Help with health anxiety (long post)

I have suffered from GAD and health anxiety for many decades. I tend to have extreme "episodes" every 2-5 years where the anxiety is severe and interferes with my daily functioning. I usually have a stressful event that triggers the "episode" and it will take me several months to get back to my baseline (where I still suffer from anxiety but it doesn't affect my daily functioning as much). My current episode involves more health anxiety than the GAD and I am now going on 6 months.....In the past I have been on an SSRI, which helped but I've tried two and because of the fact that I am hyper aware of any twinge in my body I wasn't able to continue them due to what I perceived as side effects, which caused me to have more panic attacks on the medication than off. I was also on 0.5mg of Klonopin for 8 weeks, which helped but since it's so addictive I no longer take it. I did suffer some withdrawal from it which set me back anxiety wise when I felt I was making some headway. I see a therapist that has helped immensely, through my employer, but we are only authorized for 6 visits per year and there is no option to pay for more, it's a resource issue. Needless to say, I utilized my 6 visits long ago. I have seen several therapists through my health insurance but I haven't found one that really knows about CBT and it's a huge hassle to switch to someone else I may or may not like through my insurance. I also meditate but I feel that it's not helping this time. I am at a loss.....I cannot continue to live my life this way, crushing dread, anxiety, fear.....I have three young children to take care of and I know that I am so detached from them and my husband that it is affecting all of us. In the past 6 months, I have been to the ER twice, urgent care 4-5 times, I've had 3 CT scans, an MRI, a cardiac holter monitor, and I am scheduled for an endoscopy and colonoscopy at the end of the month. I am literally at the doctor's office at least once a week.

My latest fear is that I have melanoma of the nail. I have had a dark streak under my nail for several years that I had noticed but didn't pay much attention to. For some reason, I decided to check Dr. Google about it and I have now convinced myself that it is melanoma and all I can think about is imminent death and leaving my children without a mother. I have seen a dermatologist about it, and when I asked her if she thought it was cancer she said her gut was that it was not, but she recommended a biopsy. The biopsy is not for another two weeks but my anxiety is now at an all time high. I'm obsessed about it and again so tired of waking up in the morning with tears in my eyes, unable to eat, gagging at the thought of eating and making everyone else around me miserable. Every thought I have is that this might be the last time that I do this.....I really don't know what to do. I've read up on health anxiety and it is such a vicious cycle, logically, I know that's where many of my other symptoms stem from but I just can't control the thoughts. I think my fear stems from the fact that a streak under my nail really could be cancer and not a symptom of anxiety like so many of my other symptoms. I know that people experience this all the time, but it has been 6 months of non-stop worry and anxiety about one ailment or another and all I can think about is the time that I have wasted worrying.....

Any encouragement or tips would be so helpful, I'm just so tired of this cycle.....

Hello and welcome!

I am so sorry to hear of your current struggles with HA...it can be so debilitating, I know. :/

Here are some links which I think you'll find helpful...from the Resources that Hibee mentioned above. See also the Positive Mantras and Affirmations help for managing run away worries...and the Therapy Worksheets to help diffuse the intrusive/scary thoughts.


Health Anxiety - A Self Help Guide:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/pages/introduction.aspx


Self Help For Health Anxiety

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_id=53

www.getselfhelp.co.uk/healthanxiety.htm


Health Anxiety- The Super Scanner[/color]

www.get.gg/docs/SuperScanner.pdf

One of those links has several modules to work through for health anxiety self help. It will take some time and effort...but is worth it!!

Post with us anytime. We are glad you've found us...and will be here with understanding and support!

Scaredy Cat

I get it....it is really hard to resist 'The Call of the Google'...:/

Try to put your time and energy into working the self help instead!

Keep posting...it helps to have support.☺

S.C.