Favour to Ask - Critique my Rehabilitated Self?

Hi guys

I think everyone on this site is here because we're in the process of recovery from something. Right now, I'm about 3/4 into rehabilitation - I don't want to say what for at this stage as it might taint your response. But I'd like to ask a big favour.

This is a movie capture (caught candidly) of me having a conversation in the office. I thought by posting it online, it'd be a good way to get some unbiased feedback as to how I'm coming across at the moment. Obviously my family & friends will only say very kind things to me... and the professionals who have helped me during recovery obviously didn't know me before hand.

Here it is: https://1drv.ms/v/s!Asn3t4qxRNagikLJH1Ep3IP5WSp7

Could you take a look at the clip and give me your first impressions? In other words, what would your unbiased opinion be in terms of the way I'm coming across at the moment. Honesty is critical for me making a good recovery because part of what I do involves me selling and sometimes presenting ideas. And we all know perception is 9 tenths of the law! But sometimes our body language, communication style or voice tone betrays our good heart and we might come across as insincere, arrogant or just plain soft.

In some ways, it's not the best clip because I'm working on my iMac as I'm talking but in other ways it's ideal because it's candid and therefore a reflection of where I am right now without thinking about it. So what I'm looking for is - if this is the first impression you had of me, am I coming over as hard-faced/insecure/about right? Arrogant/weak/about right? Good communicator/poor communicator? Friendly/unfriendly, sincere/insincere, etc.

Your honest feedback about first impressions will seriously help me get back much faster so all sincere comments - the positives and negatives - are greatly appreciated.

P.S. I'm looking for both male and female opinions too because at some point I'll be throwing myself back into the dating pool too. So it'd help me greatly if you say in your comment whether your a guy or a girl : )

Hey, S.C. - thanks for the feedback.

Yeah, projection can be a bummer. If you’re feeling insecure and you manifest it, people move away from you. Which means you can spiral downward fast. Not a loop that’s fun to get into.

That’s where the non-biased feedback comes in! I need to find out whether what I’m doing is working. I’ve had nights where I look and feel good and things have gone really well but then I struggle to retain that for long enough that I can be “functional” - make new friends, socialise well, date, etc.

Good luck with the classes, whatever you’re taking. I’ve just started back up at the gym.

Kev

I’m not sure what your asking for... this is what I saw while watching the video . A very Lovely constructive chat and also saw you engaged and focused on the content of the conversation. You aligned very well with the other person . Your body language showed interest and also you are encouraging positive reinforcement in the conversation. You are structured follow thru and accept criticism well. Have a great smile.
Note.. you look just like my son. I was so surprised. Very nice to see you and so well groomed.

Thanks Chotti
I could never have anticipated the "I look just like your son" part that's for sure - hope he's considered loved and handsome! ; )

Chotti said...
I’m not sure what your asking for... this is what I saw while watching the video . A very Lovely constructive chat and also saw you engaged and focused on the content of the conversation. You aligned very well with the other person . Your body language showed interest and also you are encouraging positive reinforcement in the conversation. You are structured follow thru and accept criticism well. Have a great smile.
Note.. you look just like my son. I was so surprised. Very nice to see you and so well groomed.

Kevin ... yes of course my son is handsome he looks just like me... hehe....your look alike lives in the US and is very kind, exceptionally bright and a great father.

Thanks for the feedback Cheri, I've been away for a couple of week so excuse the delayed response - appreciate you taking the time to take a look. Hope all's well with you? I know what you mean, talking from behind the screen has become a habit at times as I'm a graphic designer so I learned have my left eye of my drawing and my right on my co-workers!

Kev

cheri.d said...
Hi Kevin,

I thought that you came across as a lovely individual. You have very kind eyes and a nice smile. You came across as friendly and engaged. I’ll have conversations with coworkers while I’m working and am guilty of looking at my computer screen vs. at them the whole time (because, well, we are working! Haha)

I am not sure what you are going through but you did not come across as insecure or unkind. You seem caring and genuine.

I’m a 33 year old female.