Depersonalization

Hi, I am an 18 (almost 19) year old girl, and I have been living with panic disorder for over a year now. I have always had anxiety for as long as I can remember, even at a young age. My anxiety was different then. I actually had more control and it didn't run my whole life. Until high school ended.. over the summer one night I randomly had what I believe to be PVC'S. This scared me to death. My heart started racing right after I felt that horrible sensation and ever since I've been in a constant panic, to this day. The next morning following my episode with a PVC I went to the ER. They monitored me for 5 hours. My heart rate was still high, at 150 bpm. I ended up being released and told I looked and seemed to be healthy. I was given a ekg and blood/urine tests which showed nothing abnormal. I left with my heart rate still at 120 bpm. Months later I finally saw a cardiologist. I did quite a bit of tests. Stress test, overnight heart monitor and a 3 week event monitor. The results for all were normal. But I STILL was convinced something was wrong with me. My cardiologist said I was doing so good that I no longer needed to see him. Since then I've been living a nightmare and pushing myself through. Panic attacks everyday. As of today I feel very weird. My anxiety feels gone currently for the first time in a year. But I don't feel right. I feel very depersonalized. My head is light and I just don't feel real. I cant snap out of it. My emotions are clouded heavy and it is very uncomfortable. I feel like i'm losing my mind. Am I finally returning back to myself and just not use to it or is my anxiety getting worse? I don't know what to do but I can't take this feeling. I need help.

Post Edited (Kayleenicole98) : 8/6/2017 2:08:03 AM (GMT-6)

Thank you so much. I was given medication for my anxiety but I decided to stop taking it because I hated how it made me feel I like to do things naturally. Some people would advise otherwise but medication also makes me nervous. I want to do therapy and I hope it'll help. I can't live like this, I never enjoy life now

I know how you feel girl. I haven't dealt with anxiety for as long as you have but I can tell you that I feel the same way. I have done plenty of research on derealization and depersonalizion over the past few weeks. Since my first anxiety attack about two months ago, I have been an anxious wreck. One of the main things that comes along with my anxiety is depersonalization. I know that it feels weird and terrible, but I promise it gets better. A few things I do to lessen or eliminate depersonalizion are to do some grounding techniques, go for a walk, and stay out of the sun or wear sunglasses. I know it sounds weird that I would put on sunglasses, but for me and many others out there going through the same thing, bright sunlight or even just certain lighting can trigger depersonalization and derealization. Meditation helps a lot too, if you are into that kind of stuff. And another thing, don't count on being exactly like how you used to be before anxiety. I would wake up every morning and go through out my day hoping to be the girl I used to be. After a while, I realized that I am never going to be the girl I used to be. I have changed in a good way. I still deal with anxiety and panic attacks on a daily basis, but I feel like I am stronger now. Trust yourself and everything will be ok. I really recommend looking into Mindfulness exercises as well. My doctor recommended it to me and it has been a life saver. Best of luck!

super20dan I don't think the only options are meds and therapy. As I just described in my earlier post, I have been going through the same things and I have never taken any meds nor have I went to therapy. Depersonalization can come along with severe anxiety and it is a lot more common than most think. Yes meds and therapy are helpful for some people, but for others like me, self help techniques and time are all it takes. If I was to post something like she did and get a response like yours, I probably would have had a mental breakdown. Meds and therapy are not the only options. I am not 100% better, but compared to two months ago, I am a new person. I went from having multiple panic attacks a day, couldn't leave my house, and feeling like I was going crazy, to no panic attacks at all and only mild anxiety by only using self help techniques. But if she feels like meds and/or therapy are her best options than good for her. Everyone is different.

Post Edited (Copperhead99) : 8/15/2017 5:43:01 PM (GMT-6)