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a treat for my flight today

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Posted 10/15/2016 1:44 PM (GMT 0)
I just wanted to share with you.... I normally embrace my precious holidays away from all the daily sress of my job.
Today my beloved and i are travelling to portugal from the Uk. because of this last couple of weeks anxiety i have been dreading the packing, sorting, etc etc and even though i normally love the airport and the flight i have been so worked up ☹

However im now packed what normally takes me half an hour to throw some summer clothes in a bag has taken me all morning , im double treble checking i have got my passport etc etc, which i dont usually. 😐 which i know is heightening my anxiety.

But i am determined that myself and my partner will have the R and R that we need, so for the next hour before we leave for the airport arghh!! and breathe... I am going to lie on my bed and do some coping techniques. found in the resource part of this site.

But for on the flight i have downloaded an audio book, as i cant concentrate on physical pages at the moment. My friend recomended it and i have listened to some already and it's brilliant. the name tickled me and made me smile .. It's called sync souls audio pill.. anxiety relief...

I will let you know if i floated off the plane so chilled and relaxed..
I will check in with you guys in the week. and thank you all for comments and support it,s you that has helped me make the descision that i can do this today 😘 As on monday it was not happening xx
Posted 10/15/2016 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
G.,

Have a wonderful trip...I know you will!!

You have done great preparation to ensure that you will be calm and ready for your holiday.:)

Well done...and yes...go grab some of that Zen that you need and deserve. We are all cheering you on!.

Come back with lots of experiences for us to live vicariously through!!!

Fun and safe travels,

S.C
Posted 10/15/2016 3:40 PM (GMT 0)
Have fun Gilly! I hope it's the trip of a lifetime!
Posted 10/16/2016 4:51 AM (GMT 0)
gilly, that trip sounds amazing! I think the "fake it till you make it" strategy is sometimes a great way to do it! Keep moving forward, even if it takes us longer or a ton more effort.

I'm reading a book (about anxiety and exercise as a coping strategy) and one thing it is talking about is strengthening your "effort muscle." Even though this is taking a ton of effort currently, the next anxiety inducing activity will be easier because you'll have a stronger "effort muscle."

So great work! Enjoy that relaxation!
Posted 10/16/2016 8:29 AM (GMT 0)
Well .. The first leg of the journey. Taxi to the airport -Pure anxiety at its best/worse. I couldnt get a decent breath to calm me , my hearing went , pins and needles every where and my thought pattern was off the scale. So i decided to break a 2mg of diazapam into 4 peices and take one (wimp) all this in the back of a taxi .. if the driver noticed he must have thought i was an ageing druggie.

I was trying to control my breathing and get calmer the anxiety seemed to be throwing everything at me, so i got cross in my head.. Just GO AWAY let me get to the airport... Well my stern words worked (well the bit of diazepam did) i settled a bit but i was really just feeling the fear and doing it any way. I could have so easily just run back home , but i needed this and so did my partner. It is just as hard for your loved ones to see you like this but not fully understand the sheer strength of the rollercoaster that fear does to your body and mind.

to be continued😎
Posted 10/16/2016 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
Rock on Gilly! Way to fight through!
Posted 10/16/2016 2:38 PM (GMT 0)
Weird to think i did this same journey 6 months ago without even thinking about, so this time while in the airport , doing every coping tip i could think of not to get out of their and go home i looked around and wondered how many other people there were going through the same turmoil. We never really know.
Any way i had paid for fast track through to the departure lounge as i knew the quieing would freak me out, Boarding the plane wasnt as bad as i anticipated. Uncomfortable and couldnt speak but i didnt faint i didnt die I had made it.

I prebooked seats so no one waa sat in front of us and i wouldnt feel hemmed it, Headphones on as soon aa we were allowed to have techie things on, Flying doesnt scare me its the restlessness thats the prob with no where to hide /run.

