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Worried and afraid

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 4/20/2017 4:03 AM (GMT 0)
I can imagine it is overwhelming...

...have you been able to talk to anyone you know who has been through it?

Our BC forum isn't very active, but have you considered joining a support group elsewhere for women going through the same?

I want you to keep posting here as well of course...but the more community you can have the better!

((((Hugs)))) and high fives...you are doing amazingly well.

S.C.
Posted 4/20/2017 12:02 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to see what you are going through right now. It is tough, but you have already shown so much strength by not giving up!! You WILL get through it. The surgical field is very powerful these days. I know 3 women who had breast cancer and they ALL survived. You will survive too.

Are you afraid of death from this ? Is that your only fear with this?
Posted 4/30/2017 2:32 AM (GMT 0)
Had my mastectomy on right breast on April 25th. Decided not to do expander surgery at this time. I am home recuperating, trying to get a handle on my anxiety about missing a breast. Pain is tolerable with meds, but so afraid I will start getting really anxious again, once I am a little more social. Most days I am pretty good, but I don't want to mix my clonazepam with the pain med Norco. My husband has been amazing with me. Helping me to get up and even helping me to shower. Hoping I will be fine and not so anxious, but this is all new to me, it has only been 4 days since surgery. I am tired a lot so I rest often to get my strength back. I'm sure I will be posting again soon, so you know my progress.
Posted 4/30/2017 3:24 AM (GMT 0)
IAAM,

Bless you dear heart!!!!

I am so glad that you got through your procedure and are recovering now. Please be patient with yourself and the process of healing. Some days will be good ones, and then there might be a challenging one thrown in there...so try to go with the flow...and take it a day at a time.

I am sure it is going to be an adjustment getting used to the newness of your post-surgery self. This is not only a physical journey...but of course an emotional one as well.

We are here surrounding you with love and support. Try not to anticipate being anxious...but if it happens and you need us...we are here for you friend!

Sending light, healing courage, resilience and many gentle hugs your way.

Update when you feel up to it.

S.C.
Posted 4/30/2017 4:32 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Scaredy Cat, trying to do this one day at a time. Will see my surgeon on Tuesday for my post op exam. Hoping results will show they got all the cancer. So scared about all of this. Hoping no chemo or radiation will be involved. At the onset, they did not think any other treatment would ne necessary. Cancer is a scary thing, and in the past year, lost 2 family members and had a Sister-in-law diagnosed with breast cancer. She just finished all her treatments and at this time is cancer free. That's what I'm hoping for myself.
I am glad I can talk here and just get these things out. It does really help.
Posted 5/1/2017 11:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, just checking in...

...how are you feeling today?

S.C.
Posted 5/2/2017 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
Hi S.C., I am feeling pretty good today. Tomorrow I have appointments with my surgeon, and oncologist. Praying my results are good, but, not going to worry.
Thanks for checking in on me, will let you know what I find out tomorrow.
Have a good night!
Posted 5/2/2017 12:33 AM (GMT 0)
I will be praying too...but I am sure you will get favorable news. 😊 Great job at staying positive!!

(((Hugs)))

S.C.
Posted 5/2/2017 9:16 PM (GMT 0)
lets all hope for the best. you are amazing to get tru this ordeal. I really mean that.
Posted 5/2/2017 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
S.C. and super, back from my appointments and great results. They got all the cancer and lymph nodes were clear. So, at this point i am cancer-free.
Just recuperating now and had 1 drain removed today. Proud of myself for getting through this very stressful day.
Thanks for listening. 💖
Posted 5/2/2017 10:43 PM (GMT 0)
cool smile smile smilewinkgrin wink yeah

YES!!! Celebrating with you! This is the happiest of news!

Enjoy this feeling, and plan a good evening out with the hubs for a celebration!

Hugs and high fives. 😁

S.C.
Posted 5/3/2017 12:11 AM (GMT 0)
S.c., first time out since surgery, even if it was doctor's appointments and I am exhausted. Took a little nap, had dinner and then hubby and I are going out for an ice cream sundae.
I am definitely enjoying this feeling. Been a bad few months.
Posted 1/4/2019 3:09 AM (GMT 0)
It has been about 18 months since I last posted. I am happy to say I am 18 months cancer free. So happy about that.
I am now having really bad anxiety over my mom. She is 92 and in hospice, in stages of end of life. It is the saddest thing to see her so totally helpless. At this point she has stopped eating any kind of solid food, only jello and sherbet and water. She is very confused about everything, not understanding why she can't go home. She has lost so much weight. After my visits with her I am depressed, sad, and anxious. My brain doesn't shut off at night, so I hardly get any sleep. Every time the phone rings my stomach does flip flops wondering if it is a call about my mom. Any suggestions as to how to get some sleep at night?
Posted 1/4/2019 3:38 AM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome back!

Happy to hear of the healing/remission of course...

...but so sorry to hear about your mom. Even though she has lived a long life to such an admirable age...it is never enough time...and always hard to watch a loved one's decline.

The strength that we once depended on...now needs us to stay strong...but it is not easy! I too am coming to terms with my parents aging (they are 82 and 83) and it is really difficult.

You may find that simply talking about it helps. You are welcome to come here and tell us what you are going through and how you are feeling...

...and you may also want to find friends who are going through something similar...to share experiences with.

Journaling is another cathartic activity that helps get the feelings out in the open, and therefore relieve sadness/stress regarding your visits.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both during this time. Post as needed, and continue to work your self help anxiety coping skills daily!

S.C.
Posted 1/7/2019 12:50 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Imamess,

Congrats on being cancer free!

I feel what you are going thru. A couple days ago was the first anniv of the end of my mom's 89th year of life.
She fell and hit her head 6 months prior and it was a steady decline there after. It was a real roller coaster ride and I was 1200 miles away. Dr. said she wouldn't survive a move here and circumstances made it impossible to be there. So I flew back and forth and got her a 24 hr care provider to take care of her in my absence
I had all those wakeful nights of what ifs- what if I didn't get there in time when the call came - what if the call came during my daughters bridal shower I was handling alone or her wedding? How do you make a choice like that?

Don't wish to bog you down with my experiences
The take away is:

I got through it and so will you
it certainly was not pleasant but it was manageable
My worst imaginations in the middle of the night never happened.
May peace be with you- you're in my prayers
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