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relationships and fear of partner's family finding out

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Posted 3/28/2016 4:35 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, I'm new to this board. Just wanted to know if anyone has had to deal with their partner's family finding out about your panic disorder.

Background:
I recently had a panic attack during my own birthday. It was pretty bad and one of the first my family has witness. It came on pretty suddenly and had no where to go and my dad is not the most sensitive or understanding guy. (Thankfully out of the bad came some good, my parents finally listened to me and took notice that I had a problem and now I will be seeing a doctor again.)

Issue:
Because of this my dad has brought up that if he were my boyfriend's dad and he saw the way I reacted at my party that they would not want me dating my boyfriend anymore. Now this has me worried and paranoid. Have yall had to deal with a partner's family finding out about your disorder and how did they react? Are they right to be worried?

From my understanding, his parents know I have some kind of anxiety disorder and I havent really heard them say much about it. I think one time I wasnt feeling well and they gave me some space, but I never had a full blown panic attack in their presence. I'm afraid I might have one in front of them and oh dear what would they think of me and my influence. Just wondering about ya'll experiences and well how do you really know if your panic disorder is having a negative influence on your boyfriend? I really care about him and if it turns out we're in an unhealthy relationship, I would cut myself out as painful as it would be.

Sorry if this is long. confused sad
Posted 3/28/2016 5:51 AM (GMT 0)
Hi ZC and welcome!

I am glad you have joined us, and hope that you find this a place of understanding and support. :)

As far as your question is concerned...would it be any different if you had say, diabetes instead of an anxiety disorder...or any physical challenge rather than mental?

There really is no difference when you really consider it!

Both are valid issues that any individual may face.

In fact my husband does has diabetes. ..and I have an anxiety disorder...and we support each other through our individual struggles.

Being an advocate for yourself is of most importance. ..not worrying about what others may think of your anxiety.

This starts with doing everything you can for your recovery of course...but also includes creating awareness that mental health issues do not stop people from living productive and successful lives!

If you are taking these steps...how could any family members...yours or his, have anything but respect for how you are facing your challenges? :)

Please visit our Resources for great self help material, and keep posting with us if you find it helpful.

We care and support is key!

Scaredy Cat
Posted 3/28/2016 5:52 AM (GMT 0)
Zelda, we all seem to care a little too much what others will think about our condition. Yes, this is not
a disease, it's a condition and it's beatable, now as for what others may or may not think about this
you might be surprised at the number of people who have someone very dear to their heart that has
this condition. Loosen up and just be yourself and remember a person who has never had a panic or
anxiety attack can't possibly understand, they might be kind, helpful, but it's almost impossible to
explain to someone who has not had the experience. My Wife had them early on in our Marriage and I
was a lot like your Dad, then when I was 48 i had a humdinger! "Hey world my panic attack is special and worse than anyone elses". I think you see what I mean, stay with HW and get help. Peace
Larry ***
Posted 3/28/2016 6:51 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you very much you two. I didn't think about that perspective. You're right as long as I'm taking steps to recovering I guess I shouldn't worry too much about what they think. Through that I have to show them that I can still live a "normal" life. I should focus less in believing the assumptions others may have of me and focus on believing in myself and proving that I can be a great influence.

Lgm, I sometimes do forget that this is beatable so thank you so much for reminding me again. I keep relapsing back to panicing and hiding away and I start getting pretty discouraged when that happens. I worry too much. Bad habit, I really don't want to be a bad person so I worry how I, with my conition, may be affecting loved ones.

I started taking prozac again as of two days ago so we'll see how things go. I really appreciate both of yall's comments ty:)
Posted 3/28/2016 7:56 AM (GMT 0)
Hi

You have received some good support above so I just wanted to pop in and say welcome to the forum keep posting we are here for you.

Hibee
Posted 3/28/2016 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for the welcome^u^
Posted 3/28/2016 4:22 PM (GMT 0)
ZC,

Wishing you the best on your start up and continued journey to wellness!

Keep us posted , and we'll keep you in support.:)

S.C.
Posted 3/29/2016 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hey, I had the same problem with my parents saying the same thing. My exes mom didn't have it and didn't really mind me having it she was supportive. Than I found out the grandmother had the same thing. So that was a plus. Now, my mom and my grandma tell me not to tell my boyfriend when I don't feel well, because news might travel to his mom and than that no one wants a person with problems... Little do they know it's best to tell people about anxiety because than they don't freak out when you do, and it feels better in general that you don't have to hide it. I tell everyone lol, anyways... Goodluck
Posted 3/29/2016 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Zelda, above you stated that you should not be too concerned about what others think, let me add
something to that, "Don't be concerned about what your sub-conscious thinks either, all fear has it's
strength and weakness within us". It has absolutely no power except what we allow, it cant walk, run,
fly, it's helpless like an infant, It needs to be spanked and put to bed, I wish you Peace!

Larry ***
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