BABIES

So this is a hard subject for me I always thought about having kids but anxiety greatly stops me from it I'm so afraid to get pregnant and have any issues SVT more palpitation dying durning birth high blood pressure and omg the pain. I get huge adrenaline rush just with every day basic things I don't know if I can mentally or physically handle carrying a child then they say after birth if you have really bad anxiety you are more prone to postpartum depression. I'm going to be 35 years old in November I've been with my husband 17 years married seven years this is very depressing for me but I'm happy I can come to the site write it and have people talk with me about it because it's hard to talk with other people about it but don't suffer from anxiety .

Oh my goodness...you sound exactly like me when I was at the stage of whether or not to have children. (I am 52 now and have two awesome kids).

I regarded having children as a liken to being hung on a cross to die. I was petrified of it. Everything about it-the pregnancy, the childbirth and all the medical aspects of it. I was scared to death of anything medical-even just the simplest needle, let alone any blood to be shed.

Well, all I can say is that thank God it just happened for me instead of intentionally planning it or I would have never of had my first child.

I can tell you that it was not anywhere close to what I had imagined. Yes, I had minor issues during pregnancy but everything was treatable and I just dealt with it as it came. The birth itself was no where near as bad as I had thought. I took everything they offered me-drugwise and it was a great experience. I had a healthy 9lb. baby delivered naturally with no complications.

Went so well, I did it one more time and had a daughter. (first time a son)
They have been the light of my life. My reason to be here on earth. The joy
is immeasurable.

Your post really clicked with me because I remember that fear oh so well. If left to my own devices my anxiety would have robbed me of it all. That would have been tragic.

Only you know what you can handle but I just want to tell you that becoming a mother was the greatest gift I have ever received. I believe it was divine intervention and God's will for me. He made the decission for me. I was not capable of it.

When you are thinking of all that can go wrong....just keep in mind how manageable most medical pregnancy issues are. If you are worried about the depression afterwards(which I had pretty bad) you can take an antidepressant and that can get you through it.

I would just hate for you to miss out on this because of fear. You would hate yourself the rest of your life if you let your anxiety win on this. If having a child is what your heart truly wants, then think of ways you can get yourself to a more calm state and discuss all your concerns with an OB/GYN. Trust me, you are not the first person to be scared of all this.

Are you currently getting any help with your anxiety issues? Does anxiety bother you in other areas of your life as well? If it does, take it from one who's been there. Anxiety can be successfully treated and your life can go on with greater joy instead of dread.

I wish you well on your decission.
Peace.
Linda

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this decision! How does your husband feel?

I can tell you that I have panic disorder, health anxiety and GAD and I have 2 boys, 1 is 3.5 and 1 is 4 months!

Pregnancy is a stressful time, but you can totally get through it if that's what you want! I had the help of a supportive husband and many doctors, including a therapist both times. I even took some meds through both pregnancies.

My first was pretty uncomplicated with the exception of gestational diabetes which really wasn't a huge deal, I had an epidural and was able to deliver that way. It was hard, but so cool and I've never felt more proud of myself in my life!

My second did land me on bedrest and in the hospital a few times but only because he kept trying to come early! I had gestational diabetes again but it was even easier to manage this time! I ended up needing a c-section because this little guy was breech and while I didn't love this experience as much, I would totally do it again to get this little boy! I do have slightly elevated blood pressure now, but my doctors have told me that it was only triggered by pregnancy but is actually because it runs on both sides of my family. So I take a beta blocker and a water pill and now my BP is perfect. Plus I don't mind the beta blocker cause it keeps my heart rate nice and low which helps with my anxiety!

In regards to PPD....I totally had that same fear! However, you are going into it prepared! You know you're at risk, so if you see the signs you talk to your doctor and boom, you handle it! I did not experience PPD or PPA with either child. Just my normal anxiety so I'm back to using my benzo and I'm currently starting up Zoloft again.

With the right support, anything is possible!

Hi Kittay!

I am on the same boat, but maybe a little difference. I do not want kids. That's what I decided long time ago. Though, with this condition, even imagining having kids gives me great amount of anxiety. So I try not to think about it.
Thinking about your age is not going to help either!

So I decided to let it go. This is a matter of choice. If your husband agrees with your decision and show respect, then there is no problem.

You really shouldn't feel like you MUST have kids. That's just another way of living your life.
Oh and yes if you want kids, as Larry mentioned, adoptions is an option. :)

So many people in my family think that I run away from responsibilities and I am a lazy person just because I decided not to have kids. But I always think about pros and cons of having a kid with an anxiety disorder, with so much bodily symptoms which prevent me from doing things sometimes... also not mentioning about my husband's anorexia/depression condition.

Please don't mind other people. They will never understand but we will understand and support you no matter what.