I am still stuck.

Hello again, I am glad to have found this site again. I lost my phone information in the last upgrade and lost the site information and I completely spaced the name, but I found it so I am glad.
Weird times we live in now. I guess I will start by saying my fiancée's father died on the first of April. Not related to the covid. I was actually the one who found him dead. It looked like he went in his sleep. I honestly thought he was sleeping when I found him. His arm was cold, but his back was warm. I couldn't tell and got my fiancée to help me because his father has been known to be a heavy sleeper and this wasn't the first time I have had to get him to wake him. But when he tried to turn him over, rigor had already set in.
He took it hard and I have had to be a support that I have never had to be before.
The next news is that my roommate lost his job in October and I have been trying to run a house of five(six for several months for a friend who wasn't a friend) by myself.
I am run down, but I have been able to keep working and finding side work for my fiancée to make extra cash for us. I will be honest, I went from 240lb to 170lbs now. It wasn't overnight but I am glad I have changed in that way. I didn't diet, I literally changed everything about how and what and when I ate. I exercise more and even more these last couple of months because of the pandemic. I help both my mom and my grandmother with shopping since they are both considered at risk.
Mom has settled down quite a bit. I down mince words with her as much, but I also found just distancing with her helps. She appreciates me more because she doesn't see or talk to me as much. Plus she has seen how my brother who lives with my grandmother doesn't take care of her or feed her or shop for her, so she doesn't have an issue at all with me shopping for her because she certainly doesn't.
People helping actually surprises me. We have had a lot of support from people offering side jobs or just helping us with a little money.
I work at a gas station so I am an essential worker but to be honest it is exhausting having to work right now and support a grieving fiancée. He is getting better, but it is definitely a strain on me doing everything including going through paperwork for his father since his father wasn't very organized. Not to mention he was supposedly adopted but can't find any paperwork for his adoption anywhere. Everything was in his father's name so Bill paying is going to get weird. I paid for everything though, just in his name.
I am still assistant manager and I have been offered to work in my own store, but I need a car of my own and that also requires me to get a license. I have never actually learned to drive a car. Not to mention the car we do have is on its last legs so we are in a tight spot right now.
I'm not ok. I don't even know what to say when people ask. I am just trying to go day by day right now. It doesn't help I have a heart condition and my fiancée is terrified of losing me too since he doesn't have any family either.
I am glad to have found this again though. I can admit when I need to work through some heavy stuff.

Well, it is me, my roommate who has helped support the house for three years and my fiancée. A friend of the family lost her house and is rooming on a couch with her son right now. She is temporary, but hasn't offered to help financially and I know that won't last long. For a while everyone(besides my fiancée's father) was working but through a series of unfortunate events, i am now the only one working currently. My roommate is trying to find another job though and my fiancée can't until we get another car. I was not able to get food stamps before, but I think I can now. That is going to be the next thing I will be taking care of. Hard to keep track of everything right now.

It has been a long year. The two freeloaders moved out quickly after my fiancée's father passed away. We have been fighting probate for the last year because of an error on a trust. Yesterday though we took the loan check to the county to pay for the estate. Now we wait for a court date for everything to be signed over. We want to get married finally now that things are starting to even out. In the meantime, an old roommate of about 7 years ago made amends and moved back in. He has been helping with bills. My grandmother gave me her car on the stipulation that I got a license. I passed the test in the beginning of April, so now I drive myself to work. We have a car that needs to be repaired, and the roommate who moved back in is dealing with an identity theft case for his license. He is trying to get a work from home job before the unemployment runs out.
Things are easier, but I just feel like I have been getting dragged from one thing to the next. I feel very lost. I still have my job, and I could become a store manager, but with the instability of the house right now, I need to focus on getting things done here. If I took the promotion now, I would have to commute every day and I definitely can't afford that.
My fiancée is doing better. He just sleeps a lot and that is concerning to me. I think he will be better once everything with the house is settled.
I am just tired. Glad my grandmother got remarried though, she is with an awesome guy. I feel upset with myself because I know we are doing better financially, but I still feel like I am just spinning my wheels. I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way.

