Hi

Hi
It's been awhile since my last post. I haven't made much progress in 7 years, which isint good.
Now I'm having regrets and feeling old. All the things that I have wanted in life I've just let pass me by.
Anyway, I started therapy again. I guess its good to have something to be accountable to. It's a frustrating, slow process and maybe one I could do on my own but I didn't. She thinks I have Depression and anxiety, but I don't want to label myself. Seems like the easy way out of a situation that has been going on for many years.
I see lots of reasons for my feelings so I find it hard to commit to a medication or a label. However when we talk about things before these feelings, I remember happier times even times where it didn't feel like I was barreling through the day, or constantly wanting it to go away, but that's life too I guess. It's mundane and that's the way it is. I really want to change before its too late. I don't like the way my life is going.

Sincerely
LABELLE

Thanks!

Hi,
Thanks for the responses. Things are tolerable I guess. I prefer to keep my distance from toxic people, so when one happens to be family it makes it harder. I have tried to not be judgemental. Obviously I dont like the fact that I have to be around him at all. I just tolerate it, and on the best days I don't have to think about it.
I guess I don't feel like I have alot of control over my life and that people don't listen to me so It doesn't help.
Hope you feel better too @Markie and thanks TImTam

You said, "I was just writing because I'm really struggling with my moods/"

My guess was going to be what you said near the end of your post:

"It's not good for me either that I am not out there in the world, living any sort of life"

I have the same problem, even before the virus started.

The guy who cuts my grass just came by doing a welfare check and for the 10 minutes that he was here I was as animated and talkative as I could be. I know socialization helps me. That it's theraputic.

I think before I got on the right medicine (Mirtazapine anti-depressant and Lithium mood stabilizer) for my bipolar, I would have been depressed before he arrived and depressed after he left.

But I've been on the right medicine for years now and I was not depressed before he got here and I was not depressed after he left.

So, my original case here was going to be, socialization. Which I know how hard that can be.

Now my case is, getting on the right medicine.

You said, "I probably cry about 3 times a day. Or if not that, I am well rested and disconnected. I'm just tired of feeling burnt out all the time. I kind of half funtion everyday."

If you cry, that's depression as a psychiatrist told me when I cried and she said, "Aw, you're just depressed."

You also say, "Somewhere bw anxiousness and not being able to move."

You also say, "I feel like I've tried it all, the vitamins, the exercise, going to bed early. I get plenty of sun and drink lots of water."

You mention everything but psychiatric medicines.

You're going all the way around the world to avoid psychiatric medicines.

Are you taking anything for those conditions? Have you tried them in the past? Are you seeing a psychiatrist?

Do you have a hobby or a favorite TV show? You mentioned exercise, is there somewhere you can walk which can help with mood?