Cracking under pressure

This is my first time posting on a forum board. I dont know where else to turn seeing as most people I confide in just dont understand. I am 37 and had my first panic attack at 17. It was severe, and led to a few years of agoraphobia. I have overcome most of my fears but recent events have me second guessing my sanity. In 2013, my father took his own life. Last year I had major reconstructive jaw surgery followed by severe complications and infection, I got laid off from work, my boyfriend also got laid off. We are currently trying to sell our house and move to another province but selling our house alone has brought out some major panic attacks. No one has even come to view it.

My boyfriend recently started working again and I am left at home to worry all day. I am also a hypochondriac. For the last 10 days I have felt very dizzy, weak and disoriented. None of my food is digesting and I feel a pain in my thyroid that radiates all the way into my thumb. I also have a new mole that seems sketchy. I have not gone to the doctor because everyone I know assures me it is just my disorder and to try to keep my mind busy or find things to do during the day.

Having panic disorder for 20 years is long enough to recognize the usual symptoms. Racing heart, tingling fingers and lips, palpitations, hyperventilating, etc. But I have never felt tired, lightheaded, nauseous and weak when I am simply sitting and watching tv. I have so much stress on my plate and all I can think about is that I MUST be dying. I just don't know what to do.

Thanks for the reply. So, I did end up feeling so ill that I got my boyfriend to take me to the medi center to get checked out. I SHOULD have made an appointment to see my family doctor instead but it takes forever to get in. I feel really let down. When I went in, I first told him that I do have an anxiety disorder and have been under a lot of stress recently, but that these symptoms dont seem related as I have suffered panic for many years. So he popped me up on the table and took my blood pressure, which was fine, got me to close my eyes, hold my arms out and extend all my fingers, which was apparently fine. I told him about the digestion and he dismissed it mumbling something about how he used to be in the army and they called it ...something guts? He felt my glands and told me there is some swelling on the left side, but wasn't concerned. Then he stated it is most likely a cold because he noticed I was breathing through my mouth for the whole visit. I told him I had jaw surgery and have been a mouth breather since a young age and that my nasal passages are like pin holes. He said.."why on earth did you have surgery on your jaw??" so I told him it was from an overly recessed bottom jaw and I had my bite corrected and also to repair soft tissue in my esophagus to avoid sleep apnea. So then he had me lay down and proceeded to push on my stomach under my ribs. I folded in half in pain. He said "oh!! Its quite tender there isn't it!?" And that was it. Told me it was a cold or viral infection. Didnt order any blood work, didn't even take my temperature. Just sent me on my way I am still feeling just as terrible today and very defeated.

I'm sorry you are going through all of this and dealing with anxiety.
I have been to 4 Dr's, plus I am seeing a psychologist right now. I'm off work due to all of this anxiety. Our insurance is horrible so I am paying out of pocket for most of my care. I am finding it really hard to find a Dr. who seems to care even just a little. I feel like it's all about money for them. And when you mention anxiety that makes it even worse.