healers can help a whole lot! Will need to do somewhat regularly-maybe every 3-4 weeks?

Infrared light saunas-cost $35 for 40 minutes at a massage place near us-are very relaxing! I recommend. some friends told me about it last month so I tried it quickly!

Laying in the hot sun esp. on a beach! very healing.

Essential oils have not done it for me always, but Thieves is helpful-use with some oil in rubbing on your body. Rubbing just a high quality coconut oil on your body is also very helpful. Young Livings Ninja drink is super good for energy but expensive.

GABA Calm by source naturals, esp. peppermint, under the tongue is very helpful.

Cortisol Calm by Pure is helpful.

Xanax is fine if you have to take it-just do it. The ramifications of continued stress on the body can create even more issues. You do want to get the anxiety to a manageable level without doing anything like alcohol (which makes things worse). I hated Lexipro and getting off of it was a nightmare.

Getting your neurotransmitters tested is very interesting; cortisol levels by saliva. Vit D levels.

Medical intuitives can help direct/identify/clarify things. Very pricey but good ones are so very informative. Take lots of notes.

Music. I'm a musician and forget music most of the time. Crazy!! so healing. Esp. live performances! They can lift you for days.

I hope all of our experiences that have been hell at times can help you. Peace out!!

Hi there,

so sorry you are going through this - gastritis is no joke. It is like healing after surgury as your actual inner lining is inflamed and torn but you have to put food through there so its VERY difficult. I am in exactly the same boat as you and feel trapped in my body. It is by far the worst illness of my life and it nearly killed me.

I had tummy problems before this and was self treating myself with stuff like slippery elm and glutamine - mainly because I have a crap doctor and going to him he thinks EVERY ailment is 'a bit of anxiety'! How I did not get away from this man years ago is beyond me. It all started in August when i got a terrible bout of bronchitis. In the mean time of waiting for the doctor to change my antibiotic(again idiots making me wait when i had a serious chest infection told me to ring next day to make app? eh i needed help there and then! Anyways I stupidly took a pile of garlic capsules which offset the worst illness of my life. They basically burned into my stomach and intestines setting them into terrible spasms that just went on and on. So I ended up in the a & e dept - except they were more concerned about my chest as the bronchitis had developed further and was bad(was already knocked out with this). The doctor injected me with buscupan in which i vomited 8 times afterwards and got very dizzy but it didnt stop the spasms. After getting a long list of meds, some iv antibiotics and a script for the rest I was sent home...in bits!!!

Everytime my tummy spasmed which was constantly it pulled on my back muscles. My insides were having a nervous breakdown. The garlic had set off a nervous reaction. I literally couldn't get out of bed to get food and when I did nothing would go in especially dairy and grease turned my stomach and my bowl would vibrate for hours afterwards. I ended up going back to hospital twice after this in which the doctor said I have 'mild' gastritis...MILD eh hello there was nothing mild about it my insides were in meltdown but he could not see this. My tummy turned and stiffened too it was awful. I told him I wanted to see gastro doc or 2nd opinion...he said ok but was treating me as phychosomatic as i kept saying i cant cope with this...he then was kinda shouting at me you are not dying you are ok bla bla but i felt like i was dying...he left me waiting on the chair that long(i needed a bed) that i thought id die of tiredness my body was that bad so i went home. also before that i kept dry heaving and my tummy kept flipping what actually worked was motilium and not the buscupan. They kept injecting me with antacids and water but it didnt help. For a 2nd visit this was not just mild gastritis - if it was i wouldnt be there!!! Sorry I did leave now though I should have stuck it out and got to the specialist but he made me feel so small. There other problem was i just couldnt fend for myself i literally was in bits bedridden and in serious pain. I'd lost one stone by this stage in only one week as they told me not to eat for few days and let it heal but it did not.

