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Posted 3/30/2016 1:35 AM (GMT 0)
Good Afternoon
This is my first post on the site
I think I am going a bit mad and need some advice!

6 mths ago my mother passed away suddenly and I was travelling in Australia and had to return home to look after things and mind my father, my boyfriend moved with me no questions asked
we stayed 6mths a little longer then expected and lived with my father it put our relationship under some stress as I guess it wasn't ideal for a young couple (were mid 20's) who had been living in their own apt to be back in my childhood bedroom!
I never really grieved I handled things very well...too well it seems now
Im a go getter and I arrived home and took over things like dinners for dad and funeral arrangements etc. I got a job and had all my mates around we were always busy busy busy
Over the Christmas period I had a fling and my boss (who is also a friend) it started as a silly kiss at an xmas party and I believe it was a cry for help he pursued me and I enjoyed the flirt and the attention but we soon ended it and I came clean and told me partner in Jan and from there it felt that everything just hit me and I spiralled into a depression I seen a councillor but it just made me worse
we have since moved away together just us to finish our travelling and agreed to give things another go he believes I wasn't in a right state of mind and we wanted a fresh start I am very happy about this and that he is so forgiving
he is a great guy and we are best friends we never fight and I love him very much and feel so safe with him but I cannot move past that I cheated
we don't speak of it anymore (it was 3mths ago now) and we agreed to let it lie but I cant stop thinking about how awful I am etc
I lost my feel for life im usually so happy and positive and I feel ruined now
I went to the doc and I am on 10mg of escitalopram (I have a review app in 3 weeks and I am thinking 20mg might be needed)
I see an improvement on the tablets already but just not enough I am in better form but sometimes I question if I am happy? is this what I want? do I love him? do I fancy him? and logically the answers to all these are yes....I know they are yes but sometimes I just seem to panic
I feel my brain can get noisy and he knows all this and is so supportive and working with me to get me back
I want this feeling to go away so I can go back to being me

Any advice welcome!!

thanks!
Posted 3/30/2016 2:39 AM (GMT 0)
Hi WL,

First of all my condolences on your loss. This is undoubtedly difficult still...so I encourage you have patience with your self and the process of grieving and adjusting.

Previous to this, did you have have struggles with anxiety and/or depression. I ask because this could be a relapse/flare up of an underlying issue...triggered by your grief...

...or simply a situational issue, understandably.

It is good that you have sought help in the form of getting your Rx...

...have you also considered therapy and/or self help? I can recommend both...

...and for the latter, please see our Resources at the top of the main forum page here for great material. Practicing the suggested coping skills will make a big difference in how you feel!

As far as dealing with the negative thoughts, feelings and guilt in regards to the infidelity...I recommend working through these with our Therapy Worksheet Downloads in the Resources. Going through this tool will help process and diffuse the challenges you are facing. (let me know if you'd like me to post the direct link)

Finally, keep posting with us if you find it helpful. We understand, care and support is key!

Talk soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 3/30/2016 2:42 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for your reply
nope I have never had any feelings like so the doctor also reckoned it was a situational issue
I will check out resources now thanks again!
Posted 3/30/2016 2:44 AM (GMT 0)
@scardycat also if you could post the link directly for the worksheets that would be amazing!!

Post Edited (wanderluster) : 3/29/2016 8:51:51 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 3/30/2016 3:17 AM (GMT 0)
Okay...got it. :)

You are doing all the right things and good taking good steps toward feeling your best again...

...you are going to get through this!

Here is that link: www.get.gg/freedownloads2.htm

Post with us as long as you need to. :)

S.C.
Posted 3/30/2016 3:46 AM (GMT 0)
Losing a loving parent is very difficult.Infidelity is emotional problem and your inner guilt fixed you and healed you by coming forth to your partner.
You are brave and you are on process to heal yourself.

Good luck.
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