Weak heart feeling

Hi good people of this forum!

I just registered because I can't take this health anxiety any longer. I want to share my physical symptoms with you because they are really driving me crazy.

I have been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks pretty much my whole life (I am now 31). It all started with a nocturnal panic attack I had when I was 12 years old. Since that, I would have panic attacks almost every day I would go to bed which caused me to be afraid of going to sleep. The thoughts that caused the panic attacks had either to do with me having a heart attack, a seizure or that something would attack me while I would be asleep.

My anxiety almost went away after I finished high school, but it came back when I was 24 years old and was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I did CBT for three years which helped a bit and then started taking Citalopram for another two and a half years. I mainly started taking the medication after cutting Tegretol cold turkey after having taken it for 20 years. The reason I took Tegretol for 20 years was because I had epilepsy, but after doing a long EEG in the hospital the doctors found out that I no longer had epilepsy and that all the symptoms I was experiencing at night where stress related. So I cut the medicine at once with the advice of the hospital doctors and my body went into a shock. So I went to a psychiatrist which I have been going since then and he gave me Citalopram.

Anyway, to cut a long story short I stopped taking Citalopram a year and several months ago because I was doing better. My anxiety had gone, my sleep had normalized, I didn't have any psychosomatic symptoms and I was generally doing great. But after a while anxiety slowly started to creep in back again and it continued to increase and increase up until recently when I decided I had to do something about it. I started taking Insidon (Opipramol) a month ago. I started taking 10 mg twice per day and I have been increasing it by 5 mg every week. I am now at 25 mg twice per day (when I wake up and when I go to sleep), but so far I haven't noticed any significant improvement.

The reason I started taking the medication is because I have been having panic attacks almost daily and repeatedly. I have also developed a phobia of taking any medication after unsuccessfully trying to treat my anxiety with supplements and getting bad side effects (I tried magnesium and it had such a sedative effect on me that it felt as if my heart would stop beating. I also tried fish oil and even though it improved my energy and mood greatly, my mind would not shut down at night. I would close my eyes and would have all kinds of images flashing through my vision. It felt like dreaming while awake). Even benzos give me panic attacks, because my mind perceives the change in the body and the calming effect as something dangerous, as if I am about to collapse and die. For that reason I stopped exercising, because my mind would also perceive all the bodily symptoms that come with physical exertion as something critically dangerous.

It is true that I have developed hyper awareness, but the thing is that my chest is constantly tight and I have shortness of breath 24/7. Sometimes it is so bad, that I cannot even speak a sentence without gasping for air. Apart from that the smallest physical activity leaves me absolutely exhausted with my heart beating fast right away. All these symptoms are exacerbated when I go to sleep to the point where I fall asleep and I suddenly wake up with my a strange feeling of my chest and my heart beating like crazy.

What really, really troubles me though is that I have a pulse pressure of 45 to 55 when I rest (by the way taking my blood pressure multiple times during the day is another habit I have developed...). It is usually at 45 to 50 when I rest and a bit higher up to 55-60 when I wake up in the morning. I have been googling 'pulse pressure' and been reading all these things about widened pulse pressure and in my mind they all sound like horror stories. For that reason, I booked an appointment for the 8th of January with the doctor to discuss all these issues (chest tightness and pain, shortness of breath, exercise intolerance accompanied with tachycardia, widened pulse pressure together with bradycardia and of course ANXIETY).

Right now I feel like crap... my chest feels so tight and my heart so weak that I have the feeling I am not even able to go for a 10 minute walk...

What is wrong with me? Can anybody give any advice to me? This health anxiety literally consumes all of my thinking and my day and my energy. I feel like I am about to die all the time, that my heart is failing, that I will have a heart attack any minute...

Please help! Thanks! And sorry for the length of my post...

Alex

Here are a few links I pulled up for you that I think will help!


Health Anxiety - A Self Help Guide:
www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/pages/introduction.aspx


Self Help For Health Anxiety

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_id=53

www.getselfhelp.co.uk/healthanxiety.htm


Health Anxiety- The Super Scanner[/color]
www.get.gg/docs/SuperScanner.pdf

Exercises for General Anxiety Management
www.stress-relief-exercises.com

S.C.

You are very welcome!

I think you'll find that everything is fine physically...

...and that you just need to continue your journey towards your recovery...

...keep up hope...you will reach your goals, and we'll be here to cheer you on!

Keep posting!

S.C.