wake up feeling sooo dark

Hello - I haven't posted in years, I used to post in the depression forum.

this morning I woke up feeling like I had spent the night in some evil dark place. I cannot find the right words, I am sure I was dreaming but I cannot remember any detail of any dream. I have always had very graphic strange nightmarish dreams, but this was different because I have no memory of a dream, just woke up feeling like I had the worst nightmares ever and that something bad had happened, it was a gross feeling.

When I woke up fully I made sure everyone was OK and tried to think about something else. I almost always wake up with a feeling of dread and despair. After about an hour of "talking myself down" I can usually function but living like this is just exhausting.

I have Ativan for anxiety attacks but dont take it often. I take morphine for chronic OA related issues/pain and take diabetes meds. I sometimes wonder if its all a bad combination causing my crazy morning moods.

I know I didnt ask a question but I have no one to tell this too. I told my wife but she just wanted to one-up me with her own problems.

Thanks for reading, any thoughts are welcome.

Hi Scaredy Cat ... I had no idea my dark mornings were an actual thing... well, Cortisol is poison IMHO, haha.

and yes, coping skills and activities are going to become habit for me. I have been lazy about doing "the work" to maintain mental health and here I am again with the morning issues and much more.

I have actually talked to my Dr. about the opioid's, his answer to to take less and I do try too... I actually take less then I am prescribed. My Dr.'s can indifferent. I get the "yea whatever junkie" eye roll when I want to talk about and revisit pain medications. Going to the Dr. is expensive, too... I better have plenty of room on a credit card to have an issues evaluated so I often just dont.

Thanks for the welcome, I will definitely take your suggestion and read around on the site. I'm trying to manage diabetes too and I intend to check out that section out and post there too. Have a great day.