Anxiety, Hypochondriac, scared of death.

So, to start off I'm 19, in pretty good shape I suppose, about to go to college and work 2 jobs. I used to go to the gym 5 days a week, hangout with friends, and never had any problems until last month. Well, I've always been sort of an over-worrier. I always worry more than others about certain things, but it has never really affected me. Well, that was over a month ago before literal hell on earth started for me. So, go back to about a month ago, normal day, went to work fine, got off went to the gym, had a good workout and felt real good about myself because I've been seeing great muscle mass results. So I get home, play a few games of madden and listen to music and everything is alright. So I'm sitting there and I kind of feel my heart beating and I think to myself, "is this normal?" I keep focusing on it until my full attention is on my heartbeat which has increased in rate due to my overthinking it and by this time the only thing on my mind is something is wrong. I immediately freak out, start pacing around, think im about to die, just constant on edge feeling and I go ahead and call 911 saying I think I'm having an heart attack. The ambulance arrives, they check me out, they check my vital signs, say my blood pressure is normal except my heart rate is a bit high, and after listening to what I said happened they tell me I probably had a panic attack and that I'll be fine, and don't worry about it. So they leave and here I am feeling completely depersonalized. I feel like nothing is real and I'm going crazy. I try to go to sleep and after 3 hours I finally do. The next 3 days I felt like nothing was real and I was in a dream. I felt just like everything wasn't really happening and my mind was going blank and I couldn't speak without stuttering or messing up. 2 days later, I snap out of it. I feel normal again, I go back to the gym, start doing things normal again until a week later I was alone in my bedroom and I started to rethink about what happened. No more than 1 minute later, my depersonalization and my heart racing is back. This time I try to convince myself I'm fine and I try to go to sleep. Bad idea, when I was falling asleep with extreme anxiety it caused me to have a hypnic jerk which set my anxiety and heart rate racing. I didn't fall asleep til 9 the next morning because of being afraid. The whole day I could feel my heart beat in my chest, but my blood pressure and heart rate were fine. I went to the doctor, he ran tests, listened to my heart and said everything was normal and that it was just anxiety. I was relieved, went home and felt great. But the next day I started to feel a bit off and immediately started googling symptoms. Since then I have been a major hypochondriac and am very afraid that I'm dying every second. I have convinced myself that I have cancer, MS, Diabetes and much more. Now every second I feel like I'm losing my mind and that I'll never get better. I get headaches, I feel sick to my stomach, I can't go to the gym anymore because I'm afraid my heart will blow up, and I constantly feel anxious and on edge or that something bad will happen every second. I can't go to sleep without medicine or I will jerk awake with anxiety. My depersonalization has returned and I don't feel normal at all. I never have good thoughts anymore, and I'm very afraid I'm going to die any second. Is this really what generalized anxiety disorder does to someone? Can I fix it alone, or should I go back to the doctor and get medicine prescribed? I'm very exhausted from this.

Well Son, i wish you were somewhere else having fun but we need to deal with "what is", and not "what if", it sounds like my first panic attack, anxiety is a pretty normal thing even though its not a wonderful thing to deal with but you can control anxiety. Panic is another more primitive night mare. Not just bad anxiety its a tough beast, but it also has its limits, and those limits are right between your ears!
Panic for most of us is controlled by the subconscious mind and it dont ask permission to jump on us in the dark. Remember you were feeling ok and then it hit, you do not have to do or think anything to have a panic attack, we use a phrase here, "out of the blue" and that is what it seems like. For most people our first panic attack is the first real time we ever faced our mortality! Yes that instant in time when we realize that one day we will be dead, in my case i was a young soldier and i still remember it was like being face to face with the angel of death whom looked me in the eye and said your going to die, i will come for you, if there had been somewhere to run besides the jungle or a mine field i would still be running in the night screaming.
The circumstances are sometimes very different, some wake up from a fitful dream with heart pounding,
others just have this instant thought, "i'm going to die", then we are off to the adrenalin olympics.
You can beat this and will but you need some help from a good doctor or therapist, it helps if the doctor has experience dealing with Anxiety/Panic, do what the doctor says, and stay off google unless you like living in fear. One other thing man to man, if you are using anything to enhance your work outs stop!
You don't need it to build healthy muscle. I know this all new with you but continue reading here and you will get a better idea what we deal with daily, just remember this last thing, "no one has ever died from panic and anxiety", it ain't fun but it sure aint fatal. Peace
Larry ***

This hits home because everything you said is going on is literally me! It's so hard to deal with I know! The worst part for me is he depersonalization and derealization because it feels like you're walking in a foggy dream. I myself live in constant fear. Then I think wow I'm 26 and have spent the past 6 or so years on and off limiting myself and not having any sort of real life. I don't know what it takes to just listen to the doctors and believe you're ok because I have yet to figure that out yet. But sometimes when I get really bad I will call my mom and cry and let it all out and she has it too and she was just as bad and just having her talk me down makes me feel a lot better. Or I have gone to the hospital and sat in the parking lot for an hour...not going in just sitting there reminding myself that I have felt these feelings before and gone into the ER with the same feelings and have been told the same thing. A panic attack! Then I'll come back down from it and realize if something was really wrong I wouldn't feel better! We just need to believe that things will get better. They have to!

Also, stay away from pre-workout and anything to boost your energy. That usually triggers panic attacks for me.