Two very rough days...

Yesterday was awful.  I was feeling okay at first, and then BAM.  I go to Target.  (deathly afraid of Target for some reason mainly cuz I have had a lot of panic attacks in the past there)  Well I wanted to go alone, I was sick of having someone go with me.  I got out of my car and walked towards the doors.  Jelly legs, suddenly the archway to Target looked too big, I forced myself in, I grab a cart and I just wanted to run out of the store right then.

I can make it to the dog food.  I thought.  Starting to hypervenalate, breathing too fast, not enough, fingers and arms are tingling and I feel like I can't push the cart another step.  I make it to the dog food and manage to make it through Target but continually panic til I reach the register and try to make small talk with the cashier.  I made it but it was absolutely miserable.

I've been feeling strange all day today but that always happens after an attack. 

I thought I was getting through this just perfect, I haven't felt panicy in two weeks but these past two days it's like a whirlwind all over again of panic and anxiety and I am just so sick of this disease.

God help me.

I'm so stressed out and am trying to stay positive but it so hard to be.

*sighs*

~Twiggygal

Twiggy,
It sounds like to me that you had some good days and perhaps was wanting to prove to yourself that you could tackle Target successfully w/o help. Well, guess what?! YOU DID IT!
Sometimes, the ONLY thing to do is to face the fear, even if you have to do it over and over again. I hate it too!!! When I have feelings of anxiety all day for days on end, I just HAVE TO keep going...so I do. I'm always glad to see the day end though. I hate to realize that, but I want to always be honest with myself. Everytime I've ever let me fear stop me from doing something, it's been almost impossible to do it again. That's why I try to grab the bull by the horns and go along for the ride, even though I feel like he** during and after. So Twiggy, you really should be proud of yourself. You didn't let that "bull" throw you off!
janet

Good job Twiggy! You did not avoid and that is HUGE! You are on your way to recovery IMO. Congrats and remember healing is not always a linear line...there will be ups and downs, but the ups will eventually prevail!

Take Care
Scaredy Cat

YOU did it so proud of you
Keep it up hun you are doing just fantabulous
KUDOS

I dont know what it is with Target but I totally understand. Target is the one place I WILL have a panic attack. I have panic all the time and it can happen anywhere I go. But there is no question it WILL happen when I step foot into Target. Which totally sucks cause I love that store. I think we should get some sort of special discounts for shoppin through our panic attacks lol. I hope you are having more good days then bad. Just remember what an improvement it is that you went and you stayed and you walked out alive and stronger for having made it through!

Major congrats TG you really should be proud of yourself. Its not about if we get anxious or not its if we complete/attempt the task at hand. You didnt let the panic win. Keep up the good work.


Lyn/Mom,
You're stealing my words lol (fantabulous)

Thank you all for your support! :) I went to Target last night and ran to the book section and just looked around for a while and I was a lil shaky and then I left the book section, started getting disoriented and dizzy but made myself just look around a bit... like at jewelry and shoes just to get comfortable with the idea that Target can be "fun" and not the scary place I think it is.

So I was only in there for about 20 minutes but I was a lot better than I was the last visit.

hunniebee, that's interestin that we both can't step foot in Target but seriously!! it's a scary place and I don't know why.

Maybe it is starting to get better.