Hey Karen,
I do want to take the promotion, but I am waiting for a few reasons.
One: I want to make sure the house is finalized and not hovering over our heads.
Two: Currently commuting is the only opportunity and it would actually cost more getting to work everyday than what I would be earning. They don't offer travel pay until you go past store manager either.
Three: The manager in my store right now is 69. He turns 70 in October. He is close to retiring. I know that if I wait it out, I can take over the store I am in now.
That one is the most fortuitous for me. I would be close to work. Wouldn't be worried about the house AND having to find a place to stay in the town over which is about 75 miles away. I just have to have patience.

I do currently have health insurance. I just haven't had a need to use it yet.

My fiancée's father slept a lot too. I think is may be stress a bit. He has never been in this sort of situation. He may also be feeling lost. Although, both my other two roommates just got jobs so it may be enough to motivate him to do more too.

I just wish people wouldn't keep quitting at my store. The people we hire either go to another job or just quit after a few months. I am exhausted all the time trying to keep the store going. Right now we are down three employees and we usually have a full crew of 8. The hiring process is also tedious. First, an interview, then background, then the applicant has to fill some form out that the hiring manager in corporate sends them. Then if they do all that, they come in and have to complete near 20 hours of online training, then a week of register training. I feel like it is setting them up to fail.
Not to mention the company is getting ready to expand across the country too. There is a lot of growth potential for me as well. It is just a lot of stress and hard work too. I wish I wasn't so tired all the time because of it.

Hi again.
Well, I took the promotion in the other town. It was not ideal, but my old boss was just making my life a living hell. When I last posted, they found a temporary manager for that store, but he was a royal screw up. His last day as manager and my first day he caused the whole store to flood that actually sparked an electrical fire. He was very bad news. He slept with a LOT of people and even tried to force himself on me. I have not told my husband because he tends to be overprotective. Nothing happened before I pushed him away, but it is bothering me on some level too. Recently I found out he is on a sex offender list too. Really bad person.
However, I have not spoken or interacted with him for several months now. He has tried asking people about too so that makes me uncomfortable. He lives in the same town as me so most of the time I am not in town so I don't have to deal with him much. He was stalking me for a bit, but I guess he found someone else to bother now.

In the midst of all this, I got to become store manager and I make almost twice as much hourly then I was. I have been the manager since April and it has been very rewarding. It showed me that I am actually capable of running a store. I even brought the numbers up to better than prepandemic.

I stay in a hotel room for the work week and go home on my day off. However these last few weeks I have not seen a day off because of the holidays and people quitting. We are even the highest paying store in the town and we still have people who quit.

I am slowly getting out of the red financially. We are finally starting to get the house fixed, by all rights I should be happy with my life and where it is going, but right now I feel trapped. I felt backed into a corner in the first place taking the job. The two store managers in my town and myself were all going out to cover shifts because of how dreadfully shortstaffed it was at the time. My boss at the time was getting more and more irritable with me and absolutely hating going to the other store. He started cutting my hours because I was giving more hours to the other store. The district manager was asking me to help more and I think he resented that too. When I was offered the store again I took it because there was no one else and all the managers helping were starting to burn out.

My grandmother has also been more demanding with me and none of her family will visit her anymore. Every time I am back in town she monopolizes my time. She is not all there and has no one to talk to and has to grill me on my day to the point that I just don't want to deal with it anymore.
I feel like I am suffocating. I want to be happy, but I feel like I am going into a hole. People try to cheer me up, but I just don't feel any better. I am worn out mentally and emotionally that I feel like it is an obligation.
Then the last week I have had a nerve on my face where a tooth was pulled just go crazy. Eating hurts drinking hurts. Talking is agony and when the pain subsides I just feel so drained. It is only on one side of my face, but it is almost debilitating. I am terrified of a flare up while I am driving. I am just so tired and I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel very sad like my chest feels heavy. I have been having trouble keeping my emotions under control too. I have cried so much my assistant sees me and says "now what?"
At this point I would be better not feeling anything. Then maybe I wouldn't hurt so much all the time.

Hi Kinoko:

The Forums are staffed by volunteers, and I'm assuming some are just starting to come back after the holidays. First congratulations on your new job and getting out of a horrible work situation. I don't know a lot about your background, but are you talking to anyone about feeling so overwhelmed? Although it's difficult to hear, you need to take some "me" time. If you spread yourself too thin, and become frazzled you become less productive in all areas of your life. It's OK to say no. Have you talked to your dentist about the continued nerve issue?

Sharon