Support to help with severe health anxiety

Hi all, just wanted to introduce myself, and maybe get some support for a current HA episode. I'm 54 and have had HA all my life (mostly around cancer, but also other diseases). I always catastrophise, and then it leads into compulsive thinking and horrible anxiety symptoms (GERD, loss of appetite, palpitations, etc) and checking, which I try and stop doing but then it becomes very OCD-like. One thing though, I refuse to allow myself to Google (been there, done that). I also worry about other things, like leaving my stove on, or things happening to my children or other family, or to my dog.

I go between not seeing doctors (because I am scared of what they might find) or seeing them every couple of weeks. Or seeing ones that I am not too afraid of, or if I do see them, being too scared to tell them what I am actually afraid of and assuming they will miraculously figure it out... I just had a whole lot of blood tests and everything was normal (they tested everything seemingly).

I don't take medication (tried Zoloft, it sort of worked but I didn't like the side effects). I also do meditation and physical exercise which help to some extent.

I do have a family history of heart disease, and myself have arrhythmia and high blood pressure, yet, bizarrely, I am not in the slightest afraid of heart disease (which given my family history, should be the major disease risk factor). I know where my HA came from; my mother has severe HA, and I have a childhood and adult history of trauma, but that doesn't help much. I've done (and am currently doing) psychotherapy, and it helps some. I also am fully aware that I am not being rational, and I overthink everything and that the worst possible scenario is generally not likely to happen, but when I am in the middle of a severe HA attack, nothing seems to work.

Currently, I was stressing about a small bump on my chest (I have been putting off having my regular mammogram and someone I know died of breast cancer, so the longer I put it off, the more stressed I get...) anyway, it turned out to be a pimple which had a lump under it because I have been squeezing it too hard...no comment) but then I noticed that a mole which I have had for ages, which hasn't changed, but has a bump under it which I don't recall feeling before, and now I am being paranoid about this. I went to a skin cancer specialist and he said he wasn't particularly concerned, but he could remove it if I was worried. So I have scheduled it to be removed and checked in 2 weeks time (he didn't seem to be in any hurry), and now I am panicking and can't stop thinking about worst case scenarios, even though I get my skin checked regularly (yearly or more often), and the last time I had a dodgy mole (which was black and irregular and started changing, which this one isn't, the doctor took one look at it and removed it that day...it was ok, though, thank goodness).

My doctors all know I have HA (one even asked me what I was dying from this week!) but I am still worried, can't sleep properly, can't eat, can't concentrate at work, terrified of the worst possible things that could happen, and starting to get depressed too...

I have gone through a lot of the resources, so thank you very much, but any support would be much appreciated.

Thank you very much; yes, I am in a dip right now, been there for the last couple of weeks, and it is horrible... I really appreciate the support

Thanks so much. I've been through some of the material, I especially like the one from the WA Health Service; and I bought the Kindle version of one of the books listed.

I am in therapy, but after the initial appointment, couldn't get another until 8 March as she only works one day a week (and this is a work funded program, so I don't have a huge choice) but yes, I specifically asked for someone who practices CBT and I was very happy with the initial meeting.

Another resource I find incredibly useful are the podcasts of Tara Brach, which although she does not specifically speak about anxiety, she has many very useful talks on facing fear...

Hope you don't mind me sharing the link: https://www.tarabrach.com/

I'm new here ( Hello Everyone)and I can definitely relate to Hermes555. I am 52, prior Army, Prior Police, Prior Normal Person. I now have PTSD & Anxiety Disorder (GAD), these come with physical ailments, both real (like GERD), and 'phantom' (like the many diseases I've researched and have imagined I have). Lately it started with sinusitis and my right ear clogged (Eustachian tube) after getting my 7 day supply of Amoxicillin and steroid nasal spray I came to the brilliant conclusion that since I had xtra Amoxicillin around the house I should take that also, to better heal of course, and I also overused the steroid nasal spray, again to heal better and deal with the 'disease'...all this overuse led to my tongue getting a bunch of white patches. So back to the Doctor, now I have Nystatin for my tongue since I killed all the good bacteria, and I had a GERD episode (acid / coughing / irritated throat etc).
I reasoned that the sinus and ear problem was some kind of throat cancer, then the white tongue thing I switched all that to HIV, now its back to Cancer (Lung this time since the GERD makes me cough).
Its definitely difficult, and Dr Google really hasn't been much help...

Thanks Cat, I like the site, makes me feel like I'm not alone out there...Major Tom and all that

Hello Betsy and welcome to the A/P!

Like I mentioned in the above post...please take advantage of our great Resources at the top of the main forum page here...

...read, respond, share and vent here, you are supported in our community...

...and please make an introductory post for yourself if you feel comfortable doing so.

Glad to have you.

Scaredy Cat

Hi Betsy, I get the same thing, the 'worry' that something is wrong bounces from one illness to another, and funny thing is they are all catastrophic illnesses, not like minor scrapes and bruises, its all the worst ones, interferes with my daily life.