For 45Mins i had my audio book soul sync audio pill on, and felt quite good even dozed . I just kept my head phones on even when that was finished as all the chatting and voices on the plane were getting to me, breathing helped well of course it did ... but you know what i mean.
o
Focus focus to get me out the other end , in to taxi and to the hotel .. faking it till i make it again. 1.30am finally in my hotel room .. No chance of sleep i was totally wired but shattered from all the adrenalin id produced from 5pm till then. Put some of scaredy cats lovely music with binaural beats and finally dozed off 3amish dammed difficult with headphones but didnt want to disturb the man snoring at my side.
I hope ur all ok with me sharing this journey..
Catch u later
And i would love to hear more about the effort muscles xx

and thanks for your comments xx

Post Edited (gilly2) : 10/16/2016 8:42:30 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/16/2016 4:23 PM (GMT 0)
Okay with you sharing?!? We demand it...lol!!! ;p

Awesome job...you rocked it out friend!

ENJOY the rest of your holiday...and update when you can.

Hugs and high fives!

S.C.
Posted 10/16/2016 4:42 PM (GMT 0)
Good job gilly, you made it! Now it's time for FUN and RELAXATION!!! Woo hoo!!
Posted 10/16/2016 6:26 PM (GMT 0)
I'd love to hear updates as long as they don't get in the way of your fun!
Posted 10/16/2016 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
proactive and positive. thumbs up.
Posted 10/16/2016 10:53 PM (GMT 0)
You are doing an amazing job!! Keep up the great work!!
Posted 10/17/2016 10:31 AM (GMT 0)
Aw thanks you peeps your amazing. 1st day quite anxious and uncomfortable for most of the morning so just sat on our terrace sunning myself , trying not to beat myself up being in such a beautiful place and not able to appreciate it at the moment.
Its too hot to try a walk so unable to walk off the anx ☹ At least i can concentrate on reading and thats helping.. My darn brain still mithers that i should be doing stuff so i got my head into gear and we had a little stroll to a shop for food..(cant bring myself to eat in the hotel restaurant) Im working up to that one.
Back at our suite i needed to do some calming excersises, feeling guilty that im spoiling it for my other half he reassures me its ok but that doesnt stop the guilt.
We both went for a sleep at 3pm and when i woke up 3 hours later , i felt better so we had food , then a short stroll round our hotel.. Then sadly i wanted to be back at our room but i still felt ok ish, we stayed up chatting till 10.30 Me with fresh orange juice and D with a couple of Vodka and cokes. I needed my bed by then its so tiring as you all know when your body has been on alert.

I slept right through till 6am which was brilliant... So today is another day . Wish me luck 😉
Posted 10/17/2016 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
Good luck! Is swimming an option to burn off some adrenaline?
Posted 10/17/2016 2:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hey, a good night sleep will do a world of good!! Yay!
Posted 10/17/2016 3:04 PM (GMT 0)
G.,

Sounds like a mixed bag here and there...but mostly really good on your part, due to your efforts! Recognize all that you are able to do...and celebrate the victories. :)

You are there, and doing the best that you possibly can...and that is enough.

Today will be another day with some challenges, no doubt...but repeating one of my favorite mantras might help...?

"Today, I can handle anything that comes my way."

Simple but powerful....

...and TRUE! ;)

Go get 'em!

S.C.
Posted 10/17/2016 3:10 PM (GMT 0)
cool tongue :-) turn :-) smilewinkgrin wink...

...and by 'them', I mean some delicious tapas/seafood and an exotic drink/port...? ;)

S.C.
Posted 10/18/2016 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
Day 3 of my holiday. I am skipping day 2 as it was not good from waking to going back to bed.. So i am not going to dwell on that.
Was dreading the anxiety knot in my tum as soon as i wakened so i listened to a morning meditation, It didnt really help and i was so disapointed .. I didnt want another day ruined so i decided to use one of the tabs my GP had given me to break the cycle. Being a wimp at taking tabs i broke a 2mg into 4 like i did in the taxi , half a milligram wasnt going to make me a zombie was it?
After a good talk to my self we made it to breakfast in the hotel, just a bit uncomfortable but i did it. I stopped the thoughts in my head that were telling me .. U didnt make it .. its the half a milligram of diazapam.

