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I feel anxious

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 10/12/2018 11:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Everyone,

I have posted in a few of the forums here on HW. I am a chronic pain patient due to spine problems and trying to correct them with surgery. I also was recently diagnosed with cancer. Please let me say that I do not feel like I am depressed in any way. I do however feel anxious most days. I will try to explain so maybe someone can help me. I would appreciate any help I can get.

I look forward to each day. I am not angry or upset. My main issue is I start doing something and I a get anxious to finish it quickly. I will start doing something but in about ten minutes I move to something else. I have always loved building model ships. I can no longer do it for any length of time. This pattern is true for everything I do. I used to love computer games. Not any longer, I don't have the patience for it at all. I feel like my mind is moving a million miles a minute. Other people I talk with tell me its because I have a cancer diagnosis. I tell them I am not in the least afraid of having cancer. I am however a chronic pain patient who takes opioids for my chronic pain.

Long story short I just keep moving from one thing to another to another. I also have trouble sleeping. I take gabapentin for my spine issues and have read it is used off label for anxiety. I just started taking it again and it does seem to help some but I need more help. At my last dr appointment I was prescribed valium but I only took three because my pain management dr said no way could I take them with my opioids. I could not go off my pain meds as I hurt to much to function without them.

Thank you for any help
dmo
Posted 10/13/2018 10:51 AM (GMT 0)
hi.

your middle paragraph reminds me of how the past few years have been. I would draw, play games, read. but then at some point I couldn't stay on topic. my brain wouldn't shut up with intrusive thoughts. I would have to put it aside and ignore it. it took forever over a year to draw something. i'm still in this mode of, once i get the plot bunny to create my art, I get to. even if it only last a few minutes. for me it feels better then nothing. it feels peaceful knowing that i have something. no matter how much time i spent on it, its there.

i don't know what else to say about your other comments so I going to awkwardly shuffle away now before I decide to delete this whole post out of anxiety
Posted 10/13/2018 12:42 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Mariano for you help. This is fairly new for me. I have always been a calm and tranquil person. Part of my problem sounds like someone who is ADHD or something similar. I just cant focus even on things I want to do. Ten to fifteen minutes is all I can manage. I guess its back to the dr or me. Do you take any meds for your condition and if so does it help?

I appreciate any and all help from you or anyone.
thanks
dmo
Posted 10/13/2018 1:10 PM (GMT 0)
You might find that meditation helps you. I am just starting to experiment with meditation myself. You may think (as I did) that you do not know how to meditate. But it is deceptively simple. It may be the only thing you have ever done that cannot possibly be done wrong. Maybe start by sitting in a comfortable position, alone, and concentrating on your breathing for 3-5 minutes. Close your eyes, if that helps. Don't try to breathe in any different way than usual; just focus on your breathing. You will have other thoughts, inevitably, and your mind will wander. That happens to all of us. But just notice the thoughts and then bring your focus back to your breathing. There are various "guided meditations" available, but you may not need that. You can do this on your own. It can help you slow down, relax, internalize that you do not need to be constantly on the move, etc. I bet once a day meditation will help you. (And if I am wrong about that, then you will not have wasted more than 5 minutes a day and will not have spent any money -- so big potential upside and very little to lose!)
Posted 10/13/2018 9:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi OF58 and welcome to the A/P!

I am sorry to hear about all you are dealing with currently. It does sound like a lot, and even though you sound like you are doing an amazing job at managing it all...it still has an accumulative effect...that can cause anxiety to sneak it way in.

I second Medved's advice regarding meditation. It can help train the mind to slow down and stay in the moment, rather than racing off to the next thing in order to stay distracted from the anxiety. Mindfullness is a powerful skill and one that we have links of in our Resources at the top of the main forum page...along with other guided meditation videos.

Another tool that may be helpful is Binaural Beats. This soundwave therapy is often used for sleep...but is also offered in wakeful relaxation frequencies. These can help focus our attention and stay on task. You can find youtube or apps for this...or let me know if you need help, and I can provide a link for you.

Wishing you the best in health...both mental and physical. Post with us anytime for encouragement and support!

Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/13/2018 11:34 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you both Medved and Scaredy Cat for the tips on meditation. I practiced using it today as I was driving. I was on the road for an hour and a half and of course my mind was just racing. I was able to reel myself back in a few times. I can see where this technique will be helpful. What sends me over the edge is when someone is mean to me or I come in contact with a verbally abuse type person. At this point I lose my ability to focus and start thinking all manner of crazy things.

I never used to be this way. I could always remain calm but I guess there is just to much turning over in my mind at the moment with cancer and my spine pain. I still have two surgeries to focus on for my spine and have not even gotten any solid treatment plans for my cancer just yet. I believe I need to go back to the dr and get some type of medication to help me over this hump in my life. My stress is also coming out in other ways as my stomach is in knots lately also.

Please let me say thank you to everyone here for the help and understanding. I appreciate any and all comments. Feel free to offer any info you feel would be helpful. I am currently taking Gabapentin for the past few days hoping it will help till my dr prescribes something else. I take the Gabapentin but it seems like it takes a good six hours to start working.

Thanks all
dmo

My primary care dr gave me a script for valium which worked great but my PM dr said no so I need to find another med.
Posted 10/14/2018 12:43 AM (GMT 0)
hi

the meditation and Binaural Beats sound fascinating. I'll have to see if they work for me.

I take sertraline an ssri. I find its not strong enough for me. the past few weeks have been really bad and it does't feel like it's helping at all. but I have yet to discuss with my doctor about why that is or what other options there are.
Posted 10/14/2018 2:18 AM (GMT 0)
Wishing you peace
My best friend died of breast cancer after battling it for many years.
I don't know how she did it but she found a way to live in the moment- I wish could be like her
Posted 10/14/2018 2:56 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry for your loss wearyRAsufferer. It seems like cancer is all around me these days. My father had the very same cancer I now have. His suffering was great which weighs heavily on my mind these days. He passed away many years ago. Please don't think I am some great strong person because I am not. I am not terrified about having cancer. However, what I am afraid of is suffering through more pain than I already am. Its a terrible fight each day with my spine problems. With the war on opioids I fear losing my pain meds. Without my meds I would just sit on the sofa with a heating pad all day and not move.

Now I am battling anxiety and am here trying to get it under control. Thank you so much everyone for helping
dmo
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