Hey family,
I had a scary episode this morning. I was on my way into the store, after dropping my daughter at school...as I picked up my purse, and pulled it over my shoulder and tucked my arm in, I felt a sore spot on the side of my breast, just below my armpit.
I went into the bathroom to check it out, and it turns out to be a big swollen lymph node. Hmmm...my worries kick in, so what do I do? Yep, I google it, and up pops lymphoma/leukemia, ect...
Well, I start to feel clammy, nauseous right there in the store, but think I can press on. I try to steady my breathing and use positive mantras, but its too late.
I abandon my cart and start for my car. I am getting wobblier by the second, but try to
just get there! Big mistake...I end up fainting in the parking lot, twice. :/
It has been a long time since this has happened. My anxiety is almost purely centered on health issues. While I have the daily worries managed...I am obviously a long way from dealing with strange things that pop up, such as a swollen gland...
...and I really need to go to the doctor and have a check up, but can't seem to bring myself to do so. I am scared at this point of 'what they might find.'
I know what I need to do...it is just getting to the point of being able to do it. I guess I just needed to get this out, and this also serves as somewhat of a confession that I don't have it as together as it may seem.
Could use some encouragement friends...
S.C.