major work stress

Hello All. I came here some times in the past, though not recently. When I visited in the past, some of you (especially SC and Kitt, RIP) were very helpful. I had my first significant bout with anxiety around 5 years ago and it has, since then, manifested itself in various ways. I have tried different things, including CBT, which has been helpful and interesting though not a "cure." I manage to function OK, but the anxiety certainly does impair the quality of my life.

Lately, I have been having pretty severe anxiety about my work. My job is a very competitive and high stress one, so a certain amount of anxiety is probably to be expected. But I have more than the normal amount of stress that others in the same job seem to experience. And things at work that I used to be able to do with very little worry now cause me big stress. I lose sleep over them. I am very well compensated at work so when I tell people I am super stressed about it, a typical response is "I would be willing to deal with a ton of stress if I could have your job." But of course those are people who have never done my job. And money really does not compensate for the stress and anxiety.

One answer for me would be to retire. I am young to retire but I have saved and invested, and I don't live a lavish lifestyle, so I could do that. But I sort of feel like a loser if I retire because I can't handle the stress. I would sort of feel like I "flamed out." I realize that, objectively, I should not feel that way. It would be better to feel like I earned an early retirement through hard work and frugality but I am just not quite ready to retire. And my job is somewhat of an "all or nothing proposition" -- it would be hard to find a way to do it with less stress. I guess I could find a lower stress job even if the pay is less. I am not sure what that would be. But I guess there would be something out there. But then I worry that I would just be anxious about something else (and so took a loss of compensation but without solving the anxiety problem).

Any ideas? Thanks,

Post Edited (medved) : 4/23/2017 11:55:23 AM (GMT-6)

Scaredy Cat said...

Have you done everything you can medically and behaviorally speaking to treat the anxiety...twice? I joke about doing it twice...but you get it. Sometimes we have to re-visit certain areas and techniques before we see the results we need. For example...how is your self help regimen. Are you still practicing daily coping skills? Learning new ones?.

I probably have not done everything that I could be doing. Part of the reason for that is I lead a very busy life -- mostly work related, but also family responsibilities -- so my free time is quite limited. But I have done some things, such as CBT, a pretty weak effort at mindful meditation, and read some books about anxiety. Also worked hard to improve my marriage, which had been a source of stress but is now in a better place.

Scaredy Cat said...

As far as your job goes...is it possible to take an extended vacation or hiatus? Seeing how you feel during a respite may give you an idea of just how much your job is affecting your stress levels.
S.C.

It is conceivable that I could take a 3-6 month leave from work. It would be hard to arrange, but not impossible. But I am thinking that an alternative might be to work for a few more years and then just retire. I just need to find a way to preserve my sanity until then!

Hey Medved,

It seems S.C. has already offered some solid advice. A thought:

Have you considered re-visiting mindfulness meditation? I noticed that you mentioned a weak attempt at it in the past. And while I hate to be a broken record on here (I've mentioned this in several posts this week), a regular practice of mindfulness meditation was one of the few changes I made to my life, when my anxiety was at it's worst, that benefited me tremendously.

Of course, my experience is only anecdotal. But I'm far from the only person to have said as much. And, more and more, science supports it's efficacy.

The biggest trouble is that it has to be a regular practice. Even if only 10 to 15 minutes a day. It's the consistent practice of focussing on the breath, bodily sensations, etc. - without judgement - that can actually alter the brain, and lead to a calmer state of being.

For the same reasons that the corporate world has embraced mindfulness in the past several years, I do think it would benefit you. If you give it another go, I'd suggest following guided meditations by somebody credible. John Kabat-Zinn comes to mind. His "Guided Mindfulness Meditation Series 3" meditations are good, and offer variety. There are plenty of good options out there.

Best regards,

TICHWA

This post helps me as well thanks SC...I'm also back to meditating...you can't trust this devil thing called enxiety.