Phobias and irrational obsessional anxiety

I feel like my anxieties are just humiliating, and it's not fair, I don't trust many people to talk to. I feel like I've put myself in a situation where I'm ill when it wasn't necessary and it's abit tricky to deal with and I could get out of it by telling my bf but I really don't want to.

I have stupid phobias like stuff that is tainted and needs to be thrown away, I wish I had any anxiety problem over the ones I have. I'm learning to think of the consequences before doing something, without anxiety I'm naturally driven, love challenges and think that I'll be ok, but I'm never ok, I'm tired I don't want anxiety anymore I want a proper break. I avoid places and things, I can never make decisions based on what I want in life but based on how I can get around my phobias and crazy anxiety. He wants me to visit him in Ireland and I can't, I wish I could just break up with him and run away but silly me got pregnant and I keep avoiding going, I don't want to be humiliated by my phobias, they're not even standard ones. It's causing me so much trouble I don't know how I can continue being pregnant which would devastate me.

I've been living in the uk for the last year, I've never felt so ill, so depressed. I absolutely hate living here and just want to pack my bags and head back to Australia, I worry about handling another kid on my own though. The health system here is bad too. I have booked in for a review to help get some cbt counselling, hopefully they see me as quick as they can. In Australia you can just ring up and talk about what's bothering you as soon as you get available appointment, can't even see psychiatrist here the
Waiting list goes for years, some people don't make it before seeing one. Worst decision of my life coming here by far oh and being pregnant. Silly me.