After breakfast i didnt give my self time to dwell , i told D to get his shades were going for a walk. So we got down to the beach and walked for about 2 miles to a little village we walked round some shops YES shops and enjoyed the beautiful view. We got back on the beach and walked another mile ( i wear a fit bit) so iknow exactly how far, we came to a bustling fishermans wharf and meandered round sat looking out on the sea D with a pint and me with fresh squeezed oranges. It was getting very hot by know so we got a taxi back for 3 euros , It was almost 2pm and i was on a roll, so i said lunch on me.

We walked to a little potugese cafe, i had fresh tuna and D had a burger !!! and a pint. I didnt panic i didnt run.. Was that little half a milligram still working after 5 hours or was i .me. myself actually anxiety free for a while, had it broke the cycle?o

We walked back to our hotel and actually sat by the pool for an hour, I had a virgin cocktail and the D a pint... A rest was needed and after 3 pints D was snoring on a lounger at our apartment ,

While he is sleeping im sat here smiling to my self i had told him about all your tips and quotes etc on our beach walk.Id told D "today i can handle anything that comes my way" when he asked what if you cant.. I told him no what if,s .. but if there is i will fake it till i make it

How different can 2 days be 😎.
Posted 10/18/2016 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
G.,

That was all you my friend!! YOU went to the doctor and got the help you needed. YOU pushed through your aversion to taking a pill, and did it anyway. YOU went beyond the time that your med's efficacy was still in effect. YOU used your coping skills and pushed aside the what-ifs!!!

Amazing job...I love this report. :) :) :)

You can draw upon this experience for future challenges. When the doubts and what-ifs start yammering in your thoughts...

respond with, "What if I CAN?"...wait...

..."I DID!" ;)

Have another victorious day...you know it is possible!!

S.C.
Posted 10/18/2016 3:31 PM (GMT 0)
Bless you SC xx 😊
Posted 10/18/2016 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
gilly - medication or not, YOU still control your body! So like SC said, it was all you!!! It sounds like you had a wonderful, wonderful day.
Posted 10/18/2016 5:46 PM (GMT 0)
Way to get it done!! You did a great job! Keep having fun!!!
Posted 10/19/2016 10:05 AM (GMT 0)
That's great Gilly. I'm really happy for you!
Posted 10/19/2016 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
It really helps on this site you are all amazing
I am happy for me too 🤗
Day 4
Still the same anxiety on waking, not as severe but i put my stroppy head on , and told myself again "anything you throw at me today i can cope with" So short walk after breakfast (ignored the dizzy and light head) and it went off, its such a powerful feeling when your more in control.
Lay by the pool for a while but felt myself getting restless and funny eye focus which i recognise as one of my triggers. So beach walk and sure enough it cleared.
A lovely lunch and a couple of hours reading in the sun.. I did sit expecting some symptoms (i suppose after such high levels of anx over the past few weeks you dont trust it not to manifest itself in to something)
Any way it didnt been to the bar and shop, Now just having a cool down and chill before getting ready for Tea.
I am so glad i broke through the pain anxiety barrier to do this and actually get here.. All this vit D in the sun, Vit C in my fresh Oranges, no bleepers from work, phone contact only with my daughters on whats app.
No alarm clock to get up for work...Oh yes it was definatly worth pushing my self.. even though at the time i thought i was going to die xx
I didnt 🙂
I hope you all ok and keeping as well as you can be 😘😎
Posted 10/19/2016 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
cool :-) :-) smilewinkgrin tongue turn wink

You rock!!! I am so glad you did it too! :)

Continue to enjoy...and thanks for updates...it's like a mini vacation imagining the views from your descriptions. ;)

Definitely on my travel list!

S.C.
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