I finally get the support I wanted... from my father...

My father always tried to shrug our disorder off like it didn't really exist, until I got really bad a few months ago.

Finally over the past two weeks he started opening up.

Yesterday he told me he had a panic attack in Cub Foods two weeks ago, and that his sister used to have panic attacks all the time and would have to breathe into a paper bag. (hypervenelating I imagine, his sister just passed away in December at 80 years old)

He also told me that many of my great aunts and his own mother suffered with severe panic disorder, one of my great aunts was institutionalized for 11 years with it.  I'm sure back then they didn't know what to do with us anxious souls, so we were just thrown into a psyche ward.

I think he just didn't want to accept the fact that his daughters also suffer with such a difficult disorder, but now he has to as I just kept getting worse and had to get on meds a few months ago.

I talk openly about how I feel and when I feel anxious and why, and now he just started recognizing that it isn't just "an excuse to get out of events and family things" but rather a debilitating disorder that I can't help but deal with and try to get better.  I told him of my fear of Target yesterday, and how I'm taking steps towards getting used to pushing myself forward, even if I feel panicky.

I feel really happy that I finally have some sort of support from him, and now it makes sense to me.  The disorder is hereditary, and he told me the majority of the sufferers in his family were women, which makes sense because they say 80% of all panic disorder/anxiety disorder sufferers are women.  He tried to hide this from me and my sister all these years but for some reason just started to talk to me about it over the course of a month.

Strange that he now just decides to recognize it. 

But helpful to me.

Just thought I'd share that all with you.

Twiggygal~

Hi Twiggygal

I'm glad your father is finally recognising your A/P and is trying to be helpful by talking about it. My sister and I both suffer anxiety and so does my father, we all discuss it, it makes it easier to deal with, knowing it runs in the family. I just wish other people could undestand it. Thank-you for sharing.

Take Care Jude

when my agoraphobia was eventually diagnosed, none of my family wanted to hear about it, this sort of thing being not discussed

an aunt was obviously having panic attacks but strongly denied it and was insulted when I told her. such is the stigma and fear of being labelled as mentally ill

familys that do discuss their fears and feelings do better, IMO

Now I'm wanting to trace the family history because I want to know where it all began.

Only one relative is left that has all the information about the family history that doesn't have Alzheimers. 

Thank you all for your kind comments :)   They're much appreciated.

But my question is, how to fix something that is hereditary?

Apparently my grandmother used to pop anti-anxiety pills.  They were "pre-xanax" (so I don't know what the med was called) and extremely addictive.  (as my father told me he used to swipe him when he would have panic attacks as a kid, and then my aunt Marianne got hooked on them too) 

I mean, I want to get better, but can you get better even though it's been passed on from generation to generation?  I hope so, I feel I'm getting better, and then I have my doubts.

Because when I get a panic attack I feel I'm at square 1, like yesterday, when I was so anxious before I got out the door of my house to go drive 20 minutes to the store, so I didn't.

Twiggygal~