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Posted 6/16/2016 2:09 AM (GMT 0)
I wonder if I am in a serious bad place I cannot escape these thoughts. I am doing everything in my power to stay focused and fight, on one hand I have strength and on the other hand I am emotionally a wreck. Today I ended up in that place again where I took a whole lot of medicine out and sat it in front of me, and begin to wonder if I went live on social media would someone get to me in time aren't. Just sharing my thoughts I am literally ready to throw my phone away, I don't watch TV because I hate news but I end up on facebook and see horrible crap that makes me cry and I don't understand how people can be so evil like there is so much hate in this world it is ridiculous and sickness me to the core. I wish for joy, peace, and happiness I mean why all the hell no one is safe these days. And everywhere you turn around people are leaving and this scares me, I just don't understand why I mean literally I know I am not the only one but I just don't understand. And I just want to get past this hurdle so I can start to live already, I've lost so much of my life trapped in fear I am beyond sick of it and I know there has got to be better than this I know there has got to be. These thoughts that go through my head aren't healthy at all, how I got here this bad where I am in depression and deal with panic disorder the heck if I know. But I know I must face this fear head on because if I don't, it will continue to hunt me and control my life and there is no more of that I deserve to be happy.
Posted 6/16/2016 2:45 AM (GMT 0)
I feel so bad for you Soul. I wish I could ease your burden somehow.

(hug)
Posted 6/16/2016 3:06 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry your going through this.
Posted 6/16/2016 3:37 AM (GMT 0)
Soul I'm so so sorry your feeling this way and the truth is I don't know who you are or what you look like and what life experiences you my of had. however I feel your pain and I know what your going though. I can honestly say I feel your pain cause I suffer the same. Today at work I was fighting a panic attack. It was so bad that I wanted to run out of there screaming. Then when the attack subsides the terrible depression kicks in and I feel so sad I can't deal with my thoughts cause much like yourself they are extremely unhealthy and really scare the hell out of me but you have to fight past it all and remember better days are still to come. this is temporary and it will pass…this too shall pass. I went for a walk for an hour and said that to myself over and over so just remember
to every dark night comes a bright day and this really is temporary and as much as sometimes even for myself its hard to believe you have to just keep saying it and keep on keeping on. were strong and when we find peace and WE WILL!! it'll make us stronger.

Sending lots of love and peace
your not alone brother remember that
Posted 6/16/2016 4:03 AM (GMT 0)
Soul,

If you are still having thoughts of self harm...I must urge you to call for help.

A hot line, friend, family...anyone you can reach out to.

You are in my thoughts and prayers friend.

Please update us soon, okay?

S.C.
Posted 6/16/2016 8:16 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Soul

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time.

Know that we are here for you so your not alone keep us posted.

Feel free to email me anytime you will find my email in my profile.

Hibee
Posted 6/16/2016 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone please just keep me in your prayers having a difficult time.
Posted 6/17/2016 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
I will Soul. Keep your chin up. We live in a world that is beautiful and vital. It is hard to remember when we're bombarded by negativity in the media and social media. I believe that there are so many more good people than not.
I hope you can see the positive. People you don't even know care more than you think.
Posted 6/17/2016 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
Soul,

I think you are doing great. Even if it is a hard thing to see or believe right now...you are an incredibly strong and brave person.

I know you will get past this challenging time, and go on to be much more at peace...and do great things for others.

You are always in my prayers...and especially so now.

S.C.
Posted 6/17/2016 12:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Soul! I am so sorry you are having such a rough time.

It is easy to get caught up in all the negativity in this world. People can be cruel and so many focus on all the horrible things going on. With all that has happened this week (ie: Orlando, etc) it is also amazing to see all the wonderful support and love in the world.

It has helped me watching all the positive support which has come during the horrible events...I still believe people are inherently good, not evil. The negative can stand out, but there is a lot of support. Focusing on the love and caring helps me a lot.

This group obviously cares about you and wants to help. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to reach out to someone if you are wanting to harm yourself. I have been there, and I know it seems hopeless at times, but afterward, there are always reasons to be glad you hung in there.

Praying for you to see the positives today and to know how important you are and feel the love and prayers being sent your way!
Posted 6/18/2016 4:00 AM (GMT 0)
Dawn, this life is not our's it belongs to God, He gave it to us as a gift in order to perform a mission for
Him, this life is a "job", we can't just quit, My Prayers are always with you. Peace

Larry ***
Posted 6/18/2016 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
Soul,

Firstly, how is your relationship with God? Secondly, I empathize with everything you said. How can anyone be mean to an innocent dog? How can someone abduct a child? It's a hard thing to realize and accept, but some people are just wired differently than others. Somehow, some people have no conscience. I suggest you go watch or at least listen to what Jimmy Fallon said on the Tonight Show this past Monday night. SC, perhaps you can attain the link for her from my FB?

If you're living your life in fear, are you really living? Anything can happen anywhere at anytime. Do what you enjoy doing and don't let anyone or anything keep you from it. Whatever will be will be. Only God knows when our time is up. It's up to Him. Let's take a hypothetical situation and I'll use myself. I recently discovered my love for riding bicycles again. Why did I stop in the first place? Let's say I go out and I get hit by a car and perish? It was just my time. At least everyone can say I died doing what I loved. That's a good way to go, right? Right. ;)

I can't stress watching the Jimmy Fallon video enough, okay? It's less than five minutes.
Posted 6/18/2016 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
Here's that link...

Very beautiful and full of hope in the face of tragedy. ..

/youtu.be/yl8Xg9FdPNc

S.C.
Posted 6/18/2016 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
Thank yoomz!
Posted 6/19/2016 2:19 PM (GMT 0)
Sending hugs your way Soul stay strong we are here for you.

Hibee
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