Follow my heart and risk facing anxiety/ocd or be depressed and safe

I don’t know Whether to move back to a place that suited me better as a person and made me happy or to leave the past where it is and stay where Iam but forever heartbroken and unhappy for living here.

I have a toddler, a pre teen and pregnant all to think about. When I moved to my happy place I was very unwell mentally years ago,
Since I left I can’t seem to move back without all the feelings coming back and my heart and mind being confused and thinking Iam moving backwards. I hate the feelings. The feelings made me so ill before. But ever since I left all I can think about is wishing I never left. I don’t know what’s best for me and my children, it’s like an ongoing turmoil, it’s hard for me to close the chapter but is it worth taking the risk and not feeling well and not being the best parent because of it? I’m in therapy and I’m trying to mentally get better but the real test is going for it and if it will pay off.

She said we have to work through some of the issues before going back. I have only seen her once lately and have another appointment booked in. But I need to move at some stage this year because I can’t stay here. I’m just over it and if I could go tommorow I would.

Hi MW,

I am sorry that you are wrestling with so many complicated emotions regarding this decision. It is certainly understandable, and there are both pros and cons to either direction you ultimately take.

So you are unhappy if you stay, that is a known fact, yes? The other thing you know to be true is that you much prefer your previous place of residence. The unknown variable is whether or not moving back would be a trigger for your anxiety.

Basically you are guaranteed to be unhappy if you don't leave...

...but there is always the chance that moving would only bring back positive feelings! You are a different person than you were before, and better able to manage your mental health challenges, right? So maybe taking the chance has the odds in your favor.

Still, only you know how strong you are feeling at this time, so going into the decision carefully....as well as considering your therapist's advice is wise.

We support you either way, so do keep us posted so we can be there for you through whichever decision you end up making!

Peace and progress!

S.C.

thanks guys, I often post and then run because I feel better for a few days.

It’s right in saying, if I go maybe everything will work out and be ok. I guess it’s just the build up to it and the doubts. If it doesn’t work out I guess I can move again but it just gets tiring moving and with kids.

I just want to be happy mentally and spiritually at the same time. I just want to enjoy my kids and not have to be unwell. It’s hard being pregnant and taking on this stress aswell.

There is only one way to know, but if you stay where you are, don't beat yourself up for not going. I wish you the best...

Hugs, Karen...