GR,
I am sorry that you are struggling atm. I understand how this feels. :/
The good news is that you are being pro-active and have an upcoming appointment which will help give you direction, a plan and some hope!
I encourage you to continue with your work using the coping skills everyday...striving to keep going with your existing ones, and to learn new ones as well! The more you have in your tool box the better.
Keep us updated as well. We understand and will be here to cheer you on and keep your encouraged and motivated.
There is help and hope and you are on your way. You can do this...and things ARE going to change for the better my friend!
S.C.