Posted 4/14/2016 11:58 AM (GMT 0)
Upon reading your anxiety attack I finally found someone other than I to explain to my wife how it feels. I have tried explaining this feeling to my doctor, I have gone as far as expressing it as a feeling of having my brain floating in a bucket of jello. I am seeing a Psychologist who has been trying to help me with the anxiety, I know exactly how this came to be, I have looked back into my life's experiences and it is all stress related, now for the cure, I know it will take a long time, I have been this way for or since the age of 8yrs old, if you can believe this, yes, I have said that I am happy to now be a grandpa and still married to my HS girlfriend 41 years but that how ever, if I know that my death is near, well I will go without complaint, there is a part of my brain that is so tired I can not explain it. On the positive note, I now do all things slowly, I wash my hands as if I were going to perform a critical operation on someone, I write slowly concentrating on neatness, I drive at speed limit no matter who is trying to push me faster from the rear, I am completely free of fear, when my chest gets tight and I feel little room for air, I start to inhale deeply and slowly for a repeated 15 times and for me this helps me to take control or it relaxes me well enough. Its almost like telling a little child, its okay,its okay, its okay ect. I know why I am this way, so while doctors know how to keep me alive, I know the cure, I have to reverse my way of life, totally or I will die soon. I experienced just about everything that I have read in these comments, I even have somethings that I am the only one so far to know, I have a numbness on my right hip to my chest covering my back area kidney area that is so powerful it challenges me when I go out for walking exercise, I mean it is so that its painful in a different way, but I go anyway, if I am to drop out on the road or in the beautiful wooded area of the park in which I workout so be it, I will continue on. I know that part of my cure is mental. I sometimes feel like I am going to have the same ending the Don on the God Father had, when he was playing with his grandson and fell to his rest, my grandson tells me, lets run PaPa and after about 300yards I feel my chest like there is a heart attack near by, so I stop only cause I don't want to leave my grandson out in the street with grandpa dead on his hands. Its okay, have no fear, do take your time without worry, I heard a saying, when its your time, even if you get out of the way, when its not your time, even if you get in the way. I thank you and all who reach out in quest for information so we all learn the how and why to get better.