3rd trip to hospital so reluctantly but couldn't avoid as couldn't breathe. Again I ended up getting treated like i was a piece of crap...the doctor actually asked me what is gastritis i later found out he was being sarcastic the cheek of him..i had to literally beg for the nebuliser which helped. they were all scratching their head - what a bunch of idiots young dopes with not a clue..it turned out i had acid escape from tummy into the lung and that is why i could not breathe but bcoz they couldnt hear a wheeze they thought i was imagining it...if they had of done an xray that night they might have seen it. I again left after agruging with the doctor at length when in reality i should have asked for a different doctor and reported him. BIG MISTAKE LEAVING THIS TIME as i was truely at end of the road needed help. Went back to my own gp who had no clue at all...no surprise there gombcrape...i broke down to my mother to go stay with her as i was literally wasting away at home i wasnt getting better and nobody seemed to care.

I stayed with her for a week n got a bit of strength back up. I then decided to go to a private doc i knew from my last job. Well in under a minute he knew instantly every symptom i was suffering from was an infection in my stomach. I repeatedly told the hospital staff and my own gp i feel like iv a flu or infection as when chest cleared i still felt that horrible infection wrecked symptoms. So basically I had the h pylori infection which has been activitated ten told by ingesting garlic as this virus lives in lining of tummy n when garlic burned into that lining the bacteria went all over my stomach and intestines and up my throat - my throat was in bits with pain and ulcers too n still they never copped it the idiots. This doctor finally sent me for a scope which should have been done the first of at least 2nd time i ended up in hospital. The problem was it was another wait in which i could not do. I tried so hard to get in quicker but seems there was red tape everywhere i was begging them to help me as i knew how sick i was. Anyway it ended up while waiting i threw up violently one night after drinking a half a can of guinness that i got dehydrated and my potassium bottomed out so much i near had a heart attack. They rehydrated me with drip but i still kept dehydrating which is a symtom of hypokalemia low potassium...and gave me some horse sized potassium pills but as soon as the pills stopped i got worse and worse weaker and weaker...my legs were covered in bruises my heart was palpatating bad n very weak i had muscle spasms everywhere and no1 thought to think it was still the potassium as kept saying it was normal...i never thought id leave that hospital i was literally skin and bone and they were treating me like i was anorexic this is what they put it down to the gobcrapes....

can you imagine being treated so horrendously...even my mother was trying to get me into a mental home despite me pleading with them all how sick iw as and it was my tummy not my head. I went home as they were clearly not helpting me. i again was so weak i knew something serious was wrong like nutritional...my brother looked after me for one month where i had to force myself to start eating again...imagain iv still got the stomach infection at this stage but the scope they eventually did was a false negetive so do not assume your test is correct as mine was not. I was having severe symtoms of dizziness exessive thirst palps and lots more where hopsotial kept saying potassium was normal...my bkood pressure was also very low the whole time another symptoms of low potassium. After research and research there it was starting at me on google dehydration and excessive thirst as low k...i knew it had to be that how could you get worse than when you went into hospital. i started excessive k consumption lots of coco water and food high in it and my thirst went away and blood pressure came up and heart palps eased off OMFG hello suffering from severe hypokalemia for over1.5months and had to diagnose and treat myself. Anyways sorry about long story but iv been through hell.......

I booked myself back in for breath test as i knew there was an infection in there n guess what the test came back positive h pylori so basically i could have been saved all this suffering if the infection was detected earlier. i then got antiibiots for this but to my disbelif a few days into taking them it said not to take if low potassium...another block on the road...the doc said id be ok but on the 5th day i was not i near had heart attack with them. I should have listened to inner voice and not taken when i seen that but it was all so confusing and i was trapped in severe illness for so long i wanted soemthing to make me better. but at least i knew what it was potassium one thing, infection other but still was so tired...

