paralyzed with fear

I can't even put into words the pressure and responsibilities I have with trying to take care of my failing mother 1200 miles away
I can't even think or make decisions anymore because I am so overwhelmed and second guess myself and feel like I don't have the knowledge
I did contact my mother's lawyer to get advice and home to hear back soon
Meanwhile I only had one home health care agency return my call and the prices are thru the roof
I'm told by rehab once her insurance discharges her I have 1 to 3 days to remove her
My family continues to dump their "problems" on me and seem clueless to what I'm going thru
My husband is jealous of the attention I am paying to my mother's situation and feels I'm neglecting him.
I don't know how much longer I can keep up without getting sick

WearyRA,

I know how you feel. My father is across the ocean on the east coast and lives by himself with stage 4 oral cancer. Everyday goes by that i feel like a phone call might come and has definitely added an enormous amount of worry and stress. I hope that you can find some peace and clarity so that you can make the right decisions. I just want to letyou know that youre not alone in your suffering and that were here for you.

-AK

sending healing thoughts. yeah, dumping....until i found my voice i just kept being dumped. conference call and let em have it i say. otherwise they will just keep at it.

This is too much to go through.

Please call a therapist. You need someone else to talk to outside of your family and friends.

Sending you prayers and best wishes.

Thanks all for your kind responses
still struggling
mom is begging to go home and she's only able to go home to most likely 24 hr a day care and the money will not last long

you would think SC but she has some kind of supplemental insurance that doesn't pay for that kind of care and doesn't go into medicaid
Have a call into her lawyer about how we can dis-enroll her and enroll in regular medicare/Medicaid but there are specific open enrollment periods
everything is so complicated
I feel like going to bed and pulling the covers up over my head
Alas- I do not have the luxury to indulge my own needs

My word girl! you are very strong though

Oh this is confusing i also wanted to upgrade from 2nd to 1st grade medical aid , i was told i can only do that at the beginning of the year , my funds has also exhausted so im on cash basis except for hospitalization.
i love what SC has said about telling hubs that you will also pay as much attention if something happens to him.
I was like that with my mom , when she used to be sick i would just take leave from work until she was better...Mom is mom and my life comes from her you know .. as much as you want her with you, i know its difficult.
hope you are okay now

Keep on keeping on God is watching and there is a reward
wish you peaceful days

WRAS,

This sandwich generation thing is not for the faint of heart...I hear you.

Having both aging parents...as well as spouse/kids/work...all demanding your care and attention...

...what does that leave for you?

Do your best to carve out time for yourself. Try to do something that makes YOU feel good...so you don't get 'lost' among all the directions you are being pulled.

Sending thoughts of strength your way!

Hang in there friend. (((((❤)))))

S.C.

Oh that's weird!!

Progressive Muscle Relaxation and Meditation Videos before bed!

S.C.

Sending you thoughts for peace and rest...

...you need and deserve heaps of both my friend.

With prayers and support 🙏🙏🙏

S.C.

WRAS,

I received an e-mail from one if our awesome mederators, who has followed the struggle regarding your mom's coverage. She shared this...(and I am passing it along here, since we don't have an email for you)

If she plans to change her mom to regular Medicare & then get a supplemental policy a good place to look ehealthinsurance.com. This will give her a good starting point on the supplemental policy to Medicare. Even with these 2 coverages you are limited on skilled rehab & that sort of thing. A separate policy can be bought for additional time in a skilled unit. Not sure of the cost, I have heard its a little pricey. Now is the time to start looking to change her insurance, it needs to be effective January 1. She cannot wait until January 1 & try to change it. I know one more thing to add to her plate.

Peace and progress friend...hope you have found some restorative rest...

S.C.

BTW
I am flying in at the end of next week to spring her out of Rehab and bring her home
God & Hurricane willing- she's in FL
Facility called and reported they are well equip in back up power, staff, water, food, meds, etc. in the even they take a bad hit. They are a shelter for such situations.

Mom is ecstatic they said she can go home!

I teetered on the possibility of a bad panic attack today- made a lot of phone calls to announce news- making lists for myself what needs to be taken care of while I'm there,
tried to take care of responsibilities i advance that I won't be here for
Feeling broke as a joke- finance wise. Even getting an excellent air fare I'm $500 in the hole for just travel fees. Maybe not a lot for some but a lot for me.

Thanks for the support

Slept for crap last night- perhaps will take 1/2 xanax for a good nights rest toight