I like this place but don't know if I can stay.

i Just want to thank everyone for their help and support. This is such a lonely disorder, and I couldn't even imagine having it all my life. Many threads bring me comfort or confirmation, but at the same time because the enemy tries to bring the spirit of hypochondria around I think some posts adds to my anxiety. I took the melatonin last night,


didn't really seem to have any effect.Even went to bed listening to a cd. I tried making myself go to bed at 7:30(since I was up for over 24hrs) but again my heart started racing as I was just about to doze off, so I came downstairs,turned the tv and and gradually fell asleep. My dog woke me two hrs later and I went back up stairs and it only took me bout 15min to fall asleep. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to sleep again. Guys I don't want to go to the hosp, I don't want to be diagnosed, or labeled. I don't want to have to take meds everyday to function. I really hope this will go away. Like i said in a previos post, I'd rather have one or 2 panic attacks in a day, then a constant, or intermitent anxiety during the day. Do you guys ever feel like it won't end. I keep telling myself this is only temporary.

I am going to church this morning(as I do every sunday) Part of me wants to ask for prayer, but part of me is proud.

Anyway I just wanted to thank everyone, and if I drop off or stop posting, it's not anything personal, but something I feel I need to do to keep myself mentally healthy, lol.

Post Edited (I_willconquer) : 10/8/2006 6:46:32 AM (GMT-6)

I am sorry is hard for you to be here. Always know even if you do leave us we will be here if you ever want to come back. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and let us know if there is anything we can help with.

God bless you.

Hi there i will conquer, (great name btw) I am so sorry that this place makes you even a tad bit anxious, but i do understand that it makes you think about it. I wish you the best, i hope you can stay and talk and get some more support, but i really do understand..... Please know that we will be here whenever you need someone.
hugs shell

Dear Will-

You do whatever you need to do to feel good. But I just want to share a couple of my ideas or beliefs for a second. I hope this helps. I'm not trying to preach. If it comes across that way, please accept my apology ahead of time. Here we go. First, I have a hard time sharing my deep thoughts and feelings with those who are close to me. It's much easier here with a bit of anonymity. Second, I have come to feel a part of this family here. There is always someone who can relate to what you are going through and someone to talk to about anything. Third, I have a great belief in God and Jesus Christ.  I understand about the pride thing, I really do. My hubby and I are going through some very difficult times right now, financially and with my health. It has been a very humbling experience for me to ask for help. I'm very independant about most things. I'm hard-headed. I took a lot of courage for me to go in on my knees, swallow that pride, and ask for help. I was told I should have asked sooner. It has been given willingly. I have a couple of friends through my church that I know I can call and they are here in an instant. I get through things with the help of my Lord, my church, my family, my friends and my new friends here. Again, I apologize if I sound preachy, it's not meant to be that way. Each one of us has the right to live as we choose and I would never shove anything down someone's throat. I've had that happen to me and I didn't deal well with it. I tend to dig my feet in and do just the opposite. I hope you decide to stick around. I know there will be someone here who can help you and in turn who you can help.  

Hun some of this is against the rules as I explained in last edit ....I know you are not trying to convert or preach but could you please keep some of your religious beliefs and ways to self .I too am very spiritual yet I know I cannot go and put all that on here .......you can share your email thru your profile thus talk to peeps that way about this okay .

I am not trying to pick on you at all and I hope you dont see it that way ........Any questions please email me directly at my addy in my profile or one of other mods .....but prob would be best to me as I am one editing .........Have a great day and keep posting you are an asset to this board IMO..........Lyn

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 10/9/2006 5:53:41 AM (GMT-6)

I am so sorry but I too am able to relate and as Normal said if you decide to come back we are here for you with open arms and heart
Lyn

thanks for the kind words. well yesterday was a good day for me, i even slept well. tonight, or shoud i say this morning, since it's now morn...not so good. can't sleep..even took a unisom, and it just seemed to make my heart race more. starting to get a lil sleepy now, so we'll see. I think i will just stick to certain threads or bypass the ones that may cause me more anxiety.

i need some really good book recomendations!!!!!!!

I honestly don't know which is worse... having anxiety all throughout the day or having a panic attack once or twice a day.

I'm going to go with panic attacks because I can handle anxiety, but having two panic attacks leaves you so mentally exhausted and unwilling to try to even get out of bed the next day.

I know you don't want to have to take meds everyday.

But neither did I.

Without treatment though, the disease gradually gets worse. You need some kind of help; therapist or meds.

I was suffering for months thinking I could just "get over this", feeling anxious and having panic attacks 24/7 (sometimes at 4 AM trying to sleep) and I was at the end of the line, not knowing where I could turn to next.

I was never a person to get on meds but now that I'm on Lexepro and Ativan I can lead a normal life (as normal as one can be with this disorer)... a panic attack here and there... but most of the anxiety goes away.

I feel so much better than I did before I was on meds, so much better.

I want to take CBT, and that should help too with getting through situations that are difficult (like going to malls, or driving farther than I think I can).

Turning away completely from this site I don't think is the best idea.

But good books to read.. lets see.. I've become an avid reader since this whole ordeal started...

"Letters from Emily"
"Lucky"
"Welcome to my planet"


and there's a lot more I just can't think of off the top of my head that I read in the past couple weeks lol.

Twiggygal~

I, like the others here have found at times some of the post to be upsetting when they hit to close to home.

I have found and recived a lot of understanding, compassion and friendships here and in the chat rooms. We all are here to help each other but there are times we just want to escape our feelings and just be ourselves and talk about other things. Please before you do decide to leave us come to visit us in chat and see if that will help you feel better. You are welcome to go to any room you like there a lot of the members kinda seem to gather to one room but it gets our minds off our illnesses. Hope to see you soon.

Welcome to HW you will find pleanty of careing, compasionate loving members that are going thru the same things you are. Me all may not have the same illnesses but we all suffer the same.

Can you tell us a little more about yourself just to get to know you. What are your illnesses, are you on meds, married, kids,grand kids.

If you have any questiong please feel comfortable enough to aske them.

Hope up the posting and hope to see you in the chat rooms sometime.