I went to that private doctor again and he gave me different antibiotic and potassium supplements soemthing else which could have been avoided and he couldnt understand why they wouldnt give them to me after i presented them with the new info as they did not beleive me..the supplements were goin in fine and i thought about whether to start antibios or not as i didnt wanna cause any more probs. I started taking and all was ok except for after a few days on xmas eve my legs started serously paining me i knew this was the potassium what i didnt realise was penicillin which was added to flagyl for triple therapy actually depleted potassium too....sigh...i took a k pill at 12pm as was afraid my k was going low but that was mistake as your not meant to take lying down or on empty stomach it irritated my tummy n i couldnt eat properly i overcame it somewhat n stopped penicillin when i realised it...n just continued flagyl ...well here we go again last flagyl i debated to myself whether i should take as id a bad feeling which i again decided against and took n well guess what had all the bad side effects along with it burning into my stomach lining and causing chronic gastritis again...hell....hell....hell i couldnt eat again and got so weak and ill and sick i couldnt move out of bed ...all the MONTHS it took to heal the gastritis had been undone with this one little pill...i was like death warmed up palps weakness etc etc in bits ended up in anty then back in mams as couldnt cook for myself...she was not very understanding and kept demanding when i would be better and how she couldnt understand it all ...to go through all this was bad enough but to have no support whatsoever is another thing...she kept me there reluctantly but kept asking me to go home in which i wasnt able ...her boyfriend eventually talked to her and she calmed down. during this time i was still so sore and no energy i couldnt understand it myself...only i discoverd i was low on iron ---about one week after this i started to feel abit better with more energy n body was no aching as much or i wasnt cold all the time aswell.

so imagine i had all these serious things n no doctor could help --- all could have been prevented. i eventually got the strength 5 days ago to come back home. it was scary as i hoped i would not slide backwards which thankfully i have not yet. so here i am still alive somehow in misery n dealing with gastritis again along with still being deficient in potassium(havnt drank coco water in 2 days and heart started palps again and couldnt sleep last night legs sore...leg pain is also a symptoms of low iron. When i first started iron pills i got bad leg cramps but that was the iron going into the legs where it has been starved of oxgen for so long...I live in hope that one day my health will come back fully. its a challenge just to cook food and get to the shop and get the food into belly. Iv started back nexium and they are helping control the acid. Naturopath said i must eat plain foods or it will never heal. Once i get this healed n i can eat again properly i have a hope can put on more weight and get nutrrients i need and take supplements i need.

so mayne no one even read this but it might make you feel a bit better my long sad story of how badly a young happy energetic young woman got treated so very very badly...i have fibro so would be weaker than most so even moreso needed intervention quickly but it didnt happen. i love life and want to be able to love and life again...there is a man in my life who i am absolutely mad about but havnt seen in months due to all this as im just too weak.

So dear apart from your stress etc this can agrivate the tummy but there is probably something underlying there already, don't just assume it is your stress as tummy misery is enough to put you over the edge...i certainly have thought about suicide alot over the past few months. You need to get a scope done on your tummy...you could have the helicobacter virus and especially if you've had trouble with parasites in the past you are more prone to it...get a breathe test done...start ppis as that stiffening of the tummy is the acid irritating it this will block off the acid to allow the tummy lining to heal...also heard carafate are good i got in hospital but asked my doc for recently and he wont give me a prescription for it he just thinks im imagining the whole thing...what an idiot...i think its called antepsin here in ireland.

You couldn't be any worse than me thats why i gave story to give you hope...get it under control as gastritis is no joke and if its not treated it WILL get worse and worse which is what happened to me...it wont just go away with time there is no escaping it. i have fibro n had many painful nights days of weakness n suffering with blood as it swells to but at least there was some escape to that or that it will get better with a xanax or pain med or rest or something....but this there is literally no escape like n iv been dealing with so so much serious deficiencies and infections on top of it.

Do you ever do that...like not listen to your own instingt n then regret it and suffer for it?

Thanks i wish anxiety was just my problem that would be nothing compared to this gastric hell looking at people eat n drink what they want while i cant even have a glass wine let alone eat what i want its cruel iv no life n am battling a potassium deficiency for months...I misses my coconut water past couple days n my heart is weak n palpatating weak legs n no energy so i literally cant go out or do anything physical :(

I want my life n health back...I just wanna be able to feel normal again without worrying about getting enough potassium n watching what i eat...ITs horrible..Im going to see a nephrologist on Thursday ...I hope he can help me with this problem.